I hate this comment people say!

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I found the above (bold) interesting. I can honestly say this is not true in my life.

So the fact that you are getting attention, maybe that is a good sign for the future.

But yes, if someone did compliment my shirt, I would simply say thanks, and move on.

Okay first, who brought the sex of the person wearing the shirt and the person complimenting the shirt in to the discussion? Are you just trying to turn a thread about small talk and chit-chat being confusing to ASD introverts into another #YesAllWomen v. #NotAllMen flamewar? Is that what you mean when you say you're a Master Thread Killer?

Second, don't blame girls and women for this. Blame rape culture. We've had enough of compliments about our clothes being about nothing but getting into our pants/under our skirts. If that wasn't **your** reason for complimenting her shirt, bully for you. Join the ranks of #NotAllMen.

But don't blame her if she gets defensive on account of her fear that a guy commenting on her shirt is just an opening move in the get-laid game. It's her right to not want to be objectified. If all men could see all women as human beings with our own thoughts, feelings, desires, goals, plans, and dreams, instead of pretty things to look at and think about Mmmmm, SexyTime, women would see compliments from men as just compliments. Women should be allowed to have desires, goals, plans and dreams that don't include sleeping with you.
-_-
But because of men who think that women only like jerks take out guns and kill people because they can't get laid, women see compliments as lewd advances and threats. Blame rape culture, and do something about it.

First, stop harassing women.

Second, call other men out when they harass women.

Third, talk to a person who is a person first, and then after there's a human connection think about her as a woman if you get a sense that there might be some chemistry between you and her.

Or, just keep being a jerk, being not liked by women, and blaming women for having different tastes. There's no accounting for taste. I don't understand women who are attracted to jerks, myself. But that doesn't mean that a woman who gets confused, or scared, or defensive when a leering man compliments her shirt is "only attracted to jerks." It means that she thinks you might be a jerk, and doesn't want you thinking about her and her shirt next time you go jerk off.


I agree with the people who are saying they don't much want to use the shirt as an opener for small talk. People shouldn't assume you want to talk to them just because they like the words and/or pictures on your shirt.

But if they do, just smile, say thank you, and move on. If you're stuck in front of them for a while--like the ticket person at the movie theater--aren't there subtle non-verbal things that we're supposed to be able to learn and neurotypicals are supposed to intuitively recognize as meaning "I'm not comfortable with this conversation, please stop?"

Yeah. When somebody finds the place online that teaches that it'd be good to link it here. I need that tutorial, because when I get to that point, I feel like my body language should be screaming "run away, run away" or "let me go, please just get me out of here!" But some people care more about what they want from you than they do about you getting what you came for and going on with your day. And what they want is to make a human connection.

As an introvert, I don't usually want to make a human connection with random cashiers, shoppers and mall-crawlers. I've already expended all my social energy just trying not to weird out my neurotypical co-workers and family members! So I kind of wish that extroverts would just find another extrovert to shoot the breeze with. I understand the confusion. I do think I've learned to take a compliment, but I can't always do it. Sometimes my batteries are too low.