Are you better liked when people think you're male?
I'll get over it. I can't explain it other than I thought I was getting to know the person in the picture. I wish she'd put her real picture up. It's just a really big change and I hate change.
_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.
Sorry Raleigh, that I got so upset.
If Fnord comes out and says he's a female, I'm definitely going to faint.
_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.
So...I'm curious.
Other than in highly gendered conversations, unless men and women *are* indeed treated differently (as the OP stated)...why does it matter if someone else is the gender you assume they are?
_________________
“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.”
―Carl Sagan
Other than in highly gendered conversations, unless men and women *are* indeed treated differently (as the OP stated)...why does it matter if someone else is the gender you assume they are?
For me, conversations flow differently. If I'm talking to a woman I'm going to talk more about "female" things and the opposite with a man - especially with things like crochet. With a guy who crochets (like I thought Raleigh was) I may ask questions and be more straight forward with conversation - I'm not going to hang around and do "girl talk" with a guy. Just like Raleigh said - she gets treated differently when they think she's a guy. It's true.
_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.
Sometimes I wind up with enough hippie hair that eventually someone thinks I'm a girl. NTs seem to squirm even more than I would when they make that mistake...
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Other than in highly gendered conversations, unless men and women *are* indeed treated differently (as the OP stated)...why does it matter if someone else is the gender you assume they are?
For me, conversations flow differently. If I'm talking to a woman I'm going to talk more about "female" things and the opposite with a man - especially with things like crochet. With a guy who crochets (like I thought Raleigh was) I may ask questions and be more straight forward with conversation - I'm not going to hang around and do "girl talk" with a guy. Just like Raleigh said - she gets treated differently when they think she's a guy. It's true.
Thank you. I have no doubt it's true and have experienced it myself (and within myself). I'm just wondering why online it seems to matter as much as IRL, even with topics that really don't have a gender? I mean, I'd like to hope that for some topics at least, it shouldn't matter? Yet, if I'm talking to a woman about my grandmother teaching me to make pirogi, it's a very different conversation than I'd have with a man on the very same topic. Doesn't make sense.
(thank you also, for helping me to clarify my question)
_________________
“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.”
―Carl Sagan
Other than in highly gendered conversations, unless men and women *are* indeed treated differently (as the OP stated)...why does it matter if someone else is the gender you assume they are?
For me, conversations flow differently. If I'm talking to a woman I'm going to talk more about "female" things and the opposite with a man - especially with things like crochet. With a guy who crochets (like I thought Raleigh was) I may ask questions and be more straight forward with conversation - I'm not going to hang around and do "girl talk" with a guy. Just like Raleigh said - she gets treated differently when they think she's a guy. It's true.
I'm sometimes not in the mood for "girl talk." On one website people thought I was male despite my avatar being a picture of me and occasionally mentioning I was female.
I guess this shows I have an androgynous personality. The internet is also a great way for me to take a break from being seen as female. I like the feeling of being seen as gender neutral or male. It's also entertaining to watch people get confused about my gender.
This never happens to me in real life because of my feminine appearance and mannerisms. I sometimes meet people who see beyond my gender in real life. The internet is a great way to remove gender from my interactions. Unfortunately some people can't imagine interacting without gender. I personally see gender as a superficial thing that effects the way people interact with each other way too much.
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
My gender superimpositions on people can be so frustrating. I try hard to not project them, they are so deeply ingrained. I can't properly think of someone as gender neutral, and can't completely forget there is any gender, even if i try to treat someone that way.
I don't know if i would be more liked as a male, depends what you mean by liked. I think it depends on the circumstances. Spending time with gay guys can be nice way to get rid of some of the pressures of gender.
_________________
Nothing lasts but nothing is lost
I don't know if i would be more liked as a male, depends what you mean by liked. I think it depends on the circumstances. Spending time with gay guys can be nice way to get rid of some of the pressures of gender.
When I know people's genders I admit I do have my biases. When I'm on the internet I do think of a lot of people as gender neutral. I still have a hard time thinking of people as gender neutral in real life. Another thing I do is think of people as female if they identify as genderqueer. I wish I didn't, but I do. I think other people do the same. That's why I omit my gender on some websites instead of calling myself genderqueer.
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
I don't know if i would be more liked as a male, depends what you mean by liked. I think it depends on the circumstances. Spending time with gay guys can be nice way to get rid of some of the pressures of gender.
When I know people's genders I admit I do have my biases. When I'm on the internet I do think of a lot of people as gender neutral. I still have a hard time thinking of people as gender neutral in real life. Another thing I do is think of people as female if they identify as genderqueer. I wish I didn't, but I do. I think other people do the same. That's why I omit my gender on some websites instead of calling myself genderqueer.
Yeah for now its perhaps one of the only ways to experience being gender neutral for a while. Its such a powerful force wanting to ascribe gender, even if i try not to.
_________________
Nothing lasts but nothing is lost
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,451
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,451
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Other than in highly gendered conversations, unless men and women *are* indeed treated differently (as the OP stated)...why does it matter if someone else is the gender you assume they are?
From another thread
Gender is a very significant part of who you are, even personality-wise, and your perspective of the world you live in (and how the world perceives you), it's far beyond than simple differences in anatomy.
There's "Gender" in everything, in our languages, in our clothes, in the way people react to us, in dating courtships, in friendships,social expectations, social rules..etc....EVERYTHING, everything. Even here on WP, the way users react to a male member complaining about life do not react the same way to female member doing the same

