Hard time socializing with other women?

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Does anyone else have a markedly harder time socializing with other women than with men? It seems women are more likely to act like the "gatekeepers of society" and are much less forgiving of social gaffes than men are. Women also seem to have this really complicated "code" that I can't seem to pick up on. On the rare occasion when I join a social gathering, I always find myself driving home thinking "I f*****d up again!! ! Stupid stupid STUPID!! !! !" And it's usually connected to some type of exchange with another woman. I can never tell if they like me or if they're plotting my death and trying to figure out how to make it look like an accident...

I don't socialise with either, but for different reasons.

You are right about females being the 'gatekeepers' of society - they wield so much power socially and always have done. If the women in your community dislike you for whatever reason, there are likely to be repercussions. Neuro-typical Women are masters of psychological warfare, and will usually have honed their skills since childhood.

I've been in situations similar to yours and have been left baffled at the negative reactions I received without knowing what went wrong at the time! Once I had time to think, I realised that perhaps l didn't make the 'right' facial expression, or I went off on a tangent and failed to make the right noises when discussing a particular subject.

It's hard to say when you haven't had any feedback, and especially when the women you're engaging with don't know you are on the Autism spectrum. You are just expected to know all the social rules.

I'm not saying that all neuro-typical women are socially confident, manipulative bullies (I've had positive interactions with them too) - I can only talk about my own experiences and observations.

Men aren't that keen on me either because I don't respond to them in the way they'd like. I don't flirt or have an expressive face so they find me difficult to read, which throws them off guard.

It does feel, increasingly as I age, that there really is no sisterhood between women, but maybe this was only ever naive presumptions about us to begin with. I often suspect other women in person don't like me as a first impression, for multiple reasons. I can acknowledge though that my tendency to commit social gaffes (which fixates on no gender) probably makes the first point irrelevant. I would love to have female friends again to meet and socialise with in real life, but these days I can't expect that to happen until I change my ways and be more visible, more likeable.

Exactly!
I've seen so many smiley faces that turned to backstabbing when the victim was leaving the room that I can never be sure with women... It's always been alien to me - how can they fake these smiles and friendliness so well and then suddenly *switch off* have all that bitchy gossipy nasty side oozing out. It left me confused so many times (like wide-eyed, jaw-dropped confused) that I'm always careful with women now. I've never experienced any "sisterhood". I had 2 close female friends in primary school, but when hormones kicked in somehow the world of girls whooshed away into space and I never re-connected with it again.