What is it like meeting another aspie?

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PlatedDrake
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05 Feb 2010, 10:26 am

Like Zeichner, i also didnt meet many in the spectrum until last year. One of them seemed to be a LOT like a uncle of mine (we know now he had AS, but he died before getting a DX . . . or even knowing he had it), two were semi-talkative until the "interest" came up, and another was extremely quiet because his sensory issue is a bit more apparent. They're like me, yet theyre not was my impression. I do enjoy meeting them, but we dont do much outside of those meeting given that we live a fair distance away from each other (20-50 min travel time). Wish i could find some a bit more local.



MONKEY
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05 Feb 2010, 10:43 am

When I've met others with ASD's it's usually a good experience even if I'm not particularly close to the person, I feel a sense of familiarity like I've known them forever. It's like being part of a secret club and I can almost imagine going up to them and using a secret code word and suddenly there's some handshake there is on kids programmes lol.
I have a few friends on the spec, 1 autie and 2 aspies and we really connect with eachother.


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Kajak
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05 Feb 2010, 11:14 am

It depends on their age and how fully they understand their "aspie-ness". Typically it always turns into a master-apprentice type situation. When I meet younger aspies, or people who are just starting to understand what being an aspie means I play master. When I meet and older aspie (or a parent who has an older aspie child) I generally end up apprentice.

Of course it's all dependent on personalities, but I generally find that's how most aspie encounters go. Of course this is just a "first time" kind of thing.



lotuspuppy
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05 Feb 2010, 11:26 am

I've actually met several Aspies, all but one of them men. It is initially awkward, until you both figure out that you want to do away with small talk and pleasantries and get to a meaty conversation. I've had some of the most rewarding conversations with Aspies than I have ever had.

That being said, Aspies are as different from each other as anyone else is. Some are total jerks, some are exceptionally sweet, etc.



Magicfly
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05 Feb 2010, 12:19 pm

I'm a member of my local NAS social group so every month a bunch of us meet up for an activity which is great!

Anyway, there's a whole range of us there, some of the guys are quite quiet, some of us are rambunctious, but the thing that strikes me the most about meeting other ASD is that everyone is so sincere, and means what they say, so I can forget having to put on my 'mask' for a few hours and just enjoy myself in the company of people with a similar perspective to myself.



mechanicalgirl39
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05 Feb 2010, 6:56 pm

I've met a handful of other ASDers in real life. All of them I really liked and got on well with - except one.

He was a guy my age who I met randomly and went on a date with. He initially seemed cool but he was a goddamn freak and I don't mean freak as in "weird clothes, long words, heroiny eyes from sitting at a computer under hyperfocus for twelve hours..." I don't mean freak in a good or harmless way. He had this obsession with controlling girls/women and at one point he grabbed me in a lock with my hands behind my back. Luckily for me he was fairly thin and weak for a male and I yanked my hands loose. He also tried to do...uh...sexual stuff to me IN A PLAYGROUND WHERE KIDS WERE PLAYING IN CLEAR SIGHT OF US. He tried that several times and only gave up because I gave out to him in a very harsh tone and told him he was a pervert.

I told him I didn't want to go out with him again and he wouldn't accept it. He followed me all the time, even after I'd thrown a rage fit at him in front of the entire main college hall full of people and yelled at him and called him a variety of vile names. He only backed off when I threatened to tell the principal.


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superboyian
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05 Feb 2010, 7:15 pm

I was in a school full of them as I was in special ed... I'd never thought that they were, but the only problem was that most of them had classic autism.... Mostly Severe to Moderate and my friends at school was obviously aspies. :)

So I'm pretty much used to the environment so I won't feel uncomfortable and plus it feels more comfortable for me compared to meeting normal people but it is cool both ways :D


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ursaminor
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05 Feb 2010, 7:19 pm

superboyian wrote:
I was in a school full of them as I was in special ed... I'd never thought that they were, but the only problem was that most of them had classic autism.... Mostly Severe to Moderate and my friends at school was obviously aspies. :)

So I'm pretty much used to the environment so I won't feel uncomfortable and plus it feels more comfortable for me compared to meeting normal people but it is cool both ways :D
The situation is the same for me. It is much nicer to communicate with autistics for me.



