What do people really think about us?

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They did understand, in my case. Namely, the times I didn't do so well were precisely when I didn't explain anything. I thought everything was going okay and there was no need to explain anything, and then BAM and something went awry.

I find I can't read body language because I can't infer anything. Movements to me are just movements, colors are just colors, sounds are just sounds, etc. Even processing language is very taxing on my system; reading is easier than listening, but it's still exhausting. I see the world as extremely piecemeal; I fixate on little things people wear or objects in my environment and shifting my focus to more global stimuli is literally painful mentally.

I can pattern things in my mind, but my processing is very slow. Despite all this, people say I've been extremely successful up to this point, even more successful than many NTs. I just want to be more successful because it's never good enough

If I make a profile pic with my face, I want it all nice and fancy. I will get my mom (an amateur photographer) to take some "modeling" pics of me this summer and then I'll put one of the pics as my avatar.

Yes, of course they understood; they understood where you flawed which, in their minds, gave them a brief sense of security. That's what you're trying for, seriously?

Just by how you're describing your attempts at body language, I really think you're trying too hard to succeed at it; it's like you're pushing on a door that says "pull".

Never good enough for who: you or them? Cause if it's the latter, that's actually not the case; they're projecting their own insecurities on you as a reaction to how much you intimidate them. Trust me, in the social world, non-Autistic folks are essentially "out for blood"; as soon as one of them screws up enough, they get eaten alive.

Believe me, I too was once at the point where I wanted to "educate" people about Autism. As far as I'm concerned, they're not ready for it yet. Ok, fine; instead I'll just excel in my own life. Those who want to be a part of it are welcome to come along for the ride

But it's not a flaw, it's a difference. I'm not trying to succeed at it at all. I'm only trying to succeed at everything that's important for me. I'm not good enough for myself or my expectations; I have certain notions of perfection and always try to strive toward them. Writing them all here would be lengthy. I'm not sure if that's really what I have seen in terms of NTs; some of them really do enjoy just learning and experiencing things just like I do, not in a predatory way.

I don't see this as educating people per se. I generally try to find commonalities between myself and NTs and build on them. But sometimes things that are different about me surface, so then I do explain so that we could get along without misunderstandings.

and in their mind, it's a flaw. That's my point. Yeah, the perfectionism is something I will say you might want to work on. I used to be a perfectionist; I realized it was from having very little frame of reference of success vs failing to go on (being Autistic, and having a very limited knowledge of these things, understand), but also from having a sense of inferiority, and I had to work on that.

The thing is even if they do enjoy learning...do they honestly understand and grasp what you're telling them, or do they just say they do? One thing very common I notice with the non-Autistic world is a desire to avoid hurting others' feelings, and just trying to be polite. It's a phoniness that I understand the intentions of, but I think it's not a good concept in execution.

I've often wondered that in the past, but I really don't give a s**t about what they really think of us.

good, I wouldn't waste your time worrying over it

Bla I just don't care anymore....I am on SSI currently tryinng to come up with a plan to get off it some day, what I'd really like to do is start a brewery and make awesome beer. I've recently decided to just be myself and see how people react, I need social connection so maybe a wee bit desperate but have to be myself so I can seperate from real friends and advantage takers.

I also would like to learn sword fighting, so thinking of looking up fencing classes and such to find prices and see if there is anything I could afford. Basically I love game of thrones which is what got me intrested in the idea. But it would also be a good skill, I mean what if I have to defend myself and all I can grab is a stick? well at least if I know how to use it like a sword I have a chance of getting away.

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 20 Apr 2014, 12:38 am, edited 2 times in total.

just be the best you that you can be. And if you need any pointers about brewing/opening up a brewery, I have some friends I might be able to refer you to

Awesome....lol I have no exact plans of starting a brewery, basically because I don't know how....but as far as I know it would be useful to have some land/property for which beer could be brewed on.....but then maybe have to get a licence? not sure of the regulations. I would really like to make a delicious tasting cannabis infused beer like a cannabis infused IPA it would be so good.

you....might have to go to either California or Colorado for that at the moment

My classmates probably think that I'm just insane (not in a good way) and ultra shy with weird obsessions and routines (stimming etc). I rarely speak in school but when I'm asked to speak about Nazi Germany or dinosaurs I don't shut up and can go on for eternity, and drive my classmates up the wall. Pathology is the only obsession that I won't speak about.

Some which immediately occurred to me:
Gay: friend of mine came out to their mother and she immediately assumed friend was in relationship with me
Drug addicted: Same friend's mother (and father, and brother) think I take drugs
Dangerous: walking through college hub, stopped by an army recruiter who began interaction with 'Hello, you look like you would be up for killing somebody'
Cold: (physically, as in low body temperature)
Upset/depressed/anxious/uncomfortable/on verge of tears

Not saying these are due to ASD, just thought would mention.

my studies of history and economics actually caught the attention of a member of the local Freemasons chapter, while I was ringing him up at my job. Yes, I was invited. I haven't joined at this time due mostly to time constraints, but you have no idea the honor it was for me to be invited.....at age 28!

one thing I always tell people: "if you want me to offer my perspective on this or that topic, you'd better be prepared to engage me with something other than some lame-ass talking points I can hear from any news anchor; give me something different, so that we can have an actual adult discussion".

You'd be surprised how little my opinion is asked anymore

And then there's toys...ho ho ho hooooooooooooooooooooo!

Once you get me started on talking about toys, I can go on forever and ever; my ex girlfriend even got me a toy guide featuring toys from the late 1800s to the early 1980s; I love that thing

oh I've been told I come off like most of those things too. I also, in many of my photos, even look like I'm about to murder you myself, and I look like a Spanish thug (even though I'm half Jewish on my Mom's side, and Italian, potentially British and also Irish on my Dad's).

people used to spread rumors in school that they thought I was on drugs too; I semi-recently responded on Facebook by posting a very early performance by Weird Al, and reminding everybody "just remember, he was not doing drugs".

I don't know what they think of "us" but in my case I am pretty sure most people think I am very shy, others may see me as kind of crazy. I am also pretty sure they don't say bad things about me from behind, I am more of the type of person they don't even bother to acknowledge or say anything about (good or bad).
something like: two people gossiping. "this guy is soo ridiculous I can't believe he did it! Hmm..Who we haven't talked about yet?.. What about linatet?" "ah, she's.. okay. What about Rudy? I heard she cheated on her boyfriend!!" etc