Do people patronise you?

Post Reply New Topic

I think my default expression comes across as 'lost and confused', so people always ask me if I need help. Especially at the grocery store, because I have to stare at things forever before I can decide what to buy!

It makes me laugh though. I think people assume I'm not competent enough to choose what type of spaghetti sauce I want – but in reality my brain is calculating a complex equation of cost vs. size vs. ingredients vs. nutritional value...

The only people who did that were the ones who should have been supporting me in developing a sense of basic self-sufficiency, such as most of the "help" I sought when I was younger. Perhaps they thought I was too autistic to tell or be affected by it.

A classmate tonight commented that I was very quiet, but I don't think it was in a patronizing way. I do kind of hide out in the back of class and rarely speak. Most people who don't know my diagnosis think I seem quiet, strange, or reserved and treat me accordingly, and that's fine with me.

It's the same for me! I take forever to pick out what I want when I'm shopping. I am so indecisive and I think I must have a perpetually confused look on my face. People ask me "are you sure?" a lot too.

Condescension is a method of making you weaker, so that a person can dominate you. It tells you a lot about what they think the power relationship is, when they feel the need to do this.

My mom does this to me sometimes, although I don't think she means to.

I had a professor who did this to me last semester. She was just trying to be helpful, but the way she invaded my personal space, leaned over the way one does to small children, and attempted to align our faces to force eye-contact, as well as the patient smile she always wore, made me feel both amused and a little irritated that she should feel the need to treat me this way when she so clearly didn't do it to anyone else, and also rather guilty for being irritated, seeing as she was only trying to be supportive, but going about it in rather a bumbling fashion. The funny thing is, she treated me perfectly normally right up until the point where I told her I had AS, and the very next time I went to talk to her, it was like all her protective instincts went into overdrive or something. In spite of all that, she was still a good teacher and a nice person, and I would be happy to take one of her classes again.

Me too.

Honestly, I find patronizing worse than outright disdain. I mean outright disdain can be nasty too and I experienced most of that when I was younger but patronizing J just find offensive because I want to be treated like a normal functioning human being. My intelligence isn't lower than average, I can walk and talk just fine. I just happen to be a little quirky, struggle with eye contact, etc. I guess though thinking about it makes me realize why I value my current circle of friends. I don't feel patronized by them and I think they have pushed me to do more socially and stuff then I would if I had friends that just pitied me. I don't want pity.

am constantly patronized by society because of being obviously different-in looks,communication and behavior.
people think am stupid but its great when they find out just how clever am at doing things they cant begin to understand such as penetration testing or linux.

the other day was sat in costa coffee with the two support staff of mine ,had the laptop out and was using wireshark and showing the support staff kali linux.
a woman came over and got chatting with self and the staff-as she has an young autistic daughter,she coudnt have been more complimentary about how am very clever with computers and to the general public altering peoples views of severe autism,it felt great having a non patronizing normie attempt to interact instead of ignoring.

Has anyone ever watched the cartoon "Daria?" My tone of voice is something close to that all the time, particularly before 11:00am on any day. That must add to why I sometimes get patronized.

yes,used to really like watching that when it was on,the character has since been labeled with aspergers though if are a fan of it am guessing probably know all that already.

patronise them back if possible,it works,they dont like it and get the idea.

All the time, it's one of the many reasons that I'm A) usually in a bad mood when it comes to other people, and B) not a real social person. It's gotten very old.

Some people do, some people don't, it depends. Some kids at school do, and some teachers. Doctors also tend to as well, it annoys me., considering I'm smarter most people my age.

That's what happened with me by my niece when got to discussing about my apartment "Awww, I'm so proud of you!"

And she is younger then me.

I'm guessing the social affectation that we display comes off as 'unusual,' leading NTs to assume that we are somehow mentally deficient. But it is difficult to convey the opposite at times, especially when one is mentally fatigued and the 'sociability' is little more then artifice.

Heh, no wonder I relate to her an awful lot now, aside from her being female and I'm male.

That seems to happen to me a lot. Just recently a girl at work was doing this. She usually seems nice to me most of the time, but it felt like she was belittling me. It's frustrating when people seem to think I'm not able to do certain things that I can do and judge my intelligence by what I do or say. Then it's kind of hard to know how to respond because sometimes it's hard to tell what their intentions would be. I would feel bad to act unfriendly towards someone if they were just trying to be nice to me without meaning to talk down to me.