Why do people eat meals together?

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"Absolutely not! My french toast combo has been laced with cyanide!"

I hate it when I'm just at a restaurant drinking coffee, and when I'm actually talking, a waitress comes up during the crux of my point. All of a sudden time stops and I feel like my vocal chords are tense as piano wires. "Yeah uhhh... uhhh... ummm... I'm fine... uh..."

Then I can't remember what I was talking about.

I'm not too stupid to know if everything is ok, but perhaps I am too stupid to ask for help if they don't come over. I don't like raising my voice, so I don't (and my rarely used loud volume is apparently more like average volume, so no one can hear me across the room anyway); whistling, snapping, ect. are rude, so I don't do those either. Looking around requires eye contact, which is not something I enjoy doing, and half the time I can't even tell who was supposed to be "my" server anyway.

I actually like when they come over to ask if everything's ok, or something to that affect (just coming over in general works too); they're not going to know otherwise, and if you're like me, and don't fetch her if something's wrong, they aren't going to be able to make you happy unless they know. If they come over too often, then yes, it's annoying and more of a hindrance than a help; but once in awhile is a good thing, as far as I'm concerned.

Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute - you put bacon on steak? That's hard core! Clint Eastwood and Mr. Miyagi both tried to do that, and look at them now! Just shattered them.

I heard somewhere that that's how the Tibetans used to identify the reincarnated Lama before the whole vegetarianism fad took hold. I think it was the food network, but they're biased as all hell.

I never liked eating with anyone, not even with my girlfriend or anyone from my my family. Obviously not because i hate them. I think people like eating with each other not because of the eating but the conversation and everything else you can do while you eat. Maybe a lot of people like to see the inside of your mouth while they talk to you - i don't know. Me, i don't like doing anything else while i eat. All that chewing, swallowing, and making sure nothing that's already in your mouth shoots out are already mentally tasking for me. I think if you already know how to eat, you should do it on your own.

I'm so tactless I walk over and refill the drinks myself. I'm always thirsty and It's my pet peeve if I don't have some liquid in front of me, and I don't feel like waiting a half hour for the waitress to bring me a glass of pepsi.

I'm hate talking and eating at the same time. I enjoy my food much better alone. When it’s noisy and people are talking I feel nervous and eat way too fast. Then I get annoying reflux pains, hiccups, or gas.

I'm also hate passing dishes at the family dinner table. Usually I'm either deep in thought or in the process of talking to someone when I get interrupted with "could you please pass the salad". I'd rather people just reach across the table and grab what they want rather than interrupt me.

You guys are funny...I am suppose to concentrate on my exam that's starting in a few minutes, but I am laughing now at all the answers...the one where it says "my vocal cords became as tense as a piano's wires", sorry for the grammar and spelling today, I decided that I will cut myself some slack when it comes to being perfect in everything, because ity's a lost battle...lol...
I am bold when I need something in a restaurant, I just go to the supply station and get it. I don't like eye contact (looking at the obnoxious waitress, with fake smiles on her face), unless it's in bed? with someone I love (I am trying so hard to read their face...lol...unsuccessfuly usually...lol...)...so getting my own stuff at the restaurant might be weird, but it is what works for me. Another thing is that I get so sick from certain foods, that I only have a couple of restaurants I can go to safely. At the Japanese one, you don't need much, just your chop sticks and your apetite...

You guys are funny, I feel like I will pass my exam now because I was able to laugh...piano wires...lol...

PS I am not saying that all waitresses are annoying. Another thing is, when going to a restaurant in my country (it use to be very conservative), you have to go with a man, if you are a woman and you can't make eye contact with the waiter (men only, yeah!! !), so because of etiquette the man is suppose to ask you what you want and tell the waiter. How convenient.

Last edited by cerasela on 03 Dec 2007, 10:00 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I don't get it either.

I don't like people watching me eat anyway. It makes me nervous. Sometimes even if I'm really hungry I'll only eat a few bites of food and throw the rest away just because someone's watching me.

Good times.

I'd rather not eat with others. Since I can't escape it i'll try to read at the table but the book is usually quickly removed from my person

At work - at lunch - i *loathe* eating with others. I see you all day, why in hell would I want to eat lunch with you?? My attempts to find a quiet place to eat my lunch in peace is usually smithereened by chatty coworkers who insist on following me everywhere.
and on that note, when I close my office door it means leave me alone! why is it that whenever I close my door they suddenly need to get in all the more??? if I took the door off entirely would they leave me alone???

Weird food hangups:

-Hate when people know I'm eating, worse when they see me
-Almost impossible to accept food from others
-HATE eating at other people's houses
-tend to stockpile things I will eat later
-tend to hide when eating, and do so very quickly, like an animal, even when I'm alone
-eat in the middle of the night (so nobody can tell)
-I can fake it enough so that I can eat in restaurants, at weddings, but mainly because I'm concentrating on proper utensil usage, all that highfalutin etiquette stuff.
-tons of salt!

There is a scientific explination if you are willling to search.

seconded... i'll favor a spork however. i can't think of anything worse at the table than having to watch someone's hand shoot out and take something off my plate. *jumps on their head*

Does anyone else have a problem where they really dislike eating when someone is sitting next to them? You get annoyed and scoot further away?

Depends who they are and what I think they are up to. If I know them and they are a friend, I wouldn't mind so much. If they're a stranger and acting strange, I wouldn't like it so much.

I think that I just had my first DECENT Thanksgiving dinner this year. I am a foreigner in US, no family of my own, besides my little daughter, so the whole Thanksgiving pig-out always made me nervous (sorry if I am rude, I don't mean to be disrespectful). But this year I was invited and reluctatly went to an older family, the grandparents of my daughter's best friend. I didn't know even half of the people there, but I felt so comfortable. Even the fact that the person on my left was a total stranger and very close to my elbow, did not succed to make me nervous. On my right I had the only woman I know that's a perfect lady, kind and gentle, my friend, Amy. I usually get more and more and more nervous as a dinner like Thanksgiving gets longer, but not this year. It probably helps that the dinner was not at my in laws, that always had noisy and not peaceful dinners. Always something rude (like making fun of each other etc.). At the end of the Thanksgiving dinner this year, I was able to say goodbye to everybody, smile, actually look them in the eyes and just felt good the whole time. My friend also told me that I was very funny, another clue that I was not nervous at all. And most of all, I enjoyed every minute of it and I did not pig out, no seconds for me and the food was delicious.
I have learned this past year that I have this problem, AS, unfortunately the NT population is much more numerous, so I have to learn how to adapt, because in the daily life I have to deal with NT norms, not quiet and gentle AS norms. I will never be able to talk with NT women about things that I still consider stupid, like shopping, but I also learned that I can't just turn my back to someone because their approach feels threatening. It is threatening only in my head. I know that now. And I know that when I turned my back, I already allienated myself from them and they will just think that I am a Psych patient, if they don't know about AS, there is no way they will understand that they make me uncomfortable to the point where it hurts. So I will keep practicing being friendly, I know at some point it will work. I am not better than anybody and nobody is better than me.
Anyway, sorry for the rambling.

For the ones of you that want to hear an adult AS lady's perspective on living with AS, I found her series on youtube. It is the first time when I could watch something about AS and not feel discouraged and depressed. I really like her. Watch all her diary, you will like it.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hx_EYlu5mow[/youtube]