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Grown NT Child of an Aspie Mother

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StuartN
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16 Mar 2010, 5:49 am

League_Girl wrote:
I am always surprised when I hear about older aspies who still can't accept peoples opinions or different point of views. I mean didn't they run into other people who were like that and they saw how annoying that was so they decided they didn't want to be like that so they changed?


My cultural references are probably not appropriate (outside UK), but doesn't everyone want to be Victor Meldrew or Fay Weldon or Germaine Greer or Diana / Tom (Waiting for God) or Alf Garnet? There are so many comic heroes who grow old with a total disregard for social niceties. And "growing old disgracefully" gets 170,000 hits on Google. And the song "I did it my way" is the most popular secular song at British funerals - I imagine that to be a fond farewell to a heap of curmudgeonly old bastards like myself.



anxiety25
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16 Mar 2010, 7:12 am

I find it odd... on this site, if a topic about a parent wanting their child to give them more hugs and be more emotionally connected is discussed, everyone bashes the parent for expecting that from their autistic child....

But then something like this comes up, and people are saying "oh how horrible".

Guess what though... without being taught those things throughout life, or figuring out ways around it, this is what that child could easily become when they are a parent.

It's not hard at all for me to see that somebody growing up without a diagnosis or anything, while they would be aware that something is different about them, would not be necessarily aware of what exactly is different. I can also see why as time goes on, they might cling to things like interests and become more detached from "what people are supposed to do".

It's either one way or the other-are we supposed to do these things and learn to adapt, or is the world supposed to accept us just as we are? I see both views very strongly expressed when it comes to different topics, but it doesn't seem to remain constant.

Some seem pretty hell bent on not changing for anyone... in that case, is it that far of a stretch to see something like this happening? On the other hand, some people try and try and just don't succeed... which would make me think it wouldn't be too far of a stretch to think that the person just may not be trying anymore.

I'm personally very confused as to why some situations are perfectly accepted on here, but not others that are similar or relate somehow.


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Blueberis
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16 Mar 2010, 12:07 pm

Quote:
I find it odd... on this site, if a topic about a parent wanting their child to give them more hugs and be more emotionally connected is discussed, everyone bashes the parent for expecting that from their autistic child....

But then something like this comes up, and people are saying "oh how horrible".

Guess what though... without being taught those things throughout life, or figuring out ways around it, this is what that child could easily become when they are a parent.

It's not hard at all for me to see that somebody growing up without a diagnosis or anything, while they would be aware that something is different about them, would not be necessarily aware of what exactly is different. I can also see why as time goes on, they might cling to things like interests and become more detached from "what people are supposed to do".

It's either one way or the other-are we supposed to do these things and learn to adapt, or is the world supposed to accept us just as we are? I see both views very strongly expressed when it comes to different topics, but it doesn't seem to remain constant.

Some seem pretty hell bent on not changing for anyone... in that case, is it that far of a stretch to see something like this happening? On the other hand, some people try and try and just don't succeed... which would make me think it wouldn't be too far of a stretch to think that the person just may not be trying anymore.

I'm personally very confused as to why some situations are perfectly accepted on here, but not others that are similar or relate somehow.


I understand where you are coming from. I think that its a parents job in the beginning to reach out to their young children and reach them on their levels. If a child is Autistic you have to figure out the best way to love them, and if a child is NT you still have to meet their emotional needs. Its part of being a parent. I understand this because I have two children of my own who need differing levels of love.

My mothers parents were very strict and not understanding about my mother and they tried to push her to be like her siblings. I think she suffered greatly because of it.

I can relate better to my mother now that I'm older and have children of my own, but I was very confused as a child.