"Depending on your mothers age, she may be bewildered by the "if it is not normal it is crazy" belief common in the 1950's and 60's. Mental health was and is taboo."
I was born in the 80's, so I don't herald from the 50's era, but this idea seems to fit all too well to the vibe I've gotten from only older people regarding mental illness. In North America we've had sexual revolutions and feminist movements and racial movements, but we haven't had a 'mental illness' movement yet. Not that I'm saying there should be one (hard to celebrate disability), but rather I'm pointing out that other outdated social views regarding subgroups of people have had a lot of time and effort into trying to eradicate them. And they've had a huge impact on society's thoughts. But there's never been such a thing regarding mental illness. Sure there's a few adds on TV now and then, but most people are still fairly unaware about what they are, and there's still lots of negative stigma associated with it. And it always seems to be the older people who are strongly against the idea of having one; young people who don't get it are just like 'haha, you're derpy' or just think you're full of yourself, whereas it's only members of the older cohort who will spit fire at you for daring to bring up the idea of mental illness or mental disability. Very much taboo. (Of course not everyone who was born in the 40s and 50s thinks this way, and I've met a couple people in my age group who I wouldn't want to tell about my depression for certain, due to lack of understanding.)
I suppose not too long ago (and still around today in some places unfortunately), there's the fear of being put into an institution that treats you like some sort of weird animal, where an individual loses all their rights. My gratefully short experience with institutionalization was awful even though it was at what I've heard called one of the top places in North America to get sent to.
To the OP: Maybe you could try leaving pamphlets or magazine articles from not-esoteric magazines that are about ASD? Get her to read some links from credible places about what ASD really is? Get your mom to think about it for herself, without having to have her worry about sharing her thoughts and experiences with you about it. My whole family's got an odd assortment of mental illness issues, and you'll not meet anyone so adamant that there's nothing wrong with them even though everyone else around them sees them as floundering. For instance, everyone in my immediate family should get tested for celiac disease because I have it, (sheer chance and numbers shows 1/10 chance they have it, that's pretty high) and it can be silent for years or they might have esoteric symptoms that they don't even realize are them. But it's taken me well over a year to finally get my dad to get fully tested for it. My sister still has only gotten her blood test for it. It's totally counter-productive for me to say 'Hey, you have some symptoms, you should get tested.' I can, however, say 'Yeah, nerve pain and damage and poor tooth enamel and tiredness are fairly common symptoms of celiac disease, it's not all about having diarrhea.' And they'll make the connection for themselves in their own head with their own symptoms, and at least they'll get to thinking about it. But I daren't tell them 'you have symptom x y and z, it's likely you shouldn't be eating gluten'.
All you can do is lead the horse to water, you can't make them drink. Ultimately your mom needs to decide for herself if she thinks she has it, and then it's her decision to get tested if she wants. And it's her choice to talk or not talk to you about her own experiences that may or may be causes by an ASD.
Get your 2 year old tested for ASD, and while you're at it, see if you yourself can get an official diagnosis if it matters to you at all.
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Not autistic, I think
Prone to depression
Have celiac disease
Poor motivation
13 Nov 2013, 3:26 pm
