swansong wrote:
I find this question difficult to answer for multiple reasons:
1) I don't know what it's like to not be aspergers or autistic, so I wouldn't know the difference.
2) Maybe a few of my wierd personality traits aren't from autism/aspergers. They could just be idiosyncratic preferences that ALL people have.
3) I could have many personality traits that "normal people" have without knowing.
4) I'm only one case of aspergers/autism, I cannot speak for others.
What do you think of that question?
Whereas this would seem to be a very difficult question to answer since this is the only way we that are autistic have ever known, I can offer my opinion. Before I was diagnosed with AS, I used to wonder why I was the way I was. I analyzed this based on the way people around me seemed to operate. For the most part, people like to talk to their neighbors, hang out with friends, etc. I didn't. I had come to the conclusion that I must be the only person in the world to think/behave the way I did. So, after seeing the criteria for AS, I was amazed---it was me. I had never realized this before, but I was autistic. And a clinic confirmed it. Then, our youngest son was diagnosed with AS too. Based upon observations of the world, and analyzing myself, I can offer some thoughts.
*Socializing doesn't, and never has, felt normal for me. It isn't comfortable. I can often do ok with one on one, but when there are several people in the mix---it feels very strange. I describe it as like being inside a glass booth looking out into the social scene. I am inside the so-called glass booth, and it is challenging to communicate outside of it. Even when I have to communicate with one person for a bit of a length of time, I often feel fatigued emotionally.
*Most of the time, I am thinking about my interests. Even during work, and even while watching television, I am usually absorbed in my world of interests. I have always been that way.
*I have assumed that if I am fascinated by something, everyone is too.
*I also have the sensory issues of most autistics. And I also stim.
*I am an autistic savant (talent type). I love certain types of musical instruments. When I become fascinated with a musical instrument, I can play it without lessons and in little time. I perform on these instruments in my music ministry at local area churches. I also love roller coasters, and by the time I was in high school, I had memorized without trying the statistics of every roller coaster in North America. My explanation is that I channel a narrow focus beam into these interests and they feel like they become a part of my anatomy. Whereas non-autistic people seem to focus evenly on social, interests, etc., I feel we that are autistic tend to focus heavier on interests (if interests are present in that person).
*There are other things too, but I feel these represent a good sample of what I feel of autism in my life. Basically I can say I feel an inwardness into myself/interests. When things go on around me that take my attention away from my inwardness, I can get annoyed/challenged.
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"My journey has just begun."