Watching ppls mouth when they talk.

Post Reply New Topic

I generally look 'em right in the mouth. I have found that I really won't explode my head with an eye stare, and use it sometimes. But mouth is easier. If you don't like mouths; ears, forehead, and nose will worl okay too.

Too often though, I just stare away from people. That's even easier - more like talking to myself, except the ideas differ. It's especially useful when talking and walking - if you look at people, you run into things.

I watch peoples mouths whenever I'm actually looking at them but I usually try to find something else to look at instead.

Desmond Morris wrote a book on human body language "Manwatching - A Field Guide to Human Behaviour" which I used to read from cover to cover to pick up tips on how to interact with people. It's a really interesting book. The bits on eye contact are absolutely baffling. Apparently the person starting to speak first glances at the other person, then looks away until he's finished speaking, then he looks at them briefly again. The other person watches them throughout this, then when it's their turn, they do the same thing - glance, look away whilst speaking, glance back. This is how NT people know when to start and stop talking. It's also why I never really do - it happens too fast and too subtly for me to spot, and I probably end up making far too much eye contact or not enough and talking over other people or never being able to judge when it's my turn. It certainly is easier just to look at their mouths or somewhere else. I can manage conversations much easier if I'm driving as I don't have to look at anyone.

Yeah, I've caught myself doing this, hmm.

I've done this since I was young, since I have difficulty understanding concepts on speech alone, but for some reason speech accompanied by either lip reading or text reading helps GREATLY

However I read somewhere that an indication of sexual interest is focusing on the mouth (e.g. someone looking down at your lips while you talk) so in order to keep my actions from being misinterpreted I make brief eye contact and look away, since I notice as well, like I read a few replies above, that a lot of NTs are terrible at eye contact as well, glancing briefly or not at all. Or maybe this is just a specific reaction to me, since I tend to maintain intense eye contact since I'm more comfortable doing that then gauging the length of time to maintain eye contact, what I should be looking at when I look away, and when it's appropriate to look back up, etc. It's a really uncomfortable cycle.

Hehe.

(Although I'm one of those who tends to run into things, anyway.)

I rarely even look at anybody who speaks to me, but usually if I do look at the person speaking, its at their eyes very quickly. Can't hold eye contact, it just feels too weird to me.

For me, watching peoples' mouths move when they talk is almost as scary as making eye contact. I don't look at their faces at all.

ive always done this but i thought it has occured from when i had supposive 'hearing difficulties' when i was little

I need to look at a person's lips to augment my poor hearing/auditory processing issues.

All this time I’ve been wondering why I seem to be the only person who notices when the video and audio go out of sync on a TV show! Other people only notice it after I say something… then they seem to have to physically watch for it (“oh yeah… it IS out of sync!”)

Definition, Human Eyes: Pools of neon death.


I mean it man! They'll kill you!

I watch people's mouths when they're talking unless I make a conscious effort to look at their eyes. I'm never sure how much eye contact to make though, and I think sometimes I stare too much and make people feel uncomfortable.

I don't have problems maintaining eye contact now but I don't know when to look away, and people've told me it's uncomfortable maintaining a gaze for 'that long'. If they'd just tell me how lengthly long is, I'd oblige. I'm a bit afraid of offending people if I look away, because she had said maintaining eye contact tells the other person you're paying attention. I used to have a small problem with eye contact. I still consider it to be sort of a dominance thing, and I have to remind myself periodically that in every day interaction, it isn't supposed to be. A friend way back in ninth grade taught me to maintain eye contact through consistent 'No, look at me and don't apologize' every time I spoke to her. It probably helped that she was represented my only outside contact. At least, the only one in the group that talked to me on a regular basis. Took months, and the anxiety had its own little gallery in hell.

Anyway, keeping tabs on how someone's mouth sets when there's a pause helps me figure out their general mood when combined with tone, though, since I'm not really good at reading overall body language.
The last book I read made what I thought I grasped more confusing, and when I tried to apply it to rl what the book said body language meant wasn't what I got from their tone of voice or the shape of their mouth. (Smiling, frowning, et cetera). How are eyes supposed to be expressive, and does anyone know if people really mean eyebrows instead of eyes? At least eyebrows can do something, but eyes just..sit there.

I don't have much body language of my own to compare it to, as I don't gesture with my hands and my posture and overall position tends to stay the same regardless of my mood. Which I've been told also makes people uncomfortable. Afraid I've gotten a bit off topic, I'm sorry.

Eyes are very expressive if you know what to look for. Enlarged pupils generally mean good feelings; people usually have large pupils when they're eating their favourite food, having sex, looking at someone to whom they are attracted, listening to a song they really like, etc. The reverse is also true; smaller pupils often indicate dislike. I work with a guy who always has little pinpoints for pupils and it's creepy. I don't know if he's always like that or if he really hates me.

When someone's eye colour appears a little darker than usual it's usually because they're angry or sad; I think this has something to do with the way they hold their eyelids. Crinkles in the skin at the outer corners of the eyelids generally mean a smile, even if the smile isn't apparent on their lips. Crinkles on the inner corners of the eyes often mean a negative emotion, like anger, sadness, disappointment or contempt.

Unfortunately, none of these signs are accurate 100% of the time. A person might have narrowed eyes because they're tired or find the light too bright or have poor eyesight and are squinting; they might have enlarged pupils because their eyes just naturally look like that all the time or because they're drugged up; etc.