Philologos
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06 Feb 2010, 1:17 am

The first exposure I was aware of was in the UK - pretty classic autistic youngsters, my ex was doing a special ed degree. A little surprised that those I saw did not match the stereotype going around the grapevine.

Later read TempleGrandin - noticed tome intriguing similarities. Then found out about Asperger's, and started to say wait a minute - some of this sounds a lot like me. LATER I realized - a lot of this very recent - I, my wife, our son, and a list of people from years back who strangely WORKED with me, all come into the picture.

So - it was very strange in the 70s to meet M and realize, hah, here is a person, who knows I am a person and we know who those persons are. I wish now I had been introduced to the children in the British program as actually people, not me as visiting them as spectator.



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06 Feb 2010, 1:29 am

The replies so far have been very helpfull to me, as next month I'll be joining a program that helps people on the spectrum with finding a steady job. It'll be the first time I'll ever come face to face with another person on the spectrum (several people actually, as it's in groups) and I'm not entirely sure what to expect.


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06 Feb 2010, 1:54 am

I come family full of people on the spectrum - my mother had six children and half of them were on the spectrum, including me. My siblings are ok, annoying at times with their clumsiness and rigidity. There is one person I know from the Tourette's support group is on the spectrum and honestly, it irks e being around with him. Mostly because it causes me to cringe at every misstep he is making - probably related to how everything I did was either criticised, scolded or more often at school, I was beat up for it. Meeting him for the second time was easier for me.

There are other people who I suspect lie somewhere on the sub-clinical level of the spectrum who I've gotten along with.

There are some autistics that I know are about the community but I've never introduced myself to them or talked with them.


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LipstickKiller
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06 Feb 2010, 6:28 am

I've met a couple of people I later found out had AS. One was at a camp, she was the only one to be left out more than me. I tried to avoid her, not because she was unpopular but because she would follow people around but she never had anything to say and she never seemed to understand anything but the most simple discussions. She didn't want to do anything either. I felt really sorry for her, because I could see she was sad, but I was in no shape to help her. Anyway, it seems wrong to hang out with someone you can't tolerate just out of pity. At the same time I felt guilty, because even though I didn't know she had AS and certainly didn't know I myself had it, I still felt we struggled in the same way, but she was too slow to achieve the moderate success I could. It felt like betrayal.

I've met kids with AS and autism after my son was diagnosed. Some of them seem very alien to me, and others are like a blast to the past, I can see myself in them. I wish I'd know AS-kids when I was younger, it would have made the world make a little more sense.

I saw someone's 17-year old daughter this summer and when I saw her I thought AS, because not only did she dress and make her self up the same way I used to, she had the same akward way of looking out of place. Found out later she has AS.

I wonder if there will be subgroups of autistic personalities in the future.



mgran
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06 Feb 2010, 6:32 am

My first husband was on the spectrum, and one of the reasons we clicked so well was that we could communicate at a much deeper level than most people. Of course, neither of us knew at the time that we were on the spectrum, so meltdowns and panic attacks became an issue, and we split up eventually. But meeting others on the spectrum can be very refreshing. When I was at uni most of the people I knocked around with were on the spectrum.



LipstickKiller
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06 Feb 2010, 6:38 am

Forgot to say: I've met some people with ADHD that I got a long splendidly with, maybe because I can be a little passive and they're so full of initiative. Or more likely because for whatever reason they didn't think I was so weird. I guess only proper NT's think I'm weird and give me alienating looks.

I'm acquainted with a couple of bipolar people and they also seem more accepting.



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06 Feb 2010, 7:07 am

LipstickKiller wrote:
Forgot to say: I've met some people with ADHD that I got a long splendidly with, maybe because I can be a little passive and they're so full of initiative. Or more likely because for whatever reason they didn't think I was so weird. I guess only proper NT's think I'm weird and give me alienating looks.

I'm acquainted with a couple of bipolar people and they also seem more accepting.


Oh, I've met some ADHD people, and gotten along. Particularly this one guy I met last summer who I'd gone to school with when I was little. We clicked instantly. Unfortunately after he got weird and shouted "I LOVE YOU" In a public place after one day of meeting him, we didn't click so well. :lol:



bdhkhsfgk
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06 Feb 2010, 7:30 am

It's nothing special, we often hang out and have fun together.