''You need to get out to clubs and bars to meet people!''

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Bars are completely useless to me if I'm sober. If I'm drunk, I may sometimes succeed at striking up conversations with random people... but do NOT expect me to remember or even ask for any names. Depending on the bar, it may be completely boring to me even while I'm very drunk!!

Parties are somewhat better, since I know at least a few people there. And, they're much less likely to have people who get violent while drunk, or have severe alcohol problems, or who do every drug under the sun. At least the parties I get invited to...

Bars where people have been killed are an absolute NO-NO for me, no matter what else is in them.

It's not like I can hear a single word of what people are saying to me in bars and clubs, so socializing in them seems pointless.

Yeah, I have to YELL in bars or parties to be heard, and frequently ask people to speak up.

I never knew anybody who met any friend in a club or a bar. People just go there when they have friend already and 99% of the time, the interaction that you have with people are very superficial. To "meet" a friend in those place, you would have to spend dozens of hours, so it doens't worth it.

Actualy I heard that before, my mind on that is that this kind of saying is more oriented towards the person who says it. It basically means "I'm cool, I met lots of other cool guys in cool places, be like me, be cool.

It's just that most young NT seem to think that just because you don't go out to a bar, you don't socialise.

My brother is like it. At the week-end he asked me if I wanted to come out to a bar with him and 11 other people he knows, and I said, ''no thank you'', and when he was getting ready to go, my dad asked him where he was going and he said, ''I am going out to socialise!'' and when he said the word ''socialise'' he looked at me, and I knew the hidden clue was ''I'm going out to socialise, unlike you!'' and there was also a hidden word he was non-verbally calling me which was ''anti-social''. So I said, ''look, I've been out all day with my friends! That's still socialising!'' It was true - I had met some friends and we had some lunch out at a restaurant together then did some shopping. That is socialising.

Hopefully when my brother gets a bit older he might realise that you don't have to go to a bar or pub to socialise. Meeting friends up in the town and going for lunch together is just as social as going to a bar at night time. I just find ''daytime socialising'' is easier because I don't get so bored as I do sitting in a noisy bar all night, and you don't have to get dolled up, and it's just a different environment. Bars are just not my thing. Don't mind sitting in a pub for an hour or two with people I'm comfortable with, having a couple of drinks, but I couldn't sit in one all night with rowdy youths. It's just not my cup of tea.

From around 17 I tried to do the going to a bar on a friday or saturday night thing, hoping somehow I'd get sucked into someones social group. If anything, sitting alone looking terrified just made things worse. Getting blind drunk or buying other people drinks just got me labeled a weirdo too.

Decided if I got a job working on the other side of the bar, I might pick up a few pointers on how to fit in with the customers but after seeing too many arguments, fights and general negative actions caused by alcohol and people being "social", I came to the conclusion I was never going to fit in there.

I'm sure some people do make new friends and whatnot in bars and clubs, but it seems to happen more from one social group mixing with another social group, like a venn diagram, some will mingle in the middle. Problem is, if you don't have a social group to start with, your'e out of luck in those sort of places.

To meet people? No. Not the right place at all. Too much noise. Too many distractions. I find it impossible to get to know anyone in clubs. The din, even if there is no music, is too overwhelming.

Though I will go with a small group of people I know, but they need to know ahead of time that I won't be very interactive if it's too noisy, thus most friends I have won't even ask me to go.

If there is music I like playing in the area, I will go, but mainly just to sit, listen and enjoy the music. It has to be a decent LIVE band too. I won't go listen to DJ's. I've got iTunes for that, and it only plays what I want it too.

I prefer to meet people one or maybe two at a time, in a quiet setting we're ALL comfortable with, and not with a lot of other people around.

Suggesting clubs are a great place for Aspies to meet people reveals a lack of understanding of what it means to be Aspie.

Speaking from experience from when my friends took me to bars in the 90's even when women approached me I did not know if they were coming on to me or just trying to talk to me because they bored or drunk. I even had one woman's friends yell at me for walking away from their friend I did not know she still was talking to me. She gave me a long pause so I thought she was through talking so I walked away. Her friends thought I was acting stuck or that I felt like I was better than their friend.

I had women talk to me and I walked away to go back to where my friends were only to have them yell "What are you doing? She was coming onto you!" "Are you that oblivious or are truely ret*d?"

My friend took me to a club when I turned 21. It wasn't very crowded, and we sat in an area where we could hear one another and have a few drinks. It was an interesting place to hang out with my friend for maybe an hour or two, but otherwise it wasn't worth it. I could see myself only going to a club/bar if I'm with someone I know, and it's not crowded.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlMtY8BXhaA[/youtube]

I don't need to go to clubs because I don't need to meet people. I have 0 friends and that's plenty for me

To these kinds of people I ask, "why do I nessasarily need to go to a BAR to meet people? The purpose of going to a bar is to drink, and I don't drink". If I want to meet and interact with others, I'll do it on my own terms thank you very much.

The kinds of women who hang out in bars and club hop probably aren't the kind that would work out in a long term relationship.