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Are there any aspies out there who hate themselves?

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mr_bigmouth_502
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15 Jan 2017, 3:20 am

Starfoxx wrote:
It's not useful to hate yourself

Who ever said it was?


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Starfoxx
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15 Jan 2017, 6:30 am

I'm not sure why someone would hate themselves when it's not useful? If you hate yourself you must in a way like it because people avoid what they don't like by nature.



mr_bigmouth_502
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15 Jan 2017, 7:19 am

Starfoxx wrote:
I'm not sure why someone would hate themselves when it's not useful? If you hate yourself you must in a way like it because people avoid what they don't like by nature.

People do all sorts of things that are self destructive and self-sabotaging, and not everyone lives by strict logic. I'm actually a very emotional person, and it pisses me off when people insist that aspies are all logic with no emotions. If I were all logic and no emotions, odds are that I'd be doing a lot better in life, and I wouldn't hate myself.


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15 Jan 2017, 7:33 am

Some do, some don't. It's best to accept yourself as you are if you can't change yourself. But for some this is more difficult than it is for others.



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15 Jan 2017, 7:50 am

Starfoxx wrote:
If you hate yourself you must in a way like it because people avoid what they don't like by nature.


Let us assume that it is true that all people will always avoid that which they don't like. These are the options that are open to self-loathers:

1. They like hating themselves and will continue to do so
2. They dislike hating themselves and so, to avoid this emotion, they will
2.1 Stop being themselves ie, they will attempt to change the things that they dislike about themselves
2.2 Stop hating themselves, ie, they will attempt to learn to accept the things they dislike about themselves
2.3 Stop co-existing with themselves - ie, they will attempt to end their existence

Let us assume that it is not true that all people will always avoid that which they don't like. The statement allows for the possibilities that: a) some people will always avoid that which they don't like, b) some people will sometimes avoid that which they don't like and c) all people will sometimes avoid that which they don't like.

If this is true, these are the options that are open to self-loathers:

1. They like hating themselves and will continue to do so
2. They dislike hating themselves and so, to avoid this emotion, they will
2.1 Stop being themselves ie, they will attempt to change the things that they dislike about themselves
2.2 Stop hating themselves, ie, they will attempt to learn to accept the things they dislike about themselves
2.3 Stop co-existing with themselves - ie, they will attempt to end their existence
3. They will, at different points in their lives, both dislike and like hating themselves and, consequently, engage in one or more of the activities 2.1, 2.2 and 2.3
4. They dislike hating themselves but will continue to hate themselves anyway

My experience has been very confusing. Sometimes I enjoy wallowing in self-loathing. At other times I loath myself for loathing myself. At other times I attempt to stop loathing myself and may succeed for a time. It follows that either all people or some people will sometimes avoid that which they don't like. Either this is true or you and I disagree on the meaning of the word "like".

I will now attempt to prove that I don't exist.



IstominFan
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15 Jan 2017, 10:16 am

Five years ago, I really hated myself. I felt like a complete failure.

Today, the situation is much different. I am much more active and love my life. I still get frustrated with myself when I don't make adequate forward progress. I have already been making small steps forward this year and hope things really begin to come together.



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15 Jan 2017, 10:55 am

I can't hate what truly does not exists. :lol:


Do I hate myself? I never did. Not even with the flaws, the mistakes, the failures...
Do I hate my autistic self? Not even at my worst years.
Do I hate my physical self? Not even once. At worst it's just allergies. I'm not as needy nor as sickly, and I could care less about appearances, so...
Do I hate my human self? Not really. Annoying as it is contradictory and indecisive, I don't truly hate it.


But I never had been proud of myself nor had truly loved myself either.

I think self-annoyance or self-apathy or perhaps self-frustration suits me better than self-hate or self-loath or even self-pity.


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15 Jan 2017, 12:54 pm

I used to despise myself, but it's eased up as I've gotten older. I actually like myself now, which I could not have foreseen.



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15 Jan 2017, 1:21 pm

There have been times in my life when I have hated myself and wished that I had never been born. Thankfully, I am not having these type of thoughts presently.



Joe90
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15 Jan 2017, 1:23 pm

I've always hated myself. I don't so much now since I've been in a relationship, but I do still get frustrated with myself. Whenever I get someone upset me, I always blame myself for being socially awkward. Or if something out the blue shows me up in public, I get angry at myself for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, even though it's not my fault.

I think my social awkwardness makes me hate myself the most. Like when I was on a work experience at a preschool, I was so terribly shy with the children. I was too passive, too nervous and just couldn't bring myself to speak louder or be more authoritative, no matter how hard I tried. I was afraid of being too confrontational. If a child was misbehaving, like snatching toys out of other children's hands or something, I would just stand there nervously. I knew it was the cue to tell the child not to do that, but I was too nervous to speak up. So I just nervously looked at one of the staff there and hoped that they would deal with the behaviour so I didn't have to.

