Asperger's versus the fallout of child abuse

Post Reply New Topic

I have a similar situation where I went through early childhood trauma (I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer at age 6, and events that happened two years before traumatized me too). However, I learned that it's important to figure out which came first?
I got an informal DX of Asperger's recently after going over childhood with mom with a specialist. What counted was that my extreme obsession with tornadoes was there at age two, as well as the fact that I had good vocabulary. I had sensory issues way before the trauma, and hard time fitting in and inability to tell why. It was there before the trauma started.
My point is that it's hard to rule out which is which, but going way back before (with the help of parents) is a good idea.
PS- I was labeled gifted at a young age too! *high five*

I am completely convinced that my Asperger symptoms are a result of serious child abuse and neglect, as I often say, if a part of the brain is damaged it will result in consequences, it matters not how that part of the brain was damaged, the end result is the same.

Even monkeys who were separated from their mothers were said to show signs of Autism.

Remember the Romanian Orphans found in conditions of neglect?
The following was noted about them in the journal of child psychology :-

" Some of the thousands of children (about 10%) who were adopted by Western families from destitute and overcrowded Romanian institutions during the 1990s revealed autistic-like symptoms pertaining to the triad of core autism deficits in social interaction, communication, and interests/activities. Although it is well known today that autism has a strong genetic component and is not considered a common consequence of severe early deprivation, researchers reported a high prevalence of autistic-like symptoms in these adopted children who had been institutionally reared and had experienced prolonged severe neglect in their early years (Hoksbergen, ter Laak, Rijk, van Dijkum, & Stoutjesdijk, 2005; Rutter et al., 1999, 2007). Indeed, researchers attributed these autistic-like behaviors directly to the children’s impoverished early environmental factors (e.g., extreme neglect, prolonged institutional care), and the provision of caring conditions for these impoverished childr ..."

My experience with PTSD is that being 'cool' is the absolute last thing I have the time or energy for. In anyone's life the truth is that staying alternately grounded and uplifted is far more important, of course there are many ways of doing so. Nobody limits themselves to only one. Cannabis helps me release cumulative stress, anxiety and pain. The paranoia most people associate with it stems from specific cannabinoids which can be selectively marginalized. My friends understand that it's rather strictly medicinal for many people and I don't see that causing a conflict of interests with its' recreational use.

Want to tell me it saps motivation? You can sure try, I'm a software contractor learning 3D digital arts on one of the largest datasets in the world.

I've never heard of an NT who rocks and flaps past toddler age. Apart from autism, I've only seen/heard of those particular stims being shown by kids with various developmental disabilities, and by post-institutionalized kids (but not any other traumatized group).

I am. I have several diagnoses: depression, generalized anxiety disorder, mild aspergers, history of substance abuse. I also had a very unhappy childhood growing up with two parents who were mentally ill and abusive toward me. However, my symptoms have been pronounced enough that I had no trouble self-diagnosing. I fit all the diagnostic criteria. It took me a long time to find a mental health professional who was experience with autism spectrum disorders, so it took me a long time to get officially diagnosed. I am also gifted. It is similar to AS because you can't really relate to a lot of people. Your intelligence makes you see the world so much differently than people with normal intelligence.

For me, the difficulty has not been wondering if I am autistic or not. It has been differentiating the effects of all my different traits. It has helped me to look at different people I know. For example, I have a good friend who is gifted bu does not have any mental health problems. He experiences a lot of the social isolation and awkwardness that I do because his mental abilities makes me see the world differently. However, he does not have any problems with social understanding or executive functioning. He is very successful and seems to have developed normally.

On one side of my family, mood disorders, substance abuse, and giftedness are widespread. I notice how people on that side of my family interact with the world. They tend to be socially isolated but don't have problems with social understanding or executive functioning. I think they are socially isolated because of being gifted and because of all the abuse of growing up in a family that was ravished by untreated alcoholism, drug addiction, and bipolar disorder.

On the other side of my family people are weird. I think that most people fall somewhere on the spectrum, or they learned to act autistic because of being raised by someone on the spectrum. I judge whether or not they meet diagnostic criteria by looking at their social understanding and executive functioning. My mom and me are definitely on the spectrum. Others have many traits but they understand social situations too much for me to label them autistic.

To the original poster, if you find a mental health provider to who is familiar with autistic spectrum disorders, you might get more clarification on whether you are autistic or not.

Last edited by em_tsuj on 15 Mar 2015, 10:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I would like to add these warnings to your post. Experiences vary with marijuana use. I used to smoke all day everyday. It definitely helped lift my mood and suicidal thoughts. It also helped me get out an socialize. However, it worsened my anxiety and, most importantly, it made my executive dysfunction problems worse. I am not good at multi-tasking and I lack motivation anyway. Marijuana kept me stuck to the wall doing nothing. At a certain point, it also made me paranoid and so incoherent that I could not hold on a conversation.

