Is It Hard to Get People Not To Touch You?

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Yeah, people I meet (a few strangers, but mostly relatives) feel the need to pat my head although I have repeatedly asked them to stop touching me. It's really annoying. Sometimes I start to get angry at them, swearing and pushing them away with my hands, but they still continue to touch me. That's when I run into a vacant room and lock the door, or I run outside. It always works because nobody is willing to chase me down the street.

Luckily no one ever touches me except on the rare occasions like maybe once a year max when relatives that don't live nearby visit and one really old lady will insist on hugging everyone when she leaves. I just tolerate that one time. Other than that my family isn't too touchy feely and if the ones around here tried to touch me I'd probably back up from and tell them to gtfo.

I seem to give off a don't come near me aura so strangers don't touch me. My parents are very unemotional and so hugging etc was never a big thing growing up, I vaguely recall being hugged at around age 5. Probably why I find it so shocking when people do hug me, it feels so unnatural and I don't like it, I don't like the close proximity of the other person / claustrophobic feelings I get from it. I avoid my mother in law whenever it's my birthday or anything emotional has happened. I avoided telling her my grandmother had died because I knew she'd be all touchy feely. Same at my grandmother's funeral, I quickly moved out of the room if anyone got too emotional and if anyone moved in to hug me (I have many many relatives) I quickly backed off and walked away, they got the message. The only people who I don't mind touching me are my husband and daughter, everybody else I try to avoid standing too close to, it's just my mother in law really.

I have a tutor at college who frequently puts her hands on me. What makes it worse is that she does it without warning, she comes up behind me and plants her hands on my shoulders. One time she even started massaging me!
Trouble is, I'm too timid to ask her to stop because I don't want to get on her bad side. So I just tense up until it's over.

My Dad finds it hard to accept that I don't like being touched. I will hug people if it's planned and appropriate, but he is always semi-hugging me when I walk past him. Putting his hand on my hip or something. It's that light touch which drives me crazy.

I'm really curious what kind of people you all spend your lives around. I never have people just randomly try to touch me.

Brazilians and relatives.

my grandma always does this it makes me itch its horrible even though i lean away from her and my mums told her i don't like it she acts like nobody's said anything shes always stroking my arm or leg its horrible! just make it really clear.

I had people do these at a resteraunt I worked at part time for 9 years. I guess because we worked so close to one another and for so long people thought it was alright to touch each other. But the majority did it because they knew I hated being touched.

1) There was a manager who always grabbed my shoulder doing a semi message thing
2) Same manager would pat me on the back
3) A waitress use to hug everyone including me if she was able to sneak up on me
4) A waitress would grab me by the bicep or forarm when she talked to me
5) A take out girl use to love to grab the bottom of my ponytail then wrap her hand in my hair
6) There was a short bus boy who use to jump on everyone's back as if to ride them piggy back
7) The take out girl who use to play with my hair bit me on the back of my neck when my hair was under a hat to make me jump on Halloween
8 ) I had a waitress dare me to "motorboat" her boobs at Darien Lake amusement park when we all went for our union. She had a bikini top on and I won a dollar.

I have had people get upset when I told them please do not touch me. They say stuff like "do you think your better than me?" "Am I that disgusting to you?" "Why do you hate me?" and I also had people accuse me of being molested as a child. They think my aversion to being touched came from that. That was back in the 90's way before my diagnosis for Asperger's Syndrome.

I had a buddy who is on the spectrum took his NT wife on a trip To Bangkok Thailand. They were at a resteraunt when he had to go to the bathroom. While he was at the urinal a Thai bathroom attendent snuck up behind him and began massaging his shoulders. He kept saying "no thank you" but the guy kept going so he stopped mid pee to give the guy a tip to go away. He also had a well dressed Thai man with downsyndrome walk up and hug him on the street until he gave him some money. His NT wife could not believe how badly he reacted to these experinces. His wife had a good laugh at his expense. I would have pissed on the bathroom attendent and b***h slapped the bear hug guy I can't handle suprise touching.

Last edited by Todesking on 25 Nov 2011, 2:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, a lot of people I interact with are very touchy-feely. My acquaintances are not, and respect personal space. But a lot of people, e.g. teachers and small children, feel the instinct to touch me. Teachers mainly just for "soothing" or I guess a "personal feeling" type of desire so that their students can feel "comfortable" around them, although it only alienates me and does the opposite of the teacher's objective. The small children I occasionally interact with are very affectionate with people, so they like to touch and hug. I'm just happy that I'm in the "pacifist" gym class because the other gym teacher of the other gym class during my gym period makes everything full-contact and everyone is encouraged to tackle and grope and attack each other. My gym class has a no touching policy which I like. A lot of people will try to touch me to annoy me, namely my sister's friends. It's annoying how many people don't understand the discomfort I feel with physical contact. My mom would get mad at me for not wanting to hug her when I was younger, but now she understands. Alas, many people don't.

Sometimes. I'm quite sure I offended some guy today at my sister's house. He offered me a hug as he was leaving and I declined.

Maybe I should have sucked it up, but I'd already been forcibly hugged by someone else just 5 seconds before and couldn't handle more.

I've seen multiple people mention people coming up from behind and give them a shoulder rub. If someone pulled that on me I would consider that a come-on. I think that is part of the reason I don't like to be touched. If I don't want to do someone I don't want to be touched by them. All touch somehow became sexualized for me.

I don't like to be touched also, but I don't know if it's an Aspie trait or just my nature. Few people are allowed to do it. It's not a sensory issue, it's just intrusive to me. Italians often touch their friends during conversations, but since I never touch people they understand I don't like it, even if sometimes an exception occurs. They think I'm aloof.

Wow! There is something not right with these people, and I think even the NTs I'm around would agree. And I'm sorry, but if you grab me from behind while I'm peeing, you are going to get an elbow to the face.

No. Cover yourself in animal feces and I guarantee you nobody will ever touch you again lol.

I didn't usually think about it, so haven't planned. When I saw it coming, I stepped aside. When I didn't see it coming, I winced.

Warning: Shameless Advert

I put up a poll in Love & Dating about how people feel about being touched, and how that it changed over time, if anyone is interested in participating. For an informal study that I'm doing.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt181643.html

Warning: Pun Alert
Thought I'd post it here because this thread is touchy. <groans>