"What's It Like Being Aspergers/Autistic"?

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Friskeygirl
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19 Feb 2010, 11:49 pm

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What's It Like Being Aspergers/Autistic?

Thats a very hard question, since I don't have a frame of reference on what its like to normal functioning person



justMax
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20 Feb 2010, 1:18 am

The thing that I had to realize about this question is that there IS some depth to it actually.

Most NT's are able to exercise theory of mind effortlessly, discern and react to a whole range of subtle cues, and empathize with other humans... to some extent or another.

I am not, my theory of mind involves me assuming others think like me, or are insane, my noticing subtle cues involves making them unsubtle "HEY! I just got that, you're crossing your arms and angling your body away from me... that means uh... you're not interested in what I'm saying, how fascinating!", and I identify more with cars or cats than I've ever been able to do with most people I've met.


The best answers I can think of is "It's kinda like waking up to discover you're on the wrong planet"... hence the title of the website.



AmberEyes
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20 Feb 2010, 11:48 am

I suppose it's sort of like a tourist asking a woman, who's lived in Japan all her life, what it's like to be female and Japanese.

Sticking with the same analogy, say the Japanese woman went to see a male American therapist.

The therapist would ask:
"How does it make you feel to be female and Japanese?"

This question doesn't actually solve anything because the Japanese woman has never been anyone else apart from herself, so she has no other internal mental experiences with which to compare her own. She hasn't had the impossible "privilege" of being able to perceive the world through the eyes of an American man. She has never lived anyone else's life in anyone else's mind anywhere else.



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20 Feb 2010, 1:01 pm

It is impossible to explain because I was never "un autistic". I have nothing to compare it to. When people do ask I reply, "What's it like to not be autistic?" and say they can't answer because they have never been autistic and therefore can't give a comparison. Usualy they get idea that it is the same for me or I explain it to them.


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DeaconBlues
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20 Feb 2010, 5:55 pm

Yeah, I use the same answer, only with a slightly more flippant phrasing, which seems to reduce the number of people who are going to take offense.

"What's it like to have Asperger's?"

"Frak, I dunno - what's it like to not have Asperger's?"


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JAGamma
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20 Feb 2010, 7:13 pm

"Living with Asperger's is like being a kid fresh from Germany trying to help the neighborhood kids open a lemonade stand in the US. He doesn't understand why everybody needs ice in their lemonade, and he doesn't know enough English to tell the other kids about the lemon tree in his backyard."



Last edited by JAGamma on 21 Feb 2010, 12:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Brandon-J
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20 Feb 2010, 7:34 pm

It's like looking for something in a dark room with only a flashlight


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LuxoJr
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20 Feb 2010, 7:38 pm

Similarly, I just tell them that "I can't answer that."
They almost always ask why, and I ask them what DeaconBlues said, "What's it like to NOT have aspergers?


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glider18
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20 Feb 2010, 8:44 pm

swansong wrote:
I find this question difficult to answer for multiple reasons:

1) I don't know what it's like to not be aspergers or autistic, so I wouldn't know the difference.

2) Maybe a few of my wierd personality traits aren't from autism/aspergers. They could just be idiosyncratic preferences that ALL people have.

3) I could have many personality traits that "normal people" have without knowing.

4) I'm only one case of aspergers/autism, I cannot speak for others.

What do you think of that question?


Whereas this would seem to be a very difficult question to answer since this is the only way we that are autistic have ever known, I can offer my opinion. Before I was diagnosed with AS, I used to wonder why I was the way I was. I analyzed this based on the way people around me seemed to operate. For the most part, people like to talk to their neighbors, hang out with friends, etc. I didn't. I had come to the conclusion that I must be the only person in the world to think/behave the way I did. So, after seeing the criteria for AS, I was amazed---it was me. I had never realized this before, but I was autistic. And a clinic confirmed it. Then, our youngest son was diagnosed with AS too. Based upon observations of the world, and analyzing myself, I can offer some thoughts.

*Socializing doesn't, and never has, felt normal for me. It isn't comfortable. I can often do ok with one on one, but when there are several people in the mix---it feels very strange. I describe it as like being inside a glass booth looking out into the social scene. I am inside the so-called glass booth, and it is challenging to communicate outside of it. Even when I have to communicate with one person for a bit of a length of time, I often feel fatigued emotionally.

