The Random Limericks Thread

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Make up your own random limericks.

In case you don't know what one is lookie at the link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limericks

I start.

There once was man named Bob,
How liked to play with his GLASSES.



Seriously.

There once was a man named Joe,
Who was hairy from head to toe,
One day he started shaving,
It didn't do him favours,
As he sadly cut off his poor nose.

There once was a man named Eric,
Who would laugh at poor jokes in hysterics,
He one day broke his ribs,
After winding up kids,
And now he don't laugh, he just panics.

There once was a girl named Marie,
Who couldn't help but scream while she peed,
But now she just frowns,
A smile upside-down,
It makes her feel a bit more free.

(Yeah that one was weird... It just came to me.)

There once was a man named Jon,
Who wanted to eat his bon-bon,
But when he looked down,
And looked all aroun',
He came to find it was gone.

Okay, I love this thread...

There once was a man named Dan,
Who liked to eat beans from a can,
He let out with a hoot,
When his tooshie went toot,
Now it hurts him to sit on his can.

There once was a man with a limp,
Other people called him a gimp,
But one day he got a cane,
And changed his whole game,
Now people call him a pimp.

It isn't a limerick if it isn't dirty. All of the above are simply limerick form.

deleted, I didn't make it up

All I wanted to know was her name,
Instead she played this game.
Now I'm all alone,
No one on the phone,
Standing outside in the rain.

Let me tell you a story about Chuck,
Who wanted to find Lady Luck.
He went over to Reno,
From Los Angles' Encino,
Now he's down in the dirt and the muck.

I know another story about Chuck, but this isn't the adult forum...

There once was a husband named Larry,
Who always came home tired and weary.
By the door was a note,
And on it, she wrote,
"I'd much rather live with Kerry."

There once was a man with a limerick,
He didn't quite know how to rhyme,
He tried and he tried,
Then stopped when he wept,
Maybe he'll just be a beatnik.

My last posted limerick was bad,
Maybe I should stop, it's so sad,
But I've formed an obsession,
And work's been slow goin',
I wonder if it's just a fad.

There was a man who batted Cricket,
But he didn't quite know how to stick it,
The bowler threw,
The bails, they flew,
The bowler had taken his wicket.

Thanks for loving this thread.

There once was a man called Ryan,
Who was a gangsta nicknamed "The Flyer",
One day he got mugged,
Of all of his drugs,
And now he's in the street dying.

I talked to a lemon today,
It seemed to have nothing to say,
I talked for an hour,
While the lemon went sour,
And began to wither away.

There's this programme called MSN,
It sometimes drives you round the bends.
You just say hello,
Then you have to go,
And block the sick, paedo in seconds.