Girlfriend has aspergers but she doesnt know that i know

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both do the Wired AQ online questionnaire together, as a fun thing one evening or whenever

it's good if she knows. terrible and unfair on her not to enable her to realise his condition

you both can then build an AS/NT relationship (see threads in the adult life discussion section here).

My question is this: Do you have any psychiatric training? What you might interpret as AS behavior may be nothing of the sort.

If she has asperger's and is diagnosed, when she is ready, you will be told.

If she has not been diagnosed, and is happy and functional, then let it be.

If she makes you happy, then accept it and move on.

Unless it is causing a significant problem in her life, let it be. She may not have a clue, and telling her you think she might could be seen as insulting and hurtful. I know I saw it that way when a friend of mine used to call me autistic 20 years ago when I had no clue what it even really meant ( I had seen Rainman, and that was my only point of reference. I most certainly do not act like that.) Even if she agrees with you, it will be a difficult road of self-discovery she will go through when she starts to research it. I know that it brought me to tears a few times because of how the basic articles on Asperger's are written, especially with regards to empathy. If she is already well adjusted then there isn't much that can be done to help her as it is not a problem that medication can directly impact.

(As a side note, I do not have a formal diagnosis. I only came to suspect I was autistic spectrum about 4 or 5 months ago and am still doing my research.)

I don't see anything pointing to an ASD regarding the behavior you've listed. All seems normal to me.

If she had a single interest, that she wouldn't stop talking about and would spend pretty much most of her time doing (literally no time at all for you),
and
she doesn't talk/interact to you about really anything other than said interest, and when other things are brought up she doesn't know how to respond (which is confusing when compared to her ability to talk about that one single subject)

That's the most common manifestation of your high functioning ASD in people who want to interact with others.

Hei again,

just wanted to say that I appreciate that you care so much for her. And she is also very thankful for that I guess.

What seems to be important in an NT aspie relationship is trust.
And it is really difficult to find someone as an aspie that you could trust the way it seems to be with you.

For myself my last relationship, which was quite long, ended because I couldn't open up and felt wrongly approached about problems.
You'd have to be very careful if you have trouble with her. And sense, ask feelings.

I would say also don't expect always an answer, because there are all kind of "blockades" you can run into as an aspie.
And don't accuse her of something that is not true

That happened to me, I was always accused of having some girls at my working place I would be interested in, which was not at all true.That was really bad.
Now, I see this as a reaction to my weird behaviour, that my ex girl-friend could not get what she wanted from me.
She would also always threaten to break up with me, which caused a hell of distress to me.

From these things it can quite easily happen that both get distance to eachother.

You'd have to understand her world, and she'd have to understand yours.
I guess to sort out these things always together and take a little humor with it makes things easier.
Also probably it is good to give up on NT related expectations (in direction of her) totally, in the sense of total equality of both worlds sort of thing

Also that you came here to ask for evaluation of this "problem" is really a sign that you very much care. Nice!! !

i went through the same thing only from her place i did eventually tell him and it was a huge relief knowing that he had known for a long time cause it showed me that he was supportive and that it didn't matter to him if i thought in a different way and good for u for doing your research so many people don't and it is really annoying dealing with ignorant people every day. so just let her tell u she will when she feels safe to tell u .

It's potentially dangerous ground because you don't know whether she knows/is diagnosed or doesn't/hasn't.

Perhaps you could just drop into conversation something like:

My sister showed me an article xeroxed from a magazine written by a guy with adhd. So I read it and she asked the next day if "I recognized myself in it". I knew it was meant for me to see myself in it. But I went "meh"- it wasnt a perfect it. Years later my mom, sis, and I agreed that aspergers was a better fit- and have been officially diagnosed with that by a real specialist more recently.

But I digress.

The point is that - what my sister did might be a way to approach it. Show her an autobiographical article about aspergers and see if she recognizes herself in it.