Another thing to note is that marijuana is as addictive as alcohol. If you are prone to addiction, you should stay away from it. All addictions have a negative impact on your life, including marijuana addiction. It is not a safe drug, like our society likes to make it sound. It has its downsides.

With all this being said, some people are able to use marijuana without all the negative consequences. Some people (including myself) have benefited from pot use. I have been clean for almost 11 years because of the executive dysfunction issues, the fact that I can't afford a $300-$400 a week pot budget without doing some illegal things to make money, and the fact that pot is illegal where I live. If it weren't for the downsides, I'd probably still be using it. I just wanted to post some specific warnings because there seems to be an attitude in U.S. culture that pot is okay and has no downsides. There are some downsides with pot just like other drugs. Use pot with caution.

I kind of relate. Aspergers got ruled out for me when I was tested because my issues were pinned on lots of other things. I was bullied alot as a kid & I have afew physical disabilities in addition to dyslexia & ADD that threw kinks with my testing. I'm sure I had Aspergers thou & the psychs got my effects & causes reversed.

I have wondered for a couple years if my "Aspergers" is just a reaction to the ostracization and bullying I faced (and I'm sure a mental health professional would state that as well). I highly doubt it because I very clearly displayed Aspie traits in pre-school and have the video evidence to prove my memories. I was bullied in elementary school mildly but in preschool I was NEVER treated with anything but courtesy and respect by everyone.

It might help explain why so many people who seem to flock to me were abused as children and have addictions and other similar problems. Stating that I don't have Aspergers because I was bullied just mixes up the cause and effect in my opinion. I was targeted BECAUSE my Aspergers traits made me stand out (and being 6'4" in Junior High didn't help). I was bullied for being skinny, tall and interested in hockey statistics but I realize I would have been bullied for ANYTHING different about me.

I think the central issue is that the psychiatrist knows little about ASDs, not your history of abuse per se. Have you consulted, or considered consulting, someone fully conversant with ASD?

It may be hard to find one of course, and then to find a really competent one - they seem very thin on the ground. It takes much more than reading a few paragraphs in the DSM 5 to become competent in the recognition of ASDs.

I would say go with your own instincts here; if you give all your power away to someone else to determine who you are, even knowing that all humans are fallible, you are not going to find it easy to come to terms with who you uniquely are.

This is my problem.

Social/communication problems - could be because from age 10 3/4 I was forced (under threat) to obey 'no talking, no smiling, no playing'. I definitely had autistic traits as a young child, but I was abused the whole time with it becoming much worse when I was that age. At 14 I became so anxious I barely spoke to anyone because I had to follow a routine and talking was unpredictable - maybe I just didn't practice enough?

Routine - Controlling things is well known in Autistic children and can extend into adulthood but my type doesn't fit OCPD and I wouldn't be likely to meet full criteria for OCD because of how I present. (Example, I get upset if the applications on my desktop change because of an upgrage on windows, etc. I must always take the same route, chnging sides of the road at the 'right' places but do not because anxious about it unless my routine gets disrupted rather than because I'm trying to avoid certain thoughts.)

Stimming - abused children are known to do this, although I haven't yet found any good proof of adults who do it to the extent I do in the ways I do.

hypervigilance - I used to have true hypervigilance. I am no longer jumpy in the same way but still find light painful and sound too loud when I wear my hearing aids. I have never learnt to filter out undangerous sounds.

So, potentially I could have quasi-autism but sometimes it seems a bit of a stretch to argue that all these independent factors came together and caused autism-that's-not-autism.

I hear you loud and clear, OP. Been wondering the same recently. I am not officially diagnosed, but AS fits me like the proverbial glove. I'm now in my 40s and spent from the age of 16 seeking help from psychiatrists, psychologists, counsellors, social workers, Balinese shamen, doctors etc trying to find out 'what is wrong' with me.

I've dealt with a truckload of my abuse issues, but in the ashes remains a shell of a human I am beginning ti get to know. If anyone looks me in the eyes, I cringe that they will see the cracked, hideous soul inside. I can't handle more rejection.

I suspect it is irrelevant what caused the AS like symptoms. Given my eldest is being tested for AS this month, and has had a charmed upbringing (compared to mine!), it may be it is a genetic predisposition. Either way, I have a lot of AS like traits and I am struggling under the weight of trying to fit in. All I have left is to openly be who I am and rebuild my life (yet again) with transparency.

OP, I can merely empathise with where you are at. I have nothing to offer you, really, that will ease your questioning. Just know you are far from being alone.