How do you deal with reduced attention span?

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doofy
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18 Dec 2012, 5:48 pm

azzazinator wrote:

My only solution so far is to ask something, or make a comment to break down the conversation into smaller parts, and buy some time to be able to listen again. I know that it annoys people when I do that.

Yep. I do that. Not sure if it annoys them or not.

MrXxx
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18 Dec 2012, 5:53 pm

I...

crap, what was the question?

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Ooccoo
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18 Dec 2012, 6:18 pm

MrXxx wrote:

I...

crap, what was the question?

Seems apt =P

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LizNY
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18 Dec 2012, 6:51 pm

when i was in college i forced myself to focus and made it into a game of....this time was 8 minutes and next time it will be 10 minutes. and somehow i made it through and was able to focus on the professor for over an hour after a LOT of practice and brute force. honestly, i still don't know how i made it thru. but in conversation? forget it. i'm at a lost and struggle with this every day. while i'm listening i have to remind myself to keep listening and try to maintain eye contact and what's the appropriate facial expression.....and after 4 minutes i'm ready to run for the door. is this just me....?..... ; /

emimeni
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18 Dec 2012, 7:03 pm

The longer I listen to a multi-person conversation, the more distracted I am by noise. This is particularly true if there's more than one conversation going on at once because of the size of the group. I haven't found a solution. I just never participate in conversations with more than two or three people who know me well. :roll:

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azzazinator
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18 Dec 2012, 7:15 pm

emimeni wrote:

Oh yes. The only good thing about multi-person conversations are, that I can hide it when I loose attention. If more than one conversation is going on at the same time, I can't focus on either of them. Background noise just make the situation even more unbearable. The result is usually, that people have to repeat themself several times before I can understand them. Then I prefer to shut up at just try to listen, nod and laugh at the right times ...

I prefer one-to-one anytime.

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emimeni
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18 Dec 2012, 7:19 pm

azzazinator wrote:

I can totally relate to this entire paragraph, though I often don't even manage to nod and laugh at the right times. In that particular aspect, you are doing better than me.

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azzazinator
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18 Dec 2012, 7:24 pm

LizNY wrote:

but in conversation? forget it. i'm at a lost and struggle with this every day. while i'm listening i have to remind myself to keep listening and try to maintain eye contact and what's the appropriate facial expression.....and after 4 minutes i'm ready to run for the door. is this just me....?.....

I remember the problem from high school. In elementary school, I was much smarter than the other kids, so it was never a problem that I had to take attention breaks, and everything was repeated numerous times anyway. I high school I noticed that my attention span was way to short to be able to keep up....

Most of the time I don't have the resources to listen, maintain eye-contact and smile or nod at the same time ...

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MrXxx
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18 Dec 2012, 7:29 pm

Ooccoo wrote:

MrXxx wrote:

I...

[img]Image%20redacted%20for%20brevity[/img]

crap, what was the question?

[img]Brevity%20again[/img]

Seems apt =P

Exactly! You got the point. :wink:

azzazinator
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18 Dec 2012, 7:31 pm

emimeni wrote:

I can totally relate to this entire paragraph, though I often don't even manage to nod and laugh at the right times. In that particular aspect, you are doing better than me.

Well ... I've had a few more years to practice than you have ... But to be honest, I can't see any improvements anymore as the years go by.

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knifegill
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18 Dec 2012, 8:08 pm

As soon as the other person's words dissolve into meaningless noises, I start repeating them out loud, which quickly turns into/closely imitates me replying. A conversation often goes like this:

Me: (exaggerated friendliness, sarcastic recycled line, greeting, attempt to get straight away from talking, failure)

Them: Well, my dog's aunt's little brother's unimportant skyscraper project was only half done... (I've tuned out by now and only the word skyscraper rings in my head. I cling to it, wait a few leisurely seconds, and simply exclaim out loud with strong eye contact and feigned interest, tall posture and a smile, "SKY SCRAPER?! Wuuut?")

They smile, pleased that I was paying attention and feeling important because I cared enough to ask a stupid question about their meaningless babble. Then they ramble a little longer, already swayed that I'm listening and happy I care, I get busy doing something, and we end the conversation by getting to work. Then we stay friends because I cared for a minute, then started ignoring them, and broke even. And the next time they see me, I'm the person who acted interested in their unimportant skyscraper story, they forget about how the conversation ended. I win.

azzazinator
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18 Dec 2012, 8:19 pm

knifegrill wrote:

They smile, pleased that I was paying attention and feeling important because I cared enough to ask a stupid question about their meaningless babble. Then they ramble a little longer, already swayed that I'm listening and happy I care, I get busy doing something, and we end the conversation by getting to work. Then we stay friends because I cared for a minute, then started ignoring them, and broke even. And the next time they see me, I'm the person who acted interested in their unimportant skyscraper story, they forget about how the conversation ended. I win.

You really made me smile

Your way of telling it really hit the nail on the head. It's so perfectly true. Most NT's just feed on attention.

BUT... There is a downside. Often they become so happy because you show some (fake) interest in their meaningless babble, that they just keep on and on and on, and unfortunately with YOU as the prime traget ... I do not like that.....

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Kairi96
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19 Dec 2012, 1:55 pm

roccoslife wrote:

Kairi96 wrote:

My only way to deal with it is to take homeopatic meds. There's no other way.

Ive been thinking about doing that, what sort of stuff do you take? Does it really help?

I take hempseed oil oil; while other products derived from hemp are illegal here in Italy, hempseed oil is legal (you can buy it at the pharmacy), and yes, it does help really much. I'm much less hyperactive when I take it, and I'm also able to concentrare more. Also, it helps me with my social issues.

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