*Most of the time, I am thinking about my interests. Even during work, and even while watching television, I am usually absorbed in my world of interests. I have always been that way.

*I have assumed that if I am fascinated by something, everyone is too.

*I also have the sensory issues of most autistics. And I also stim.

*I am an autistic savant (talent type). I love certain types of musical instruments. When I become fascinated with a musical instrument, I can play it without lessons and in little time. I perform on these instruments in my music ministry at local area churches. I also love roller coasters, and by the time I was in high school, I had memorized without trying the statistics of every roller coaster in North America. My explanation is that I channel a narrow focus beam into these interests and they feel like they become a part of my anatomy. Whereas non-autistic people seem to focus evenly on social, interests, etc., I feel we that are autistic tend to focus heavier on interests (if interests are present in that person).

*There are other things too, but I feel these represent a good sample of what I feel of autism in my life. Basically I can say I feel an inwardness into myself/interests. When things go on around me that take my attention away from my inwardness, I can get annoyed/challenged.


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justMax
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20 Feb 2010, 9:21 pm

Glider18 wrote:
Whereas this would seem to be a very difficult question to answer since this is the only way we that are autistic have ever known, I can offer my opinion. Before I was diagnosed with AS, I used to wonder why I was the way I was. I analyzed this based on the way people around me seemed to operate. For the most part, people like to talk to their neighbors, hang out with friends, etc. I didn't. I had come to the conclusion that I must be the only person in the world to think/behave the way I did. So, after seeing the criteria for AS, I was amazed---it was me. I had never realized this before, but I was autistic. And a clinic confirmed it. Then, our youngest son was diagnosed with AS too. Based upon observations of the world, and analyzing myself, I can offer some thoughts.


My experiences were virtually the same there, I figured everyone was just crazy, and dealt with life with that outlook til a few months ago when I learned what AS was.



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20 Feb 2010, 9:29 pm

glider18 wrote:
...I describe it as like being inside a glass booth looking out into the social scene. I am inside the so-called glass booth, and it is challenging to communicate outside of it...

This is exactly how I've always felt. I didn't realize my glass booth was visible to others until high school when my best friend told me I had a 'bubble' around me.



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21 Feb 2010, 12:16 am

It's like being yourself and not being phased by popular culture.


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21 Feb 2010, 2:30 am

justMax wrote:
Glider18 wrote:
Whereas this would seem to be a very difficult question to answer since this is the only way we that are autistic have ever known, I can offer my opinion. Before I was diagnosed with AS, I used to wonder why I was the way I was. I analyzed this based on the way people around me seemed to operate. For the most part, people like to talk to their neighbors, hang out with friends, etc. I didn't. I had come to the conclusion that I must be the only person in the world to think/behave the way I did. So, after seeing the criteria for AS, I was amazed---it was me. I had never realized this before, but I was autistic. And a clinic confirmed it. Then, our youngest son was diagnosed with AS too. Based upon observations of the world, and analyzing myself, I can offer some thoughts.


My experiences were virtually the same there, I figured everyone was just crazy, and dealt with life with that outlook til a few months ago when I learned what AS was.



I was the opposite. I knew I was different and I didn't know why but I felt everyone else was weird but I knew I was the one different. I also thought I was the only one with AS because I never met another aspie. Then I realized a couple years later this kid in my school might have had it and he was pretty severe. I just didn't know I was the mild version of him.



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21 Feb 2010, 10:41 am

swansong wrote:
I find this question difficult to answer for multiple reasons:



just describe your life as you have experienced it so far.



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21 Feb 2010, 11:09 am

It's great, not to be influenced by society. It's good to feel free. :)


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21 Feb 2010, 11:17 am

League_Girl wrote:
I hate being asked this. It's so hard to answer because then I have to think up a list of things to tell my difficulties.

It's easier to answer on the forums because I have time to think of what to say but on IM and in real life, it's nearly impossible. It's like asking what is it like to be me. Plus I don't know what everything I do is part of being me or the AS.


Everything you do is a part of both. AS is a part of you, so it's affecting the way you process things 100% of the time. Even normal things are probably processed much differently then most people.