Being outed as autistic vs. being outed as gay

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I'm already "out" as both, so I'm not worried about people knowing about either of them. Each has its own problems relating to public disclosure, but in my case I've been able to educate others so that I haven't run into any real problems with either of them ? yet. I've heard of some people here having issues with employment and immigration because of AS. I'm sure the same can be said for being gay in the workplace, although outright anti-LGBTI discrimination is illegal here (with some religious exemptions).

Most people I know have been supportive when I've told them I'm gay or an Aspie (or both). In my personal experience, I've found that Aspergers elicits a lot more sympathy; a few people I know are openly critical about homosexuality, although no-one's directly criticised me for being gay even after I've told them. But more than anything else, people seem kinda surprised about my being either of them.

I'm interested to know what you mean by this Murihiku. When is it ok? How can you exempt someone due to religion?

I've only ever been outed as on the spectrum once, and it was mildly embarrassing.. but overall I think the person who heard the info was a bit more shocked that the other person would have disclosed that about me than the ASD. Further to that, based on their behaviour, I believe the person that said that about me is also on the spectrum and undiagnosed, which explains why they would have blurted that out with no consideration for it's potential impact in the first place. Overall it wasn't a very bad experience or anything, just a little awkward for a moment.

Meanwhile, the whole gay thing.. even though I live in the suburbs of the city with the highest gay population in Canada, there's still a heck of a lot more negative bias against gay people and I've had far greater anxiety over not wanting certain people to know that than the ASD thing. This is because there are still plenty of homophobic people out there who say and do pretty nasty things about/to gay people.

I've never heard of someone hearing someone was autistic and then going on with verbal/physical abuse as a "autiphobe."

As for being gay, I used to have a lot of anxiety about it - especially when my ASD symptoms were strong. Now that they're not, and since I've had some pretty awesome supportive friends & family in my life (both gay and straight), I'm much more comfortably out and care less and less who knows my sexual orientation. I still don't advertise it, but it's a lot more "I'm gay. So what?" than it's ever been for me, even after going through the homophobic situation I posted about int he LGBT forum.

But still, over all, if I were going to anticipate a negative reaction about one or the other, hands down it'd be about the sexual orientation and not the neuro-type.

Both suck. I'm both a member of the lgbt community and autistic, so I can speak from experience.

Even though they both suck, they suck in different ways. If you are outed as lgbt, then people might be hateful towards you. If you are outed as autistic, people might either not believe you, or they might treat you like a baby.

Though I'd say that being outed as gay is worse, since in some situations, your life or well being is at risk. Not in all areas, though, but still.

A lot of jurisdictions with anti-discrimination laws have such exemptions. In Australia, you generally can't fire someone from their job just because they're LGBTI. But, for example, a religious organisation (e.g., school, church, hospital) can openly refuse to hire an LGBT person (the exemptions don't apply for intersex people, though). The rationale is that to legislate otherwise would be a violation of religious freedom, another protected right in anti-discrimination laws. Each jurisdiction has to decide a balance for themselves.

^ so it's wrong to be homophobic, but it's ok if you are religious?

I have so many things I could say about that, but it probably belongs in a s*@t fight in PPR, so will refrain. It's too nice a day to get into an argument.

At least the Aussie government has started along the right track. Seriously though, we are well into the 21st Century. I thought we would be well past caring about anybody's sexual orientation by now.

Well said. All of it.

And yes, there are "religious," laws in some parts of the USA that essentially condone homophobia.

Yep, I've been in way too many online debates on this topic ... waaaaaay too many. And you're right, it really is just too nice a day outside for it today. It's fascinating how people can hold earnest but very different opinions on things: like how some people, for example, think same-sex marriage is an extension of basic human rights, while others just as earnestly believe that it's a degradation of human dignity. Change is certainly possible, but in the real world (and from personal experience) it takes time ? and a lot of hard yards. We'll probably get there, though.

At least there aren't any religious objections to autism ? conservative commentators like Michael Savage notwithstanding .

The question needs an option for "both" even to write this, I find it hard to be autistic spectrum AND gay, though some of the responses before me tell other people have this situation too. Is it possible that an inordinate number/percentage of the gay community is on the autistic spectrum?

^ from one study I read, I believe it is the other way around.

Being gay does not make you more likely to be autistic, but for some reason apparently being autistic seems to produce a higher than normal proportion of gays.

I always think what people mean by gay as a lifestyle is going out and dating other guys instead of women. Can we all agree that dating and being in a relationship and getting married is a lifestyle? I call mine one.

I'd like to be outed as both things, because those things are both my reality.