Boyfriend doesn't care how he makes me feel

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^ RIP

He had some serious balls to post this; it had to be said.

Agreed.

He finally stopped using it because one night when he came over I went through his history and saw all these pictures and conversations with other girls and just let it all put. He saw how much it destroyed me and had me install filters on his computer. The thing is that even now that he's stopped I still have those images in my head and I feel like s**t. Why is he with me? I'll never be able to compete with that. He chewed me out and said "you think partners have to be super sexy and stereotypical when it's all about finding the companion that compliments you," and that he wouldn't care if he could get a girl with the so called perfect body because they probably wouldn't care about anything he was interssted in. He keeps trying to tell me that I'm his physical ideal now and I just can't get it out of my head that the only reason he's with me is that he doesn't know any of these Reddit girls in real life. He also said the other day, "You can't keep assuming I'm a pig, it's ridiculous."

you know what I reckon - the problem isn't that he isn't into you, the problem is that you are not into him.

I'm really into him and I appreciate that he tries to make me feel better. I think he's a good guy, I really do, and I'm trying to get past this. He told me that if he didn't want me he wouldn't say till be with me, so I guess he has a point there.

Hmmm.... I think you have some issues here in deciding what's important and what's not such a big deal here. Perspective!

Random comments about women going topless. It ain't about you. Really. Nothing to worry about.
Online sex conversations with women who post topless pics? Kinda a big deal. Cyber-cheating.

And I'll add something in about types and attractiveness for nothing. The type of men I like to look at in pictures/ pornography are not always the type of men that I'm attracted to in real life. I'm much more flexible in my attraction in real life. Looking at someone with an ideal physique doesn't make me less attracted to my lover who isn't what a lot of people would pick out as super hot. But I think he is!

I get how you feel. But all you have to think about is all the male celebrities you find attractive. If I were you I would make a joke to your boyfriend about hot guys with nice muscular bodies walking around topless to see how he likes it.

That's a slippery slope. He did it out of ignorance of feelings where she would be doing it in a game playing fashion.

If it bothers her she should simply talk about it. Anyone reasonable would make an adjustment for her. Ideally she should be able to see that it's not about her and it shouldn't bother her, but if not ( not everyone can live up to whats theoretically the way to see things) it's no great hardship for him to change his ways if it hurts her feelings and she's unable to change.

It'd be easier for him to change than her in those circumstances. We can't change what hurts us but we can stop what we're doing that hurts others. Stopping oggling other people wouldn't hurt him but not stopping would hurt her. It's not even as if he has to change his feelings, he just needs to be less vocal about it, give her the illusion that he's interested in no one but her even if it's not true in his head.

The only problem there being how much pride he has and whether he can rein it in. Some people actually get offended like they're being controlled or something. Like it's their god given right to oggle women because it's part of " who they are" or whatever. Nonsense, it doesn't cost anything to make tiny changes like that, not if you're a decent person and you love someone and dont want to see them hurt.

He's more careful now. Thank goodness. If I may confess something, for a short time when all this discovery of his cyber interactions and whatnot, I was incredibly tempted to cheat. Not out of revenge either - because I wanted to have my beauty and value validated by someone who hadn't lied about it before. I'm past that stage and decided to be the bigger person but it was a painful, confusing time for me.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ6jKCWIoYc[/youtube]

How would he know he has the smallest dick in his family?Do they compare them at family reunions?

You cant control your boyfriend because over time he will leave you also dont be so insecure I mean you have a boyfriend right? Also if he treats you like crap then go find a new one.

He pulled the same s**t yesterday at a football game. I made a comment about a few douchebag guys going shirtless and he said it was stupid/trashy especially because it wasn't even hot out. He went on to say that it was sexist women couldn't, after which I said "You just want to leer at bare tits, you pig!" He quickly claimed he was joking, but I scooted away from him and replied to a text a friend sent me. I didn't talk to him for a few minutes. I apologized to him on the way home for calling him a pig but made it clearkhe was lucky I didn't elbow him because he's supposed to know better.

You remind me of Drama TV series.

Diamond balls, we should kidnap him to mine them.