Have people insisted you're faking ASD?

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Have any of my fellow autists dealt with NTs accusing them of faking their mannerisms and manifestations because "it's impossible that any human could be this way" or something of the sort?

I can tell you I've gotten it maybe three times that I can recall, two of them pre-diagnosis and one of them post...by a former boss who was basically a narcissistic gaslighter: she even told me that it didn't make sense that I was like this because I came from the same culture as "everyone else", I was born here, so why does it seem like I'm from a different culture yadda yadda yadda...and this is after I told her about my ASD diagnosis!

I also got it a couple of times in my early 20s, during those "volatile" years where somebody took offense to something I'd said where - of course - no offense was intended at all and I didn't even think of how it could be misconstrued as such (story of our life, isn't it?) So I got accused of, well, basically being a normal guy who was deliberately putting on this fake mentally deranged persona as a "get out of jail free" card. It was basically a case of solipsism, where that person's view and interpretation of the world and all people in it was the only correct one.

I seem to recall a dialogue on the matter going something like this:
THEM: "Come on. You're just f***ing around with me. There's NO WAY that any person could be like this, not notice obvious signs of bla bla bla, and not know that such-and-such is inappropriate in that context..."
ME: "No, it's for real - this is just how my brain is wired, it's how I think, there's nothing contrived about it."
THEM: "Ahh, nooo, I don't think so...I think that's what you want other people to believe."
ME: "But WHY??"
THEM: "Because I think you like to get attention. You're a loser, and this is the only way you know how to get attention."
ME: "But what if I'm not motivated by that kind of attention? What would you conclude THEN??"
THEM: (blank look, not knowing what to say)

Not something I could relate -- despite being:

- Officially diagnosed at 14. Technically late.
- On passing mainstream educational settings without any academic aides, making it in college level.
- People remarking that I'd be an honor roll if I take it seriously.
- On par with age appropriate developmental adaptive daily living.
- Can "pass" enough in public.


Because I:

- Don't mask. Not that I can't, I just don't. Also don't mistake not-masking for not-inhibiting pr masking means not-impulsive.
- Do not maintain any pro-NT mask.
- Has more than unnecessary amount of emotional dysregulation until recently.
- Never voluntarily strove to pass as NT.
- Never bullied or coerced to pass as NT.
- Never pressured nor persuaded to pass as NT.



But sure.
People still project or assumes.

Not because of autism and autistic traits, but because of executive dysfunction issues that are preventable and I'm quite closer to solving myself more and more recently...

Like moments of impulsivity from onlookers for example -- that's not even in my nature let alone how my brain is actually wired.

But it's a sign that I'm dysregulated, overwhelmed and confused or even ill because of that damn gap between my intentions and it's reasoning, and the timing (or plans/sequences/etc.) and it's immediate (timely) action...


Everything I do while dysregulated has too many assumptions upon it.

"Emotional Dysregulation" is not a part of my wiring.
Sensory dysregulation can be, overthinking can be, overwhelmed by my own body can be... Everything negative but still makes sense to me is a part of my wiring.

But not the emotionality. That doesn't make sense to me.
Because it's a sign that's something is deeply wrong with me with it. And I was right.


I got remarks, not by discounting autism, but assuming my intentions and motivations behind whatever decision I made under emotional dysregulation.

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I've never been accused of faking ASD. About the only time the word autism has ever been mentioned by anyone to me in person was my mom who believes I'm autistic & didn't mention it to me till after I graduated high-school & by my medical & psych professions, people who are supposed to provide services related to autism, & by my current girlfriend & also my last ex but both girlfriends are also on the spectrum & we met on this forum.

I don't bring autism up with anyone offline because in my experience the so-called 'experts' believe autistics are all lower functioning. When I was officially tested for autism at 20 & also a couple years later I was sort of evaluated by a different professional, I was told that I communicated too well verbally & seemed to intelligent to have anything on the autism spectrum & they were hung-up on the fact that I had a high-school diploma. I went to a Catholic high-school that my parents paid money for me to go to & it did not do federal standardized testing. I had accommodations in school because I also have dyslexia & I only passed some classes because my teachers curved my grade. Those experts thought I had some major issues but they believed those were unrelated to autism. I think they kind of got my causes & effects mixed up & thought my poor social skills are due to being disabled in other ways & keeping to myself.

My mom has accused me of being lazy & exaggerating a bit of my issues to put it very nicely. She believed I could do better in school, be a lot more independent, & find decent employment if I was willing to try harder. My mom didn't have any mental or physical disabilities. She was the teacher's pet in school & her & dad were very poor when they first got married but gradually got to lower-middle class by both working very hard. They're both salt of the earth types. My mom couldn't relate to being disabled or fully grasp how things are different for my generation. Her & dad refused to allow me to drop out of high-school insisting that having a high-school diploma would majorly help my job opportunities. However almost no job apps I filled out ever asked about having a high-school diploma or GED. About the only time I saw schooling listed on job apps was asking about college or vocational type training.

Looking back my mom probably had a very valid point about me needing to try harder but lots of times I've tried hard & failed & ended up accomplishing nothing at best. & at worst I majorly inconvenienced my parents for a bit & cost them a bit of money & I had to hear my mom grip about that on top of burning myself out & reaching my meltdown limit. I'm pretty sure I have a bit or a lot of learned helplessness. It's difficult to figure out where to apply myself & how to go about it in a way that I can realistically have improvement.

Various people including some authority figures like my teachers, principles, & my mom, & also my peers have assumed I was intentionally being disruptive or being mean when we had misunderstandings or I was at my meltdown limit.

Never to my face.