Do all aspies feel glass wall ?

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A wall? Not really.

Last edited by Lumi on 02 Nov 2014, 10:41 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I've managed to crack my 'wall' a little, but I do feel more isolated than most

My friend has a glass wall.

He says that despite that I mean something special to him, he would not notice/care if I disappeared.

There's always a wall but some relationships are easier than others.

For me there have been exceptions, but the NTs have always engaged in some betrayal at some point. Contact with aspies has been less problematic for sure, but issues can still come up causing the wall of separation again.
I think that the issues with aspies originate from memes shared by NTs. Many aspies copy NTs by enforcing those memes onto others.
It's a form of social contamination.
If an aspie is emulating an NT, then they can be equally as hard to connect with for another aspie.


edit=>
The way to reach through a wall is through a mutual understanding, similar to sharing the same language.

I feel a wall. I'm in my own world inside a glass bubble.
I read that feeling is caused by hyper-connected neurons.
That doesn't sound so bad.

Yes, very much so.
I often have my own dialogue in my head going on when with others as well.......

I quite frequently feel very very distanced from others. Even those who I have known for years, who i care greatly for and who obviously care very much for me. I often just feel very alone.

And it's not a matter of embracing this feeling of being "the only me it is" and then raising that to a height of absurdity or anything. it is that there is just this ever-present feeling that I just don't belong, or fit. That my persepective is unique even among the unique- not in a great way either. In a really painful and sad and isolating way. It's not something i cherish or encourage but something I even try to pretend isn't there.

When i'm feeling well, it can kind of fade... but it is always there.
I hav tried to explain it to people before, but no one would really understand. Other people don't feel it from me, exactly. Or if they do, they don't really want to admit it [which I think may be closer to the truth].

Anyway thank you for mentioning this- I mean... commiseration helps. Not that I'm glad other people experience it but I'm a bit relieved that other people can understand to some extent.

Yes! That's how I described it to my mum when I told her about it, except I used the word 'perspex.'

I've also had the lingering sensation of my perception emanating from my head in a halo around me, though that might have something to do with taking a lot of acid/mushrooms when I was younger
That said, I feel that it might be an awareness of the strange wiring in my brain? Artists like Alex Grey have nailed the depiction of this phenomenon really well:



Anyway, I've tried explaining this to a psychologist and she basically said I've taken drugs too often, but I really think that's a bit of a cop-out and reductive of the very real way I perceive the world. She's a very neurotypical counsellor

There's a documentary called Inner Worlds, Outer Worlds which actually describes the halo of consciousness in light of what Aldous Huxley called the 'perennial philosophy;' underlying themes and motifs which are described in nearly every religion/spiritual movement worldwide. It's free to watch online, and from memory it's part 4 which contains the discussion of the halo imagery.

I'm glad I'm not the only one in a glass/perspex box here. As I said to a friend recently re: depression, it's simultaneously comforting and upsetting because I'm in control of my own world, but knowing that others feel the same way hurts because it's beyond my abilities to help them and I don't think that anybody deserves to feel like that!

Wow. I was stage managing at a gig the other night and had a lot of experiences like this. Really had to push myself to engage with people as I've been feeling really disconnected of late. People know and have been really supportive, particularly at that gig, to the point of engaging with me in a way that they know I'm comfortable with to tell me that they love me. It was amazing but I couldn't quite get 'there,' to the point of really feeling the requisite emotions involved.

At one point a friend grabbed my arm as I was walking past, pulled me in and just hugged my arm. Put his hand on my back. Such a simple gesture but I nearly broke down right there. I had to repress it as I was in the middle of the dancefloor and I think everybody hates people asking them what's wrong when they're crying, ASD or not. It hit me the next day at work; I had to leave and cry. Such emptiness following me around. I wish I could express how much that gesture meant to me.

If i understood right what "glass wall" mean, then yes, i feel it too.

thank you for all your replies. So great to have this forum.

I totally understand the glass wall "intelectually" but i'm trying to FEEL it from my own past NT experiences. I was an immigrant child in the US at age 7. Til i turned 14 and started freshman year HS with a much larger new group of kids I don't think I understood the society, the rhythm, the little customs, (myself coming from another western european society, so it shouldnt have been so difficult). Silly meaningless little things that added up made me feel like I was lacking tons of information and, as a result, direction, confidence. I did feel on the outside looking in. especially since i only had on real friend til H.S.

Your description of your adolescent experience sounds a lot like how I feel much of the time in social/work situations, that is what I believe is the "glass wall" you're talking about. The more you are able to put yourself back in that place, perhaps the more you will understand.

I feel I'm in a place of observing, maybe understanding on an intellectual/rational level but unable to fully integrate and fit in.

Yes, I have always felt the glass wall- starting from the time I was in first grade and could not understand what it was about me, that made my classmates so completely reject me. Even when I strike up conversation with someone and we seem to be hitting it off, I still can't never permeate beyond what most people would call a close acquaintance-ship. I don't know how to get beyond it. The only time I have done that is in 8th grade with a science teacher. I could tell her everything-- we seemed to be connected-- we would always get each other's jokes- etc etc. I feel like that is a once in a lifetime thing and will probably never happen again.