What are some common social cues that you don't catch?

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hyperlexian
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16 Mar 2013, 7:38 am

alakazaam wrote:
Explain a situation of a social cue that you didn't catch? How did everybody react?

i don't smile very often, apparently. i've been told this by students, coworkers, partners, friends, etc. it most recently happened at at tour of a potential workplace along with 5 other people. the tour guide/team leader stopped what he was saying midsentence in he tour and said to me outright in front of everyone, "you don't smile very much." i didn't know i was supposed to smile on a tour of a job site. 8O

but i laugh a lot, so i guess it seems weird that i don't smile when i am supposed to.


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b9
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16 Mar 2013, 7:51 am

nessa238 wrote:
Other people have said I talk in away that is unorganised and all over the place so you are not the first
It just comes out of my head onto the page, with editing for grammar and spelling sometimes or to try and make it clearer.


please do not feel sad because i did not understand you? i never meant for you to feel sad.
most people who know me know that i am unlikely to understand why they say what they say.
i have a mind like a robot and i can not use fuzzy and warm logic to infer what people mean. no one but tammy values my friendship. everyone else feels like i am a pre programmed machine. the fact that you have emotions makes you a winner of a lottery that i never even had a ticket in.

i did not know that my words could have such a cruel effect, and i do have compassion in a very basic way. i just thought that what i said was easily dismissible by people who had more "heart" than me.

i am so sorry if i caused you any sadness, i truly am. all i said was that i did not understand, and i felt kind of insignificant anyway in the scheme of things. i had no idea that it may injure you. it makes me sad that i made you sad (if i am correctly perceiving the situation)

please forgive me? i apologize.



nessa238
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16 Mar 2013, 8:00 am

b9 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Other people have said I talk in away that is unorganised and all over the place so you are not the first
It just comes out of my head onto the page, with editing for grammar and spelling sometimes or to try and make it clearer.


please do not feel sad because i did not understand you? i never meant for you to feel sad.
most people who know me know that i am unlikely to understand why they say what they say.
i have a mind like a robot and i can not use fuzzy and warm logic to infer what people mean. no one but tammy values my friendship. everyone else feels like i am a pre programmed machine. the fact that you have emotions makes you a winner of a lottery that i never even had a ticket in.

i did not know that my words could have such a cruel effect, and i do have compassion in a very basic way. i just thought that what i said was easily dismissible by people who had more "heart" than me.

i am so sorry if i caused you any sadness, i truly am. all i said was that i did not understand, and i felt kind of insignificant anyway in the scheme of things. i had no idea that it may injure you. it makes me sad that i made you sad (if i am correctly perceiving the situation)

please forgive me? i apologize.


Of course I forgive you

I over-reacted as I wasn't in a very good mood

It's very easy for me to become sarcastic and facetious when in a bad mood

I understand that you interpret things diferently to me

I always thought I communicated relatively clearly but I can see that it varies

I don't think my emotions make me a winner to be honest as they get me into too much trouble as I express
them too overtly

I can also come across as cold and unemotional a lot of the time as well as I can't emote to order

It's not there when needed but there too much when not needed - very badly regulated, like a faulty thermostat



b9
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16 Mar 2013, 8:11 am

i hope hyperlexian that i am not in your cross hairs. i have no idea whether i have been a good person with my posts in this thread.

i spoke to tammy on the phone tonight and i told her i posted her video about her bedroom, and she wants me to post my video of my dirty shoes because it is very similar in vocal character to her video (she thinks i sound similar to her in a way) so here are my dirty shoes (the main point of the video is how i talk and how it interfaces with how tammy is).
we are very compatible.


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MumbMqF6d78&list=UUpB1H594Ek2H_hWBxJ7ja7g&index=6[/youtube]



hyperlexian
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16 Mar 2013, 8:15 am

b9 wrote:
i hope hyperlexian that i am not in your cross hairs. i have no idea whether i have been a good person with my posts in this thread.

no, you have not broken any rules here. and it looks like you and nessa238 have reached some common ground.


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b9
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16 Mar 2013, 8:52 am

i must say that even though my feet are mirror images of each other, they are not "back to front",
whatever, ti is very late and i want to kiss vanessa 238 on her forehead gently.
sorry to you. and i am going to go to sleep right now.



nessa238
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16 Mar 2013, 8:53 am

b9 wrote:
i must say that even though my feet are mirror images of each other, they are not "back to front",
whatever, ti is very late and i want to kiss vanessa 238 on her forehead gently.
sorry to you. and i am going to go to sleep right now.


