Why don't people with aspergers look people in the eye?

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Yes, I concur with lack of instinct. Also, I have tried to look people in the eyes. I don't understand the importance. I don't see how this is giving me any extra information about the person I am speaking to. More frequently I will look at a person's lips in order to confirm that the words I hear are consistent with the lip movements. There is nothing wrong with my hearing but I will sometimes jumble syllables together when I hear them. The lip reading helps to alleviate that issue. Will also look at a person's hands if they are gesturing with them.

I stare intently at people's eyes when I am bored with what they are saying and my brain is not working anymore. Staring at their eyes blocks out the sound of their talking. I do it automatically when I am bored bored bored. I think that this might be giving people the impression that I am suddenly more interested in what they are saying, so they keep going on and on and on. But I can't not do it either. It's automatic. Apparently, listening to people talk is much worse to my brain than looking people in the eye.

I do that to . . . I like to constantly scan the room.

It's just uncomfortable, sometimes even frightening.

I am not comfortable doing it and it feels like prickly branches.

for me, pairing pupils to pupils is like if i wanted to learn about the ocean and instead of taking a class or reading a book or sitting on the coast or getting on a boat or going to the aquarium, i just jumped right into the middle of it and sunk all the way to the bottom.

For me I never really thought about it untill it was pointed out to me, I find it intimidating and uncomfortable to make eye contact.

It's weird and uninteresting? Also, I can't focus on what a person is saying while making eye contact... or speak for that matter.

my problem is not that i can't look people in the eye, but that i go in the opposite extreme direction and drill my gaze [intensity] right through the back of everybody's skulls.

Eye contact = strange itching sensation in the back of my neck, followed by intense headache and chronic pain in my eyeballs. Feels like they are boring into the back of my head thru my eyes when ppl look at me and i look back.

In my case, it's because my eyes start burning if I look someone else in the eyes for more than a few seconds.

I've noticed something interesting with my cat. My mother can stare into his eyes and nothing happens but if I stare into his eyes he lunges at me.

Eye contact can make you feel vulnerable or embarrassed and can be a sign of aggression.

if I make eye contact my lower lip twitches and I feel a shocked sensation.

Not sure.......

But I have often wondered why that after finishing talking with someone I remember their mouth.

Have seen this said about AS. It was a big surprise to read it was a communication characteristic, because for years I thought it was kinda odd I remembered (concentrated) on peoples mouths.

I am able to look into eyes. I am old and perhaps taught myself to do so???

I have more trouble bothering to talk at all polietly with 'slow processors' than I have trouble looking at them.

Spocks Daughter

Well, to put it simply, we often have trouble with eye contact because it doesn't come naturally to us. Most people' naturally pick up body language, but aspies don't have that capability. Instead, we need to learn it like one learns a second language; with lots and lots of practice. This is cognitively exhausting, though, as we are always having to think consciously about these things that are second nature to most people.
This makes eye contact quite uncomfortable for most of us and it's why we often struggle with it.

Hope this helps.

I don't like it and I don't understand why it is so important.