How do you deal with frustration?

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This is becoming a serious issue for me. I've finished college 2 months ago and I am really struggling to get my first job or even just an internship. After interviews, I generally receive positive feedback concerning my technical skills... Still, all I got so far were rejections after rejections.
At home (I still live with my parents) things are not better... It feels like I have (involuntarily) built a brick-wall separating us apart. Communication between us is a real problem (there is almost no communication at all). I also feel that I am losing the few friends I made in the university.

I know that everyone feels more frustrated in some point of life. But how do you deal and overcome it? I simply keep on losing hope, motivation, and self-esteem. Whenever anything goes wrong, I just lock myself in my room for days reading books or building imaginary cities on my desk with staples and monopoly pieces.

How do I get myself out of this negativism cycle?
(Sorry for any english mistake)

OMG, that is one of the most magnificent avatars I have ever seen.

If I get really frustrated I tend to have a meltdown. But I find that physical activity, particularly a sport like cycling or skiing is really fantastic for me to help me with frustration. It's very calming to me and helps me regroup and focus again. Also if I do a workout video that really helps me too. Listening to my favorite music in the dark and pacing and dancing to it helps me a lot too.

Best of luck with your job search. It's tough out there but hang in there, something will come.

I do have meltdowns as well sometimes. But they are a "temporary" reaction, at the heat of the moment. They eventually fade away. The thing is that demotivation doesn't...
Thanks for your advice...

You are welcome.
De motivation is hard and it gets harder with each rejection. Musicians and actors go through that rejection thing a lot especially at first. But you have to believe that it will come. And two months really is not very long especially in this economy. Take it one day at a time and know that each day is a new day with new opportunities. And you may need to start with a job that is not exactly what you are looking for at first. I know I did. My first job was working in an ice cream shop. It wasn't my dream job but it got me started and I loved it and did great and the actual job experience got me other jobs. But don't think of it as a bad thing if you have to do that. Every job is honorable and any job is a good job if you don't already have one.

depending on the cause of the frustration, perhaps something else ending with ion.
It could be finding motivation, it could be racking my brain for intuition, it could be ambition, it could be deprivation.
Often it may be communication, finding a destination, or conversation.
If all else fails there's another one that begins with m, but that's a very private solo thing.

When frustrated, I bear down on my special interest(s). Fortunately, this is creative activity. Even when "uninspired" I push through w/ small projects, minor goals. The point is completion. Small successes can build confidence for larger ones. Maybe rewrite resume, check grammar, tighten sentences, get something to the place where you can see a perfection originate from your hand. Then you're getting armed.

I go for a run or masturbate, the two are mutually exclusive so it's one or the other for me. Edit: I'm not a prolific runner.

Last edited by Mr_Nice on 12 Aug 2013, 6:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

Running is good

I guess you are right!

Poor multi tasking skills, eh?

Yep That's how they knew for sure i had AS, The old failure to w*k and run test.

I rarely get frustrated. It can happen, but they aren't common.

I used to work with one guy who was a real twit. He would say something stupid and I could get quite frustrated trying to explain reality to him. One example involved the municipal courts. He was convinced that any decision by a municipal court would automagically set a precedent applying to all other courts in the state. Of course, municipal courts cannot set precedents -- their decisions are never binding on any other courts, even in the same municipality.

But for most things, though, I don't feel much frustration. Faced with a problem, I start working to fix the problem. If I don't get it fixed quickly, I just keep working without feeling frustrated by it.

I have a relative who is very different. If he doesn't fix the problem with the first thing he tries, he gets frustrated really quick. He doesn't have the patience to just work on it until he fixes it. He is incredibly intelligent, but I usually don't appreciate working with him.

I deal with frustration many times a day. People get under my skin.

As Pete Quaife of The Kinks once said, "I am a frustrated Mod."

Look for a Wall ....Bang your Head..

Maestro Raskolnikov_k,

Crime and punishment, hey?
Your post is nicely inline with your username

My best, most honest answer is: it's complicated and individual to each of us.
I've gone through fases;
* When I was young (10-20): I did as most us us bottled it up and exploded at irregular times. -> Having a perpetual cycle of growing frustration to deal with.
* Getting a bit older (20-30): My therapist at the time showed me an approach that seemed to stick with me; seeing each big or small frustration as a battery recharge; I.e. every time I felt frustrated I did not try and repress the frustration, I only tried to use the 'energy' in a constructive manner to my direct goals.
* first gray hairs appear(30-40): I learned that there is no ideal approach, aside from not having the sentiment fester inside of me. I learned that we cannot control what we feel but we can control how we let this feeling affect us. And as with many ASD peers I have an easer time managing anything if I can put it into words -> I feel a frustration, I do not block the feeling or deny it, I attend to it immediately, but not in the sense that I frown or act out, I attend to it in that I calmly acknowledge the feeling, gently ask myself what would be needed for me to cause such a 'frustration' in someone else? having the double effect that I see that I could be having this impact (with proper motivation) and that I talked myself through the frustration, making similar less frequent in the future.
* Now (40-...): I just try my best

kind regards,
Kada