:)

Thanks

Have a good sleep



Brisingr
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16 Mar 2013, 9:01 am

I'm not great with the social ques of being quiet or knowing when not to say something .

For example last Christmas I was at a friend's house and her mom ,in front of her 7 year old daughter, ask me what I was getting for Christmas.I went on saying what I was getting then said that basically Santa wasn't real to this kid and her mom was ,the whole time, shaking her head to tell me to stop but I got the signal a bit to late.Like a week late when I was at home thinking over why they reacted so badly to what I had said :P



b9
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16 Mar 2013, 10:03 am

hyperlexian wrote:
b9 wrote:
i hope hyperlexian that i am not in your cross hairs. i have no idea whether i have been a good person with my posts in this thread.

no, you have not broken any rules here. and it looks like you and nessa238 have reached some common ground.

thank-you for not killing either of us.



bluecurry
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16 Mar 2013, 10:16 am

Brisingr wrote:
but I got the signal a bit to late.Like a week late when I was at home thinking over why they reacted so badly to what I had said :P


This is my life exactly. Weeks late, or even years, I begin to understand. But by then it's far too late to do anything about it.

In all honesty, a person should be wary about hearing about their quirks from others and automatically assuming it as fact. Not everyone is honest and some people point out things but hold others to themselves. I often hear what people have to say, but then watch my own behaviour and reflect in an attempt to reach a conclusion on my own.



Moondust
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17 Mar 2013, 3:04 pm

f**k society and their cues. You want the pleasure of relating to me, you drop all the nicey-nice double meanings and mind games and have some honest, intelligent conversation. The day I came to this conclusion, I became FREE. Feels like I spent 50 years in prison.


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Chloe33
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03 Apr 2013, 3:55 pm

I agree with Moondust!

However the few times i deal with humans what i don't get is that when they aren't interested. Sometimes i can't read their faces at all.
Small talk blah i hate that.
I like blunt people who tell it how it is. That's real.



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03 Apr 2013, 4:22 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
alakazaam wrote:
Explain a situation of a social cue that you didn't catch? How did everybody react?

i don't smile very often, apparently. i've been told this by students, coworkers, partners, friends, etc. it most recently happened at at tour of a potential workplace along with 5 other people. the tour guide/team leader stopped what he was saying midsentence in he tour and said to me outright in front of everyone, "you don't smile very much." i didn't know i was supposed to smile on a tour of a job site. 8O

but i laugh a lot, so i guess it seems weird that i don't smile when i am supposed to.


Kids used to tell me in high school to smile and at work, I would get asked what is wrong and that would peeve me and irritate me and Mom would suggest maybe I don't have a smile on my face. Now I don't get that anymore so I must be smiling now.


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League_Girl
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03 Apr 2013, 4:30 pm

Brisingr wrote:
I'm not great with the social ques of being quiet or knowing when not to say something .

For example last Christmas I was at a friend's house and her mom ,in front of her 7 year old daughter, ask me what I was getting for Christmas.I went on saying what I was getting then said that basically Santa wasn't real to this kid and her mom was ,the whole time, shaking her head to tell me to stop but I got the signal a bit to late.Like a week late when I was at home thinking over why they reacted so badly to what I had said :P


Is shaking your head a social cue to tell you to stop talking?

I have noticed people shake their heads and it was always a random thing people did I thought. I know some people do it when they think another person is stupid like they witness someone do something dumb so they shake their heads about it. That is something I learned in middle school while I was watching a Disney movie and I asked why did Joe shake his head and my parents said the driver was dumb so the gorilla shook his head about it.


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Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.


CuppaTea
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03 Apr 2013, 4:35 pm

I'm really bad at the "I'm bored. Stop talking" cue. I still don't know what it looks like.



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03 Apr 2013, 4:41 pm

From what I'm told, I:

Have a blank expression/don't smile enough.
Don't know when it's time to change the subject (actually, sometimes I can feel that I should change the subject but I can't - I have a compulsion to finish my thought.)
Don't always respond when spoken to (I don't always notice, or know how to respond).
Sometimes say something inappropriate for the situation/company.
Am mean and snarky - usually when I'm trying to be funny.