I hate being called by my name

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I hate being called my name, too.

I think I may have posted this before.

I think it's interesting that I can't call people by their names, but I can refer to them by their name, and I hate when people call me by my name, but I don't mind being referred to by my name.

I do not hate being called by my name, I just need time to process to recognize that someone has called my name (I have no visual image for it) and that I have to respond to it, meaning that when I hear the name to make a connection first to self and from self a connection to the person who said it.

Don't have that myself. I love my name.
The general public call me Ezra or Ez trying for a nickname.
But the people closest to me call me Shea, which is my middle name and family nickname.
Whenever I hear 'Shea' it gives me a nice feeling inside.

I do this sometimes too; most of the time when someone asks for my name I have to pause and think about it for a second.

This just reminded me of something I saw recently. A client of mine was dealing with her small daughter, who is three or four years old. The daughter was having a bit of a difficult morning, tearful and non-cooperative, and then she wouldn't let another child play with one of her toys.

The mother squatted down and started saying "Amy! Amy! We share in this house! Amy? Amy?" looking her in the eyes to try to engage her and impress the lesson on her. Although she wasn't speaking angrily or shouting, she WAS very emphatic and expressing shock and of course a certain amount of disapproval of the child's behavior.

The poor kid started saying "Don't say 'AMY'! Don't say 'AMY'! Don't say 'Amy'!"

It's funny but I SOOOOO related to wanting to tell a person to stop saying my name when unhappy with me!

I knew it felt like an attack (mildly) to the child because her own name was being repeated by a stern parent unhappy with a behavior.

It leads me to wonder if parents and teachers should be sparing about using a child's name under these circumstances (anger, lesson-teaching, disapproval of an action) --- and not just AS children but any child? It does start to make one's own name feel like a "telling off." I'm 52, had this as a child, and my own name STILL makes me wince when said under certain circumstances.

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I've had so many nicknames in my life, that I actually think in my old nickname from when I was younger, and I am surprised when I get called by my actual name.

Another fascinating topic. I have always strived to be “invisible”. I didn’t’ want others to notice me. Possibly because they’d realize just how strange I was. When they use my name, I lose that invisibility.

Actually I dislike it when people don't use my name. I dislike every nickname, but I don't tell people that it bothers me - must be one of those 'learned' things.

I don't mind people calling me by my name, if anything it makes me feel more included or appreciated (assuming its used in a positive/neutral sense of course).

While other people can sometimes call me by my name though when greeting and such, I just can't get myself to do the same to other people. While they may say "Hi *my name*", I can only say "Hi" without any name. I don't know exactly why other than that it just feels very awkward, and when thinking about trying to do it it feels like my tongue twists in my mouth.

Thank you for saying this. I hadn't thought of it that way but this puts very succinctly why it bothers me to hear my name.

I hate the sound of my name and the way it looks when it is spelled the way it is on my birth certificate and passport. I usually change the ending from 'y' to 'ie', which makes it look much more feminine. I don't even really like Kel, but it's not clear what it's actually short for. Keli is more feminine and my (ex) fiance used to call me that and said I suit it. Smile

My real annoyance is with my surname. I was originally just called my dad's surname, then after my mum passed it was changed to her surname too. My dad's surname is so boring and reminds me of a farmer and my mum's surname reminds me of tobacco and is very odd, but not in a desirable way. I usually fib when I people ask about my surname now, but the truth is that I changed my name by deed poll to my ex boyfriend's which I'm horribly embarrassed about. I am either considering reverting to just my dad's surname, or using the surname of my fiance, who passed away. My youngest daughter has his surname. Anyway, I'm definitely changing the spelling of my forename, which will annoy my daddy! Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

I used to hate my nickname because it was too short and only had one syllable and I felt it gave me bad luck so that was the reason for my difference. Now I don't mind it.

This invisibility thing is somewhat of a paradox (if that’s the correct term).

When I was younger, I used to want to develop relationships with others (though, not so much anymore). Yet, I knew that if people approached me, they would walk away uninterested (either because of my social awkwardness or because, as a human being, I wasn’t that interesting of a person).

As such, if I am invisible, I won’t be approached. And, won’t have to go through the painful rejection process. It also means I won't create develop these relationships (as I rarely approach others).

It’s amazing how a simple question about being called your name, leads to other very deep thoughts. I love this place.

League_Girl - I just noticed your new avatar. Are congratulations in order? If so, congratulations.

Growing up, I always thought it weird that I had an aunt and uncle (sister and brother who lived together) who would never, ever refer to any of their 4 siblings by name. My mom was "your mother", another was "(name of niece's) father", their childless sister and brother-in-law were "those two", and so on. Even in person, they'd never address any of their siblings (or anyone else for that matter) by name.

Looking back, with the benefit of what I now know, they were both low-functioning autistic, and I've learned that it's a very common autistic trait.

It's not one that I have, though.

I simply hate anything associated with my name. I have been bullied throughout my life with it.
People misuse it, mispronounce it, etc.
I have taken to shutting up so people won't use it.