My special interests are often all that keeps me going, I get very depressed during any time between interests. Can’t say they’re entirely good things, though, in my case. I love anything supernatural/paranormal/unnatural, with a particular emphasis on body horror - not always the best topic to bring up
On occasion I even get special interests I don’t even like, for example I feel like I have to know everything there is to know about a particular movie I have never seen and never want to see, or I feel the need to listen to songs by a particular band, even if I don’t actually like them, and can even narrow down to one song I don’t like. And I’ll have no clue why my brain decided to fixate on the thing in question. Fortunately this kind doesn’t usually last for more than a week or so. I do find it very intriguing that this happens and really wonder why. I try not to mention this kind of obsession around anyone who doesn’t know about my autism because they will not understand that even though I’m fixated on it, I really wish I wasn’t, but can’t seem to do anything about it.
I have to really fight myself to control my reactions to any particular interest I have (even the ones I don’t actually like get my attention). Can’t stop my left hand from flapping a bit at first because that really seems like a reflex, but I have to force myself not to do things like butt into other people’s conversations because one of my special interests came up (something I would never do if it weren’t for the influence of obsession, I have extreme social phobia and also selective mutism, but mention one of my “trigger topics” (“trigger” being a good thing, to me, in this case) and suddenly all that goes completely out the window and I start going on and on and on, very enthusiastically, if I don’t make a conscious effort to restrain myself.).
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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"