Boyfriend doesn't care how he makes me feel

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I know, but I thought she said on another thread that she found out about it after they were together because she looked through his computer history, but he had actually been doing it before they were together. Then she put some kind of lock/filter thing on his computer. Something about how his tastes couldn't have changed in a week or something.

I could be confusing her with another poster, but I'm pretty sure it's her. I'm too lazy to hunt through posts to see though. Maybe she will pop back in and clarify it for us.

If that is her, how does she have the right to block websites? That's incredibly mean. -.-

I believe she said she had his permission.

Confidence is all you need. Love yourself. It doesn't matter if your guy likes to look at other women, as long as he doesn't f**k them, it's fine. When I am in a relationship, I still look at porn, I look at men. I don't mind my S.O. looking at another woman as long as he doesn't try anything with her.

The more you let those birds fly free, the more they'll feel safe to come home.

Men are just adorable, horny little scruffy muffins, that you have to satiate daily. For you see, men must be fed, given a good scratch on the back, a nice B.J. in the morning, cuddles in the evening, some sex, T.V., video games, and bed. They need to be told that they are wonderful and special and these compliments need to come from the heart.
Men are very simple in their desires and wants once they are in a committed relationship, but you really gotta work on treating them well. Trust me, if you treat your man with kindness and love and understanding, then he will stick by your side no matter what.

Even if he looks at other girls, that isn't where he's at emotionally. He looks to you for love, sex, friendship, companionship. So give those things to him! Love him!

Don't let little things from your past or your worries pollute you love. Despite the fact that they don't show it very often, men are very very very very very emotionally sensitive creatures. If you treat them with care, they will stay by your side.

Also, I must point out that a good blow job will keep him with you. I'm not the best in bed, but I've learned to give some of the best damned blow jobs men have ever had, and they always come back. You gotta empty that bucket for him!! !

These both are correct. I went through his Reddit looking for pictures of him younger and found he'd called a girl who looks the absolute opposite of me that she had a "perfect shape" and that he "loved her curves" a few days before we got together. This happened a little bit after I found out he'd been looking at porn girls posted of themselves on Reddit and contacting them still.

And yes, I did have his permission.

If he didn't know you and was talking to her trying to hook up, you have to remember that guys will say anything to hook up. Maybe she just looked easy or something so he started talking to her. Whether or not he prefers curves like that he has to say something. What's he gonna say "I like your figure but your boobs are just a little too big for me". No, he's gonna compliment her. If she had one leg and two heads and that was what he thought he could hook up with that night he would tell her she has a great leg. Not all compliments from guys are sincere. Sometimes they are just a way to start a conversation or lead it in the direction you want it to go in. That's probably what he was doing with her. Or, some people don't have just one particular type they like. Some people can like several body types and prefer one, or like them all equally.

I dunno, I found this sort of sexist, even if it is benevolently sexist. Men are people and they are individuals, just like women are. I know the idea that the sexes are totally different is kind of in fashion right now, but I tend to find that people are totally different from each other in a million ways that have nothing to do with gender.

Being good at blowjobs is nice but not all men are that simple. They're not pets you have sex with.

And I find that you're trying to fish for an over complicated forum answer. People are complex. But the basics if making them happy isn't. You treat them well. I feel as though you're looking for something sexist in my post and I find that offensive, as well I should, when that isn't my intent. Why not ask me what the intent behind my words are before assuming that I find treating people like 'pets'.

Men need love. They like food, they like sex. This is predominantly universal with every male. I can't treat my comment with the individuality of her situation because I don't know her boyfriend.

You find me to be sexist, I find you presumptive. Raspberries at you.

Well, I read your post and it does come across as (at best) mildly sexist. Thankfully you qualify it in your last post.

If a women sees men in limited terms, no surprises to find out that the relationship and connection with the man will be so limited. Then she'll wonder why he walks out on her one day...

This is worrying. I think you're confusing the male species with the neopets species...perhaps you had a tamagotchi and it all went wrong from there!

We are no more your pets than you are a receptacle for us to put sperm into on demand, organizer of our sock drawers, or something that looks good on the arm.

I hate it when people assume something about me that isn't true. What the hell, you don't like my post so you go out of your way to be as vehement as possible?
If you don't agree with it that's fine, that's your opinion, but I don't have men walk out on me, unless we don't have a very good connection with one another, and that can happen with anyone. I treat men very well and the ones I have been with love and appreciate me, and those actions were reciprocated.

You know, what's so sad is this is supposed to be a forum where people with aspergers learn how to communicate with other people. Because I am here, I have it. I may not be able to put my intentions into the best of words, but at least I know what they are. I don't assume to know what is behind your intent, but from the looks of it it's to be as vile as you can because of your assumptions that I am sexist, or that I treat men like pets. But you have never seen me with a man, you don't know who I am as a person and all you have to go off of is this post.

