Why can't some aspies improve?

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I second this.

You can be aware of having AS or the possibility of it and still not be aware of your symptoms. With me I may not realize I am talking too loud and I also may not realize I am repeating myself or asking the same questions or that another person isn't getting a word in edgewise. I also was not aware for a while I did not read body language or pick up on hints. I think I have gotten better now at picking up on hints but I don't know if I am just because paranoid now due to what I have read online.

They may be aware of what their difficulties are but not realize when they are doing it. That's why we should keep pointing it out to them when it happens.

Thirded. Even when writing.

Haha *random hug*
That was so cute...

fourthed? In writing, too, as well, also. Lol.
It's as if either I think I'm soooo smart noone but me could possibly understand what I say the first time, or I confuse myself and rephrase to be sure I'm making sense....either way it's irritating. For others and myself.

yes, that's it exactly!

Good to see I'm not the only one, safety in numbers, lol.

This OP was very rude... yet another reason to just never talk to anyone.

fifth'd.

At my previous job, I once made a female coworker cry because I kept trying to explain my point properly. I guess to her it just sounded like I was hammering the point into her to emphasize it.



This is the hardest part when trying to fix all my social problems. I've read and studied and taken endless advice on how to socialize properly, but I can never remember any of it when in an actual conversation. Especially true if the conversation has a confrontational atmosphere. Once I feel I'm being confronted, all lessons go out the metaphorical window. All I can do is respond head-on to anything said or asked to me. It feels like a sort of tunnel vision; all I can see is what's directly in front of me, and I have no ability to steer to either side to avoid the pitfalls.

My biggest problem is correcting people. Somehow, the biggest piece of advice I get on this is "Just don't correct people." Yeah, but how do I do that?!

Why can't some people run a marathon? I mean, they say they want to...

I often jabber on and on about something when I feel strongly about it, I was once doing a presentation for one of those job hunting groups where we had to prepare for an interview and research a particular company, even though I vaguely could see I was boring the crap out of everyone (I have watched body language for years) it just didn't seem to register for about fifteen minutes until I started repeating myself...I think someone else should get the blame for that though, they distracted me and set me off on a tangent no one was prepared or even mentally equipped for.

Yes, it really doesn't matter how much social knowledge I accumulate intellectually. In real-time, the signals are just not there. I cannot detect any at all. I am like a cellphone with no bars. As an adult, I am at least aware that there is a cellphone. When I was a kid, I didn't know about the cellphone either. So all I have in terms of social knowledge is some random stuff that I learned from watching TV and reading stories, not even from actual social interactions, because during actual social interactions, I can't even pay attention to any of the social stuff. NO signal.

With rambling, I can stop briefly whenever I remember to stop or someone tells me directly.

With correcting people, I cannot not do it, even when I remember that I am not supposed to do it or when I am told not to do it. That is purely intellectual information that has no feeling to go with it, so there is nothing stopping me from correcting people at the same time that there is a great uncontrollable urge driving me forth to commit of some act of social disharmony. This is especially true when someone says something erroneous about autism or autistic people. In these cases, the drive is so great that it is just short of meltdown, or sometimes just meltdown.

Old habits die hard. Even when I become aware of a bad habit, I am not always capable of stopping it. For example, sometimes I just have to tell a really bad joke, because I will not feel satisfied if I keep it to myself. Also, I cannot help but hope that at least one person will find it as funny as I think it is.

Furthermore, even though I can recognize some of my inappropriate behaviors, I have no idea of how I should behave instead. The best way I have found to avoid ostracization is to isolate myself from people. For obvious reasons, it is a very poor solution, since I am trading being ostracized for ostracizing myself.

What for to fit in ?

I've been thinking this myself today.

Being around other odd people more often has made life less stressful these days. In general, they've been much easier to talk to. If I ramble on, somebody changes the subject and then we all get on with our lives. No big deal!
With them, the "exposure" of unusual behavior doesn't have to equal being shamed into silence.

The people that don't get me aren't worth so much stress. Would they work as hard to get along with me?

Who determines that there is a dominant social group that sets all the rules?

Uh, not say anything if someone gets something wrong?

This isn't really fair.

And this is one reason I never self-diagnosed.

Some people with AS have brains that show up as NT on MRIs but others have results that show a certain area of their brain related to socializing is smaller or otherwise impaired.

So that's why, they are legitimately incapable. They have a true disability(if you consider it to be one).

I consider myself to have traits of AS but not truly disabled and would probably be considered NT after a brain scan.