Are you suppossed to smile when meeting people?

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A smile is a type of nonverbal communication that essentially says "I'm friendly towards you and approachable. Hello." Some people fake it, but the human brain reacts to it, anyway.

It's not necessarily true, but people might fear that someone who doesn't give them that signal when they meet is doing so because they're not friendly and don't want to talk to them. This isn't something that has been consciously decided on by people, but body language comes from a mix of culture and human instinct. Maybe everyone sees everyone else saying hello in one way when they're growing up, so them that's just what means "hello".

I think that some of it is a little less arbitrary, such as the idea that someone who speaks up early is seen as more of a part of the meeting and someone to include in decision-making than someone who isn't heard until the very end after everyone else has finished.

* Disclaimer: not a guru

Generally, it's a good idea to smile when greeting/meeting someone. It doesn't have to be a big smile, and you don't have to show your fangs. I am not an open mouth smiler. I usually just smile by bending my lips with my mouth closed. It is my natural smile format. I also don't really like to see other people's gums when they smile, unless they are toothless. They can't do anything about it then. Smiling is a gesture of warmth and friendliness. If you don't smile when meeting and greeting, you are usually perceived as unfriendly, or standoffish, or in a bad mood, or ill. All of these turn people off, so from now on, try to give a little smile when greeting people.

I am a hermit type of person, and don't really like to interact much with other people, but I do have a "howdy neighbor" policy. When I am out in the yard, I smile an wave at neighbors, and occasionally talk to them, as I don't want them to think of me as unfriendly or hostile. This is important, as I live alone and have health issues, so I might some day need their help. They are more likely to do so if they have a positive impression of me. Also, if people have a negative impression of you the nastier ones may sometimes do things to make your life more difficult. Sometimes the local kids will get the idea that you are not a nice person, and then they will mess with your property. I figured this out decades ago, and decided to start my "howdy neighbor" policy back then. I did have a little trouble with a few local kids back then, even with saying hi to them, but they didn't do any real mischief, just said a few nasty words a few times. If I had not been using my "howdy neighbor" policy, they would probably have been a lot worse. I have not had any nasty neighbor problems at my current address, and I have been here 9 and a half years.

I am not an anti social hermit, just a non social one, so saying hi, and being civil to the neighbors feels right and works for me. The neighbors know I am not a social butterfly, and they know I have health issues, but they also know I am not nasty, that I will say hi to them. My "howdy neighbor" policy is a very small thing, but makes a big difference.

While I don't really care what people think of me, it does affect how they treat me, and that does matter to me. The same holds true for you and everybody else. I think you need to institute your own policies of "howdy neighbor", and of giving a little smile when greeting people. It will keep things more civil between you and other people.

I don't smile as my front teeth are crooked and I'm embarrassed about it.

Yes, you are meant to smile. The reason is because it's considered friendly.

Smiling is kind of an interesting thing for me. If I just wanted to consciously put a smile on my face by manipulating the facial muscles. forget it, never gonna happen. My drama teacher in theater class would get on my case about not smiling or my smile look weird and all contorted when I tried. But here's the thing, If I can laugh about something. I can put the most perfect smile on my face. But when I do it. I am not consciously aware that I am actually doing it. To me, it's just an emotional response. It's not uncommon for NT's to tell me that that they saw me smile for the first time, just after I got done laughing about something.

So. If I don't laugh, I don't smile. If I laugh, I'll smile and not know I'm doing it.

I have a question: I am NT (ish, but not AS). When I smile, like a proper smile that isn't just my mouth - even if I force it/ fake it - I actually feel happier and more well-disposed toward others when I do it. Do you not have the same feeling?

When I smile, I SOUND happier, but it takes a lot of effort for me to sustain a full smile for extended periods or on command. School pictures were often very stressful and confusing.

I do smile quite frequently, but it's very faint and hard to tell unless you know my features.

I don't really know. Does laughter make you happy or count as being happy? I've learned that a smile does mean that a person is happy. But as I stated in a previous post. Unless I am in a state of laughter. I can't put a smile on my face if my life depended on it. but once I am in a state of laughter. It's like it just magically happens. BTW: I will admit, It make my face feel real good when it happens. But when I try to fake it, it make my face feel weird and dirty and people looking at me say it just looks disturbing.

No, I dont even smile when I am happy. I dont think I have ever smiled without forcing it. A smile means nothing to me its just a movement.

I have always been confused about the “smiling” thing and have been accused of using a "fake" smile - whatever that means.

Anyhow, I am curious about a couple of things:

#1 - Do NTs consciously or unconsciously smile, when meeting others?
#2 - Is the smile "you're supposed to do" the same as when you smile for the camera (and say "cheese")?

Im confused about this too

I think for most people it's automatic so they don't even think about it when they do it. I find if I keep on doing something and remembering to do it, it becomes automatic because it turns into a habit. I have always smiled when happy or when I got my picture taken. I had no idea smiles could be fake until I was in high school because I thought all smiles were real. If you smile, it's real even if you force it like I've always had for photos. We have some pictures where I am not smiling because of my mood or the day and because I didn't want my picture taken. I always put a smile on my face when I thank people or when we meet and they introduce themselves or if they say hi. It wouldn't surprise me if most NTs faked smiles too for the photos because they were also forcing a smile. I know with babies, you have to make them smile because they won't do it on their own, you have to make them laugh or do something to make them happy so they will smile and boom the photo is taken during the act.

I think this is caring about someone to a degree. To get respect from people, you have to care what they think of you so you don't lose it or so you earn it (most people think it's earn than given until proven they don't deserve it).

I think there is balance in caring what others think and not caring what others think. We just have to care to a point what people think of us in order to have respect and have people be civil or if you want friends and want to get along with people and to keep a job. If no one truly cared what others thought of them, I can't imagine what life be like. Reminds me of the time when I had a boyfriend who didn't care what others thought of him but yet he would complain about being judged and rejected and people not wanting him around but yet he continued doing whatever he wanted and "being himself" over and over and the complaining about people not liking him and not wanting him around and not respecting him. He couldn't have it both ways. Yeah life would probably be just like that for everyone if they did that. I think he did care to a degree what people thought of him because he always complained about not being respected or for being judged and being alienated from people. His family didn't want him around either and I just thought they were abliests and bigots until we were living together and had been together longer. So while he didn't care, he cared enough to complain about the consequences. He just wanted everyone else to bend over backwards and change for him and he does nothing in return.





When I do it for certain situations, I feel it helps me through it and makes me feel like a good person inside and I would feel unfriendly and rude if I don't smile and also do it to make light of the situation. I realize people smile and they get positive results and respect because people will find them friendly and treat them good and be friendly in return and I can't stand attitude so I smile to avoid it. I see it as survival.