Not a work party animal

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I love Christmas. But one part I dont like are work parties (an Oxymoron)

1) I have to socialize
2) I dont like strange food with strong odors and all sorts of goopy sauces ,especially when I am dressed in a suit and also because my stomach is sensitive ( I think IBS is common among anxious Aspys)
3) You either have to do the stupid Secret Santa thing or the white elephant. And no one does the white elephant right, they all go out and spend way over the limit to buy fancy candles or popcorn tins, etc.

And it is not just Christmas parties, it is post audit parties or thanks for the budget work lunches. I always feel so out of place and so annoyed by the smelly, gross food.

I am obviously not a foody

How do you deal with work parties?

I just take the food, and go to my desk, saying that I have lots of work to do.

I'm not an unfriendly person--but I don't indulge in most of the social crap.

I get by through people thinking I'm weird--like a court-jester.

Kings used to trust their court-jesters the most; court-jesters used to hear the king's innermost secrets.

It was thought that court-jesters either

1. They had unusual insight into human nature, so they provide a good sounding board.

2. They were so feeble-minded that it was thought that they wouldn't comprehend the secrets the king was telling him, anyway.

I get tipsy very quickly to deal with the stress, then go home early. Where I live, getting embarrassingly drunk is fairly normal, so no one minds. That being said, this is probably not such a great strategy for a middle aged man in a managerial position.

At least the going home early strategy is available to all. Nobody wants the manager to hang around towards the end of the party anyway.

I second drinking, especially if the company is picking up the tab.