Do your family and friends understand your autism/asperger's

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ImAnAspie
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03 Dec 2013, 7:17 am

When I was first diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, my initial reaction was one of anger. I didn't believe it (even though I had no idea what Asperger's was). Little did I know but my family did research on it after the first diagnosis.

Years later, I was diagnosed with it a second time by a different psychiatrist. When I tried to deny it to my family a second time, my denial was met with uproarious laughter. That kind of led me to read about it which then kind of made it hard for me to deny it. It was me to a T!

Strange thing was, on both occasions of seeing the psychiatrists, neither was for a diagnosis. I was seeing the first one for depression and the second one years later for alcoholism. Go figure. :?


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Joe90
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03 Dec 2013, 1:16 pm

I do feel sorry for you and it's a shame people can't learn to put themselves in your shoes. I suppose you're still expected to put yourself in other people's shoes.

My family just know me for who I am, and they all know I've got Asperger's, and so don't know any different. But there are sometimes times where I feel people in my family don't understand how I might be feeling about something, so I find I've got to keep arguing and explaining myself over and over until they get it. My mum is the type of person where you've got to explain everything in every little detail in order for her to get what you're saying. She can't seem to read between the lines. I can expect that from a child or an adult with a disorder like Asperger's, but I thought NTs could ''read between the lines'', unless for some it's a quirk or a personality trait. Otherwise, I can't complain too much about how my family see me. I do get overwhelmed with my family sometimes, but I can't expect them to understand that because I think I have become a bit too passionate about my routine or privacy being interrupted.

My friends don't know I have Asperger's, (except for the people at work), but my friends do know that I have some sort of anxiety disorder, and they understand that. I used to have friends who didn't understand me at all, and only wanted to use me to get me to do what they wanted, and got nasty if I became assertive. Perhaps that's why I have problems with being assertive now.


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03 Dec 2013, 2:06 pm

thankfully for me my parents accepted long ago that i'll never be social or outgoing or normal, even before i was diagnosed.
i'm sorry that your parents don't understand you or even seem willing to try and understand you... it's really hypocritical of them to accuse YOU of not caring when THEY don't seem to be able to empathize with you or your 'condition' at all :x



ImAnAspie
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03 Dec 2013, 6:05 pm

I'm lucky in one respect and that is, although she has never been diagnosed, the general consensus in the family is that Mum's an Aspie as well and she doesn't deny it either. She's always been very honest (blunt), saying the first thing that comes to mind, always wanted/needed and valued alone time and never had/needed any friends. She doesn't get irony or sarcasm a lot of the time. She's an independent thinker, strong willed, unique problem solver - marches to the beat of her own drum. We do get along well. She's a lot like me. I'm a lot like her. I keep trying to talk her into spending time at my sister's so I can be alone and she keeps trying to get rid of me so she can be alone - in a nice sort of way :)


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Your Aspie score: 151 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200

Formally diagnosed in 2007.

Learn the simple joy of being satisfied with little, rather than always wanting more.



Fisplen
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03 Dec 2013, 6:26 pm

My Mum has a simple understanding of what Aspergers is, she basically knows what she has been told by doctors who diagnosed me back in '05.

Meanwhile a select couple of my friends have a simple understanding of how I view the world as well, although most of my friends are not aware that I have something that affects me.

I had an interesting conversation with this girl in school the other day, she explained to me she knows that people like me can get misunderstood she stated that people with AS couldn't make eye contact and also a few other things, mostly accurate and I was glad someone took the time to research into why I act the way I do.

It was interesting seeing an NT's perspective of how I view things.



webster
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03 Dec 2013, 11:57 pm

My close family does *my mum, sister and brother* but the rest of my family don't really "get it". As for my friends only a couple really understand everything.

With my mum she knew me fully anyway even before I was diagnosed at around 12 so there was nothing for her to understand about my Aspergers she just thought that was the way I was.

I find with like 98% *probs not a real estimate* of people they "think" they know about Aspergers and what I deal with but it's just ignorance on their part. I think a lot of people are finding the wrong information about Aspergers and just make the mistake of thinking they know everything about it.


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dottsie
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04 Dec 2013, 6:58 pm

I don't really think they fully understand, but they're not rude about it at all. My parents accommodate me as best as they can, if I need it. And my friends, for the most part, don't know, but the ones that do know are pretty cool about it.



Autism_Us
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04 Dec 2013, 9:24 pm

I am an NT engaged to an Aspie. He found out last year that he has AS and we were just friends at the time. I always knew he was different, I have known him for over 8 years. He asked if I would still be his friend and I said of course! Why would this change any feelings? Needless to say we are engaged and are expecting our first child together. I understand who he is and I respect him. I give him his space when he needs it and we rarely argue or disagree. I think people need to be sensitive to things that might affect an Aspie and the same goes for anyone. I am sorry that some of your friends and family don't accept you or respect you for who you are. I am hoping to help change this. My family has accepted my fiancé for who he is and they understand his AS. I try to help other NTs who are in a relationship with someone who has AS by using my own experiences. My fiancé goes through a lot of daily struggles and I support him any way I can.



chtucker18
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05 Dec 2013, 10:35 pm

Family, yes friends, some do



Caz72
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06 Dec 2013, 1:21 pm

my parents didnt really want an autistic child, but loved me enough anyway because i was their child. but now both my parents unfortunately died of untimely deaths and i dont get to see my son much and im not close to any other relatives of mine, i might see my uncle sometimes, who understands me.

some colleagues of mine are nice and understanding but most are not, although they could try to make more effort to understand but they dont. my husband understands me a lot and i mean a lot, and his mum likes me too and she rather him be with someone like me because he has adhd and some learning difficulties so she feels he is more emotionaly secure with me. my husbands best mate who he grew up with understands me too, and although he wife is the type to judge people quite harshly, she has made a big effort to understand me. also my boss understands me too, which makes some think that its favouratism and so it causes hostility towards me, but i dont care for friends anyway. im just glad i have a husband that understands me and at least a few others around me that do too.



vickygleitz
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06 Dec 2013, 2:17 pm

I have not even told my family. It would only provide more ammunition to be used against me.



Trainbuff
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06 Dec 2013, 6:59 pm

My family doesn't understand it, very frustrating but what you do you do..