My intentions were to help a girl out in her relationship. You just want to call me out on something. Even if you're wrong, which you are, because I am myself and know myself well enough to know what I was trying to convey.

People on this forum post horrible, unkind and sexist things all the time, and my post was trying to be nothing but kind to someone who was asking for help. You're going to see me how you want to see me, but you don't have enough accurate information about me as a person to make the judgments that you have made. If you want to respond to this to argue about how I'm wrong, or to dissect what I've said into bits to prove how right you are, then fine. What hurtful things to say! Even if I know they aren't true, it's still enough to make me cry. You jerk.

Huh?

What's so sad is that you haven't read my post at all, and have got upset about a tamagotchi, and an obviously general comment about a man walking out on a woman - NOT about you, that's why I wrote 'a woman'.

What on earth are you on about? I'm not being vehement or vile - not in the slightest, and I'm surprised you can take it this way. I'm not assuming anything about you at all.

I will say that the post was mildly sexist. The POST. Not you, not your cat, not your budgie called Gerald...whatever.

If you want to learn how to communicate with people, I suggest that you read the posts and not think that everything is a criticism of yourself. Thanks.

This is really poor.

I didn't think you treated men like pets, but your post had some parts of it that made it seem like you were simplifying their needs to that level. Yes men need food and sex, but they also need to be understood on a deeper level than that.

If you reverse the genders in your posts and read it back again, then you can see what I mean. Yes I like chocolate and having my sexy bits seen to, but I'd be sort of annoyed if I saw men giving relationship advice that went something like 'women are simple creatures and easy to please in a relationship, just give them some fudge cake and cunnilingus and you'll be right as rain.' It wouldn't be very sexist, but it would still be mildly sexist, even if it was well-intentioned. It is a good intention to want to satisfy a partner's basic needs, but I think people focus on them a bit too much with men because there's this idea in society (not you) that men are just caveman and that's all there is to them. I'm not saying you think that, but your post has a tone that would support that stereotype, even if that wasn't your intention.

I like raspberries.

I feel as though you're backtracking. Of course what you wrote was offensive! Your post was in response to something I said and an opinion against it, so despite the fact that you said 'women' and not 'me', I'm going to count on the fact that I'm included in the statement. Especially more so than other women, sinse the comment was directed at me.

The comment pertaining to virtual pets isn't very fair either. My comment wasn't sexist at all.

The guy I am with 'is' a sensitive adorable scruffy dude, and we get along great because of the things we so for one another. The OP was worried about her boyfriend looking at other girls, and not appreciating her body type. I relate to that because I am also working through self image issues, and the guy I sleep with had a girlfriend who was very similar to her in the way she deals with her fears. I mean, as far as from what I can gather between these posts and another thread of hers.

I understand the guy I am with very well, we have been friends for seven years and know neary everything about one another. There are times we spend doing nothing at all but discussing our fears and hopes and dreams and whatnot. I would 'never' consider him to be a pet, or any other man. But I feel as though what I posted is true.

When we wake up in the morning I give him a good back scratch and massage. He loves it! He works a desk job all day and it helps his back. He loves to be cuddled and held, and treated lovingly. I don't have much of a libido, so I compensate by giving him a bj. Every guy I have been with has told me how much they love getting bjs, it's not a generalization to me, it's from my own experience of men.

Guys like me because I enjoy treating them with care and sensitivity. I don't treat them like Neopets. I show my love through actions, which turns into effective communication.

When I wrote my post, I thought lovingly of a person that I have been through hell and back with, and who I have spent more time and money and love on than anyone else. I don't treat him like a pet, he's not, he's a love. I treat him as that.

I just wanted the OP to understand that kind actions will keep him by her side, if it came off as a generalization of the whole male species I am sorry. I love men. I think that they are all darlings.

Backtracking? No. It's not my fault that you construe a blatantly wider point as a personal attack (and still continue to do so), and get upperty over a tamagotchi, for goodness sake! Why would I just attack someone for no reason, in the women's forum of all places? You assumed the worst, just because I don't agree with you. Guess what - I still don't.

Maybe you relate to men on a superficial, semi-sexist level (which your posts are now consistently showing) because that's all you're capable of. I mean, some people are like that - they want to see the other person as they would make them into, not what they actually are. Like what you've done with my posts, for instance.

Anyway, to the OP. I think some of what you say will help her - but blatant compensatory mechanisms, like a daily blowjob and back massage, actually could (before you jump down my throat yet again!) give the impression that someone is coming from a position of desperation and weakness - and personal insecurity. This is very shaky ground for a relationship. What's worse is that often the person who is investing in this behaviour has some sort of false security about the relationship that only applies in their heads.

I think loving oneself is the main thing at hand. Anything else is the long way around - which people are generally inclined to take, men and women alike. Yet, I see it time and time again on the forum. It's like loving oneself is the last thing anyone will face. Why is this?

his a man date a girly man if your not happy .

I wouldn't mind that's my only asset I am proud of.