A silly instance but very noticeable: when guys are together, they might joke around using obscene terms such "f*** you man", "This f*** awesome!" .... things that they would never say in front of girl - in fact, if they talk like that in front of them some ladies eventually will tell them to mind their language.
There are lot of things that people of one gender talk among themselves exclusively gender-wise, this is why you see some WP members here who get furious on the idea of males posting on women's forum, because it is a breach to this social rule

Two different worlds, two different dimensions. Norah Vincent, the author of Self-Made Man, discovered this very well (And she eventually preferred the Women world btw).
And this isn't changing anytime soon.
Other than in highly gendered conversations, unless men and women *are* indeed treated differently (as the OP stated)...why does it matter if someone else is the gender you assume they are?
From another thread
Gender is a very significant part of who you are, even personality-wise, and your perspective of the world you live in (and how the world perceives you), it's far beyond than simple differences in anatomy.
There's "Gender" in everything, in our languages, in our clothes, in the way people react to us, in dating courtships, in friendships,social expectations, social rules..etc....EVERYTHING, everything. Even here on WP, the way users react to a male member complaining about life do not react the same way to female member doing the same

A silly instance but very noticeable: when guys are together, they might joke around using obscene terms such "f*** you man", "This f*** awesome!" .... things that they would never say in front of girl - in fact, if they talk like that in front of them some ladies eventually will tell them to mind their language.
There are lot of things that people of one gender talk among themselves exclusively gender-wise, this is why you see some WP members here who get furious on the idea of males posting on women's forum, because it is a breach to this social rule

Two different worlds, two different dimensions. Norah Vincent, the author of Self-Made Man, discovered this very well (And she eventually preferred the Women world btw).
And this isn't changing anytime soon.
I still think gender is very superficial for me. It's about as superficial as my hair color. I don't think it truly affects my personality. If you identify any of my female traits it's probably comfirmation bias. I have plenty of male traits as well, but they're probably invisible to you because you know I'm female.
It definitely affects the way people treat me, social rules and my life experiences. I sometimes prefer to be treated like a man and I sometimes prefer to be treated like a woman.
Depending on the what I'm talking about I choose what gender to present as. On here I present as a woman because I signed up as one and its relevant to this topic. When I talk about my dating or social life I sometimes prefer to present as male.
When I present as female I have to deal with people obsessing about me being mentally ill and give me irrelevant advice. When I present as male I notice people understand me way better. If I'm annoyed about my lack of experience with girls and social awkwardness other guys in my situation will sympathize with me and give me advice.
If I present as female people will tell me to date guys instead. They'll also tell me BS about girls being higher value when they're virgins. Since I give zero f***s about my attractiveness to men that's just meaningless to me. Since I'm interested in girls it's easier to just get advice for men.
I also like to get a different perspective on my personality. When I present as female people think I'm mentally ill, introverted, boring, should be dating men and sexy. They also have no clue when I'm joking or being sarcastic. When they think I'm male they think I'm nerdy and funny. Men can also be mentally ill without it overshadowing the rest of their personality.
I notice that when I'm female there's always one thing people like to pick on. It could be my gender, age, sexual orientation, not smiling in pictures or showing any sign of emotions. I know this whole thread makes me seem super duper female.
I'm just hoping that one day gender won't affect how people are treated or perceived.
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
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