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Is this Social Phobia, Shyness, or something else?

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bumble
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13 Jan 2014, 3:47 am

beneficii wrote:
There might be a little bit of social anhedonia (lack of pleasure in socializing) thrown in, though that's hard to measure in the presence of co-occurring social anxiety (which does seem present in your post). If you're concerned about it, I'd bring it up with the mental health professionals you see, because I'm honestly not sure what to think of it.

Social anhedonia is where you are simply not interested in interacting. Basically, social anxiety and anhedonia work like this:

Social anxiety by itself:
Negative feelings increase when you socialize verses being alone and positive affect decreases.
Generally, when you are alone, you may still want to interact with others, and would often prefer to be with others (because there is an interest in socializing); when interacting with others, however, whether you want to be alone or socialize will depend on your level of anxiety.

Social anhedonia by itself:
Positive feelings increase when you are alone verses socializing, but negative feelings do not change.
Generally, when you are socializing, you want to be alone. When you are alone, you want to stay alone (because there is no interest in socializing).

Again, though, social anhedonia is difficult to spot in the presence of co-occurring social anxiety. Wikipedia, though, does list some signs and symptoms which may suggest the presence of social anhedonia, but I would definitely want to run it by your mental health professionals, as well:

Quote:
Decreased ability to experience interpersonal pleasure
Social withdrawal/isolation
Decreased need for social contact
Lack of close friends and intimate relationships, and decreased quality of those relationships
Poor social adjustment
Decreased positive affect
Flat affect
Depressed mood
State-related anxiety


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia ... _anhedonia

Social anhedonia as a trait (i.e. as a permanent part of your personality) is a schizoid/schizotypal personality trait (which traits correlate with autism spectrum disorders), while social anhedonia as a state (i.e. as a temporary thing) is a symptom of depression.
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What if you are only able to enjoy socialising in certain contexts or for short periods of time (ie perhaps the company of a lover due to desiring emotional bonds and affection) but do not enjoy socialising in other situations and have no desire for it (ie going to a party for the purposes of making social chitty chat with strangers).

Also content of chitty chats can make a difference. If the conversation is about a shared interest or amusing it can be enjoyable. If on the other hand it is about peoples social escapades etc then it is not so much fun (boring to be exact but I can't really say that without social chit chats thinking I am trying to insult them when I am actually just trying to explain my feelings/experiences).

Is that either social anheonia or social phobia?

To the OP I get similar symptoms socially except that there are times I don't want to chit chat because I am happily absorbed in my own thoughts (no as in narcissistic thoughts, more that I might be lost in a train of thought about philosophy and the nature of reality, or playing piano scales in my head as I am presently learning to play etc) and don't appreciate being disturbed in order to make chitty chat.

At other times however, I can seek out chitty chat if I am feeling social that day.

Oddly I tend to feel more social when I am depressed as my depression stems from my inability to make friendships and maintain them. I do enjoy socialising with people I share a connection with, I just cannot connect with most people and this means I feel lonely. Their world is not a place I seem to be able to enter.



bumble
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13 Jan 2014, 4:01 am

Rocket123 wrote:
dianthus wrote:
It all sounds completely normal to me. Do you WANT to socialize with people in situations like this?


If socializing is defined as standing around and talking about nothing in particular, then no. That is not something I particularly enjoy doing. Though, I suppose it some ways, it depends upon the circumstances. I particularly do not like large gatherings where it's all about talking with others (be it parties, events - like the one I described above or networking events).

Now, I am OK with smaller "get togethers" (say, tagging along with my wife when her girlfriends and spouses get together). At those, I spend most of my time listening. I typically do not talk that much. I can do those every once in a while.

When I was younger, several of us (including my wife) would get together and play cards. I thought that was fun. But that is less about talking and more about playing a game.

There are times, that I don't mind having discussions with people. Particularly, when I have something to say (about a topic that interests me).

I am now quite curious about this social anhedonia thing. And whether my response to socializing is caused by an ongoing, underlying, mild depression that was cited, during my recent diagnosis. I am also curious whether drugs would make me more interested in socializing.


I have a diagnosis of social anxiety and depression and I can lack interest in socialising when it is just standing around making social chitty chat.

I tried drugs and they failed me. I still don't enjoy socialising in the circumstances I outlined above. Improving my mood does nothing but make me even more obsessed with my hobbies. My whole life revolves around them as it is. At the moment it is sharks, riding buses along the coast and sometimes taking photographs and learning to play piano.

I am not really interested in much else. Basically I live for my hobbies when I have them (it used to be the link between nutrition and mental health (spent hours of my life researching that) and cross stitching. Before that it was jigsaw puzzles, as a child it was collecting bank forms. I would not play with the other children often because I would prefer to play by myself (either with my bank form collection..i think i used to like to file them and/or fill them out..i was only 5 it was a long time ago and drove my parents nuts as I would not play with the dolls they bought me instead...or I would play taffic jams with my brothers matchbox cars which involved lining them up (traffic jams get it? Lines of cars going no where?) all over the front room floor. That also drove my parents nuts, no one could get in the lounge. I also had to watch my scooby undisturbed every day. Upset my viewing and pandemonium would break lose as I launched off into a tantrum from hell as my mother called them).

I think about them first thing in the morning, I think about them all through lunch and dinner, I arrange my day so that I have plenty of time for them, I get distracted by them instead of doing my chores, I read about them on the bus, I get upset when people disrupt me and I wanted to work on them...I basically obsess.

I may also have some OCD.

But I just wanted to point out that, whilst drugs might work for you, they certainly didn't work for me.

I still did not make any friends, still could not hold down relationships and still struggle socially (I find it beyond exhausting...its complete wipe out sometimes...no can function afterwards. All I can do is come home and pass out. Either that or I flip out due to the stress of it all..the pressure to keep talking and thinking of things to say, the trying to make eye contact whilst focusing on the conversation (holy cow I can hear them without needing to look at them), the getting their social games wrong and making a social f**k up that causes me to ostracised from social circles everywhere, trying to hear people over the background noise (what? Pardon? Im sorry can you repeat that? What?...all i hear are bits and pieces of words or sentences and can't really piece them together to mean anything as I can't tune the noise out in order to be able to hear them).

It all gives me a headache and I find it so unpleasant that I will often avoid socialising for that reason alone. I dont always feel anxious though..just exhausted. My social anxiety only occurs in certain situations (on a date, at an interview and giving a presentation when I am not well versed in the material...if I am confident in what I know I am fine giving people lectures on it... :lol:

Hope you get the answers you seek. Sorry if I digressed, I have a bad habit of doing that.