And then eventually, inevitably, I am reminded that my attempts at meaningful conversation with neurotypicals always ends unsatisfactorily. It never quite leads anywhere meaningful. I was married for ten years and now that I'm divorced I have to accept that I will be alone for the rest of my life... That there is no more "us". Only me and them. I am a complete outsider. I am not capable of having a relationship with someone else unless they happened to be autistic. And I even tried dating a much older autistic man for the sake of loneliness and he didn't want to be exclusive. Why did God make autistic people? At my core, the essence of my being, I feel like a different species of human being.