How do you stop living in the past?

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I feel like one of my problems is i'm living in the past. I don't know why, i guess it has allot to do with what could have been if i did something different. Or thinking about your friends growing up, who got married and have kids, and i'm just like, what the hell am i doing? What do you guys think of this?

Accept that it's irrecoverable.

Think about the mantra "here and now"

Do something useful


Yes I live in the past too

Gentle teasing: Given you are 1,930 years old that's a LOT of past.

I think one can grieve for the past - but it cannot be changed, so necessarily accepts it --- however, there are aspects of the past that are present and those can be changed.

Before I suspected ASD, I had already starting to make things right with my regrets. I'm nearing 50, so in my case, natural human development is at work -- I think it's called wisdom? Now the forgiving-oneself part of ASD is appealing to me. Puts the past grieving and present hardships in perspective.

You are not living your friend's lives, you are living your own life.

Take control and focus on yourself. Once you are comfortable in your own skin (and your past) then it becomes easier to tackle the future.

Learning from your past is only useful to understand if there is anything you can constructively do in the future that is of value to you or other people or the planet. Dwelling on your past serves nobody (unless you plan to write an autobiography).

When I look back, there are mistakes I made; things I could have done differently; opportunities missed.
But the point is that I have made many good decisions and captured many unique opportunities.
So when you look at the present and to the future; my living overwhelms the distant echo of the past.

I once read an important saying:
"There'll be two dates on your tombstone and all your friends will read them. But all that is going to matter is that little dash between them."
In other words when you were born and when you die is unimportant but rather all the time between those two dates. So make the most of your life. Live your grand adventures and don't be afraid.

When I was living with my sister the last time, she was emotionally & verbally abusing me, she gave me bad anxiety & gave me low self-esteem, it took me a very long time to forget about the past & I did forget it.

I think you maybe jealous & want somebody in your life.

As I got out more, and my social opportunities have expanded, I have become aware of how much ground I need to make up and the habits I didn't put into place when I was younger. I wouldn't want to return to my old life at all. I realize that I won't have everything normal people have because I started too late in many important adult milestones, but I can still have a lot if I keep doing things.

I went through a bout of this too in 2018.

I suppose it depends on how far back in the past you've been looking but, for me, it was decades. It was had to do with a lie someone I trusted told me years back that had deep consequences that affected my life. I was simultaneously enraged, jealous, full of self-doubt (about everything) and depressed. I had done several things to get past it ... but, I'll tell you what, getting past that idiocy could be summed up in one word:

work.

Getting past the ... past, takes a lot of perspective and clarity meaning you have to be above the emotions that are keeping you stuck there. While I don't know what your exact situation is, that's something you need to dive deep and figure out.

New job, friends, hobbies


Counseling, medication

Meditation

I think of what one of my favorite tennis players, Denis Istomin said, "Don't look back, only forward." It's hard to do, but I'm working on it.

My girlfriend's on the spectrum & lives in the past but in a different way. She often talks about how much better things were when she lived with her parents compared to how bad things are now. Cass kinda had to move out but some things in her life got a lot worse after & things got a lot worse for her parents as well. She might of moved back in with them if she didn't get in a relationship with me & I kinda feel guilty even thou I know I shouldn't. I kinda know things still would of gotten worse for them anyways but I cant help feeling bad about it. She cant move back in with them even if I were to disappear from her life cuz there's no room for her now & their house is falling apart. I guess I wish I could make things better for everyone & sometimes feel like Cass deserves someone who could take better care of her than me.

No one can live in the past, or in the future, purely due to matters relating to the space time continuum of which I don't have the knowledge to explain in full detail. People do often dwell on past events in their lives, but that's still something that they are doing in the present (as is everything else they do).

Sorry for the hopelessly pedantic post.