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Work and Expectations

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Jacs
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18 Apr 2011, 11:02 am

Zen wrote:
YellowBanana wrote:
Jacs wrote:
Still don't understand though, how is setting impossible targets supose to motive you?


I don't get it either. Set me a realistic target and I'll meet or exceed it.
Set me an impossible one, or one you've just randomly thought up, and I'll struggle to meet it, realise at some point during the attempt to meet it that I can't, and end up in a non-functional state.

I am the same way.

And I work for myself. But I still try to meet unrealistic expectations from clients, because I just don't know how to judge time and effort like other people seem to. So I end up suffering through multiple meltdowns/shutdowns to end up with a product which I think is mediocre, and then the client thinks it's the best thing ever. :huh:


I can definatly relate to this.

When I was in College I re-wrote my end of term paper 10 times and only didn't do it for an 11th as I ran out of time and it had to be handed in. I was in a state for days, convinced I had failed yet ended up with an A, although even now I don't think I deserved it.


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Dylexia, Dyspraxia, Anxiety, Depression and possible Aspergers ... that is all.


Conspicuous
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18 Apr 2011, 11:55 am

Speaking as a manager, yes, we almost always use unreasonable expectations to motivate workers. We try to keep them as close as possible to the border of what is doable, but that doesn't always happen. The reason for this is that most workers, when given goals that are easily within reach, will become complacent and fail to meet those goals. But a worker given a goal that is difficult to reach but, in his mind, attainable will more likely strive for that goal or at least get more accomplished than the worker given an easy goal.

Speaking as someone being managed (by my superiors) and as an aspie, I am not motivated by unreasonable expectations and would by far prefer to be able to literally interpret any goals I'm given and get them done as such.

In shorter words, managers all do it, but it really only works for NTs.



League_Girl
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18 Apr 2011, 2:43 pm

Jacs wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Jacs wrote:
I have only had 3 proper jobs (excluding those summer ones during college), and with each of them I have felt a complete failure. One I stayed in for 6 years, not because I enjoyed it but because I believed I wouldn’t get a job anywhere else due to my incompetance.

For all 3 jobs I was told certain things must be done in a certain way and my work would be checked regularly for mistakes etc. and that basically perfection was expected.

This led to me being very miserable in all 3, as I felt I was never a success because I never achieved what my employer expected of me.

However lately someone has told me that all employers do this and that they don’t really expect perfection but like to give people something to aspire to and to be motivate by!

I can’t say I understand this at all. If someone tells me they expect a certain thing of me, especially at work, I do my up most to achieve it.



Even if I was an NT, how is putting forward an expectation of perfection meant to inspire me! After all no one is prefect, so how is setting a target I can’t possibly achieve meant to inspire and motive me??

Has anyone had similar experiences with working or know the answe to this one?


The dark truth of it is that employers don't really expect you to be " perfect" but its done to instill a sense of fear in you so that you become self motivated to work harder and not slack off. If you fear having your employer looking over your shoulder you're going to try and make sure your always on task and doing the job the best you can.


So they are actually trying to scare you rather than motivate you then?


Sounds like it. I would have taken it literally too but now I know they don't expect you to be perfect nor want you to be. I assume it's just easier for them to say it so you do a better job at it and not slack off.

I would have just gotten stressed out and maybe take me longer to get it done because I am trying to make sure it's perfect or just quit because it be too much fearing I'd screw up and get fired after three written ups in short amount of time.



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18 Apr 2011, 2:48 pm

JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Jacs wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Jacs wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Jacs wrote:
I have only had 3 proper jobs (excluding those summer ones during college), and with each of them I have felt a complete failure. One I stayed in for 6 years, not because I enjoyed it but because I believed I wouldn’t get a job anywhere else due to my incompetance.

For all 3 jobs I was told certain things must be done in a certain way and my work would be checked regularly for mistakes etc. and that basically perfection was expected.

This led to me being very miserable in all 3, as I felt I was never a success because I never achieved what my employer expected of me.

However lately someone has told me that all employers do this and that they don’t really expect perfection but like to give people something to aspire to and to be motivate by!

I can’t say I understand this at all. If someone tells me they expect a certain thing of me, especially at work, I do my up most to achieve it.



Even if I was an NT, how is putting forward an expectation of perfection meant to inspire me! After all no one is prefect, so how is setting a target I can’t possibly achieve meant to inspire and motive me??

Has anyone had similar experiences with working or know the answe to this one?


The dark truth of it is that employers don't really expect you to be " perfect" but its done to instill a sense of fear in you so that you become self motivated to work harder and not slack off. If you fear having your employer looking over your shoulder you're going to try and make sure your always on task and doing the job the best you can.


So they are actually trying to scare you rather than motivate you then?


In essence...fear is a form of motivation. They dont want you to be afraid of work, they just want a disciplined worker who understands expectations.


To me, fear only causes me to meltdown and get in a state.



Well...I wish I can say find a job where you dont have a little fear, but they just dont exist. Everyone has a boss, and if they are a boss they have fear for their company all the time. No way to escape it if you want a job/career. You just gotta roll with the flow sometimes and take it at your pace...if a boss is abusive, thats when its over the line and its time to move on with your life. If your boss has expectations, thats par for the course. Your not going to find a boss who is going to be your best friend.


I have never had a boss who told me they expect me to be perfect and get it all right. Do it right, yes but if you miss some spots or did a little error, they have you go back and fix it. I guess because I had bosses who were friendly and understanding, not your worst enemy.



robertyknwt
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19 Apr 2011, 6:46 pm

I started not just a new job, but a new career, 2.5 years ago at the ripe old age of 45. My first boss was very much of the school of "I'll give you 100 things to do, and just start with the most important ones and work your way down as far as you can." Much, much stress. I don't like that kind of management.

My current boss (first boss got promoted) is both much more laid back, and not in the same office as us (I'm in California, he's in St. Louis MO). So he sets expectations that are quite achievable, with occasional other things added on to the list "if you have time when you finish the important stuff". I much prefer this. (And I wouldn't be surprised if he's not all that NT himself, if you know what I mean.)

I also need frequent feedback. One job I had, I'd been in there over 2 years and on my third director when they FINALLY got around to giving me a performance review (which was supposed to be annually). And then I was dumped on for a bunch of things that had happened ages before, esp. right when I'd started. My response was "Look, if you saw that as a problem then, you should have told me THEN, not now. Don't wait two whole freaking years to tell me I should have done it differently!" I now explicitly tell my bosses "If you see me do something wrong or whatever, call me on it immediately, don't let it sit," just to make sure that never happens again, because it really cheesed me off.