Do you feel really proud of yourself for socialising well?

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no, because I honestly don't believe I did anywhere near as good as anyone tells me; I just think they're being nice.

At the same time though, it's not my social skills I focus on making sure are top notch whenever I'm in said situation, cause...face it, it won't be pretty. Instead, I just let my good characteristics shine like the brightest smile ya'd ever seen.

My mentality is more along the lines of "yeah, I can't socialize to save my life; but you need me anyway, and I'm tellin' you straight up right now why you do"

so shall,
so shall,
so shall it be i shall not be social.

it helps when ya just learn to stop caring what everyone else thinks.

If they like, great.

If they don't, my life won't end over it.

And chances are, the latter will happen more often than the former. I believe the man from Hoboken sang it best: "that's life".

the person who says the last word is the person that utters the word that comes last in the race of words.

Last edited by b9 on 10 May 2010, 6:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

No.

However, I feel really bad about myself when I do something wrong involving people, especially if it's something that hurts people and that in hindsight was incredibly stupid. I always give more weight to my mistakes than to what I do right.

people who look at peoples bottoms can claim to have hindsight.

yeah, I've been known to do that, at times, too.

to the extent that one can take pride in learning a part in a play rather well.

ruveyn

Nothing is more satisfying than knowing I did well in a social context
(Well, that's an exaggeration, but maybe some people know what I mean.)

On the flip side, it's also one of the worst feelings ever when I'm proud of myself for doing well, and then someone asks me afterward, "why were you being so weird?" or "are you upset? you were being really rude." Crushing my dreams. Sigh.

Yes I do feel proud of myself when I do well socially. Same as anything else that I'm not supposed to be able to do. I really get off on finding good evidence that I've pushed the envelope and got away with it, whether it's social or technical.

I'm going through a good social phase at the moment so my head is beginning to swell......only last night I was in a pub, having conversations with people for more or mess the whole time, and I didn't even feel tired when I got home. I haven't felt that socially adept since I got my diagnosis My mind was buzzing afterwards and I feared I might not be able to sleep for it (I've often had insomnia due to the mental hyperactivity I get when I'm under stress), but somehow I was able to drop off to sleep with little bother.

But I'm also proud of the people I was with who made this possible - not one of them knows I'm an Aspie, but for some reason they don't seem to think I'm too weird to associate with. I'm even trying to lend them a hand in working out some of their problems with each other - it's a delicate matter and they seem to be trusting me with it. Sometimes I could almost swear that they're looking up to me.

As a spinoff, my social confidence has got better and I'm finding myself taking little risks with other people, experimenting with eye contact and warmth.

On the other hand, it's said that pride cometh before a fall. I've climbed out of the pit before, only to get sucked back into it. But if I want the rewards, I have to take that risk.....and I do want those rewards.

Oh jeez, our b9 unit is stuck again. Would somebody please hand me that hydrospanner over there?
<ratcheting noise>
<panel creaking open>
Oh maaaaaan, when is the last time this unit was maintenanced? What is this part for? <tosses part over shoulder> And what IS that moving around in there, looking at me???
<closes panel>
There, that should fix him for a while. We here at b9 industries apologize for any inconvenience to the users of this forum.

b9 Industries. A Brighter Future ... Today.

I don't really, because I know I'm bound to screw up again sooner than later. The minute I relax and think "whoah I actually managed to get it right", circumstances change, it cannot be applied again since people are governed by everything other than logic and predictability. I know I'm bound to get it at times, simply by the shear amount of luck and stochastic processes, but even more so I know I'll screw up the other 2/3 of the time. But it doesn't matter - since it can't be controlled I'm not to be blamed either. As if it matters in the great scheme of things, apart from getting a job/finishing college or anything related to basic survival. People think they matter, but actually they don't - no more than the rest of us blessed/cursed with a different type of brain.

yeah . I particularly like it when my nieces and nephews want to play with me or make me stuff or show me stuff - I guess cause kids are often more honest and I figure I must be going OK.

When I went solo backpacking a few years ago I found that it forced me to come out of my shell and approach people which is something I would have never done before.

I think it helped that I was also encountering people from other cultures it got me away from the pretense and the cold shouldered attitude of where I grew up (London+home counties) Also my social oddities were just seen as cultural not abnormal. I made a lot of friends in Canada, the states and various parts of europe that I still stay in contact with every now and again on msn.

I found it really helped build up my confidence to approach and talk to people. And also to go and get things done. I'm really bad for leaving things to the last minute or simply putting things off. This experiance seemed to make me go and get things done.

That was back in 2002 and I feel I've lot alot of this confidence i had gained back then from doing this. I think i'd like to embark on another similair journey at some point in the future. Last year I went to Sweden and it's given me a taste for wanting to go and explore the parts of europe I've yet to goto.

the last time i was serviced was in the environmental cybernetics department at "alpha control" the day before i was installed into the magnetic lock on the jupiter 2 for the journey to alpha centauri.
i have been lost in space ever since then.
dr zachary smith has some education as to my programming, and he performs maintenance on me while i am offline (when my power pack is out).

i agree that my circuits are outdated and i am obsolete now, but i am unique and useful in the space that i am lost in. the robinson family has no access to newer models, and they are stuck with me.



not quite! that part you threw over your shoulder was my voltage regulation system!

thankfully smith reassembled me and i am working again, no thanks to you and your tampering. he calls me a metallurgical monstrosity, but he never the less has a need for my services.


your company is not related to my manufacture i am compelled to report.

Yes I can relate to this. When I first really started figuring it out especially. Not so much anymore, because now I feel more used to social situations. I've worked really hard on it. When I first figured out how make small talk, it was a great feeling. It was also great when I finally was able to be comfortable in a crowded club or bar. My next step is actual eye contact.