These sorts of things make me hate myself. I mean, why the f**k am I so afraid of talking to little kids?


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16 Jan 2017, 1:27 am

MoatsArt wrote:
Starfoxx wrote:
If you hate yourself you must in a way like it because people avoid what they don't like by nature.


Let us assume that it is true that all people will always avoid that which they don't like. These are the options that are open to self-loathers:

1. They like hating themselves and will continue to do so
2. They dislike hating themselves and so, to avoid this emotion, they will
2.1 Stop being themselves ie, they will attempt to change the things that they dislike about themselves
2.2 Stop hating themselves, ie, they will attempt to learn to accept the things they dislike about themselves
2.3 Stop co-existing with themselves - ie, they will attempt to end their existence

Let us assume that it is not true that all people will always avoid that which they don't like. The statement allows for the possibilities that: a) some people will always avoid that which they don't like, b) some people will sometimes avoid that which they don't like and c) all people will sometimes avoid that which they don't like.

If this is true, these are the options that are open to self-loathers:

1. They like hating themselves and will continue to do so
2. They dislike hating themselves and so, to avoid this emotion, they will
2.1 Stop being themselves ie, they will attempt to change the things that they dislike about themselves
2.2 Stop hating themselves, ie, they will attempt to learn to accept the things they dislike about themselves
2.3 Stop co-existing with themselves - ie, they will attempt to end their existence
3. They will, at different points in their lives, both dislike and like hating themselves and, consequently, engage in one or more of the activities 2.1, 2.2 and 2.3
4. They dislike hating themselves but will continue to hate themselves anyway

My experience has been very confusing. Sometimes I enjoy wallowing in self-loathing. At other times I loath myself for loathing myself. At other times I attempt to stop loathing myself and may succeed for a time. It follows that either all people or some people will sometimes avoid that which they don't like. Either this is true or you and I disagree on the meaning of the word "like".

I will now attempt to prove that I don't exist.


You sound like my philosophy teacher from last semester. Anyways, "hate yourself" is such an understatement. I wish all the time for an oppurtunity to change myself if I can. I always cringed when I imagined myself among people because I know they are aware of my differences, no matter how hard I try to hide them. I always struggled speaking or with being social so lately I've been trying to get away from this awkward loner side of myself but at the same time, I want to explore it more and maybe accept it just a little.


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16 Jan 2017, 10:10 am

I'm not going to call anyone out, but some of my favorite WP members are posting in this thread. Like SEVERAL of ya'll. :(

You guys should try to remember when you hate yourself that someone out there thinks you're really cool. I don't know if that helps. There have been many times that I wished I could just turn around the way I saw people and let them see themselves that way. They might have been kinder to themselves.



Ashariel
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16 Jan 2017, 10:29 am

I have moments, maybe 1% of the time I think I'm the most socially inept person in the universe, and it feels awful. But 99% of the time I just accept that I'm not a genius at socializing, and it's okay.



lostonearth35
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16 Jan 2017, 10:56 am

Sometimes yes, I do hate myself. I've said and done things I'm not proud of, and deep down I think I might be a narcissistic psychopath. I think the real reason I didn't finish high school, have a real job or drive a car is because I'm lazy, selfish and unmotivated and rely on my parents to take care of my financial and transportation needs. I'm morbidly obese and ugly. Sometimes I think if I say or believe anything positive about myself I'm bragging, and that is incredibly wrong. People have told me I'm too hard on myself, but there are so many other people who never feel bad for acting stupid, so I have to make up for that, or something...



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16 Jan 2017, 1:02 pm

I don't see any point in hating myself.


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SocOfAutism
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16 Jan 2017, 3:25 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
Sometimes yes, I do hate myself. I've said and done things I'm not proud of, and deep down I think I might be a narcissistic psychopath. I think the real reason I didn't finish high school, have a real job or drive a car is because I'm lazy, selfish and unmotivated and rely on my parents to take care of my financial and transportation needs. I'm morbidly obese and ugly. Sometimes I think if I say or believe anything positive about myself I'm bragging, and that is incredibly wrong. People have told me I'm too hard on myself, but there are so many other people who never feel bad for acting stupid, so I have to make up for that, or something...


What you're saying doesn't make sense though. If you were truly lazy and selfish and whatnot, you would feel GREAT about yourself. You'd be proud of being slothful, proud of any extra weight, pleased to get out of things- you know?

Sometimes things that are simple for some people are incredibly hard for other people. I'm sure there are things that are easy for you that other people can't do. It's easy to get wrapped up in what you wish was different, and forget what's going well.