Do people call you "negative"?

Post Reply New Topic

All I can say is, "Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst".

No not for most days.

On occasion I get depressed. It might last. And I have been told I look dark or some word like this. But again, this is only if I'm down. And I don't like to share that

I have been called "negative", because I feel miserable in situations where other people are enjoying themselves (like in a noisy restaurant or similarly unpleasant environment.)

No not really, only when I'm being emo or something sometimes haha, I'm usually optimistic and cheerful most of the time

Every single day.

I think people used to consider me negative, but it seems to have gone away now that I've got better social skills. I even get called things like "cheerful" sometimes.

Honestly, even though I have a mental illness that makes me sad and hopeless for no reason, I still think some of you guys are awfully negative.

The incident that I remember the most is a friend calling me "emo" or describing my behavior as being similar to an emo. This was someone I didn't regularly discuss my problems with.

So, what he was saying, is that my default look and behavior came off as someone depressed or emotionally fragile. When he said this I was more often happier than I am now... though I was still struggling. So it's hard to say to what extent that was just my flat effect and monotone voice. I also talk very little which people probably attribute to being depressed or disinterested. Despite having a very obvious stutter and clearly being anxious in most situations.

I'm also not able to enjoy most of the things that other people do. It seems like the more a normal person would be happy in a given situation, the less happy I am. Partially because I realize that expectation and it's hard for me to fake being okay or happy. I couldn't have a conversation if the fate of the universe depended on it.

Sometimes I can't look at people. Because it affects my anxiety too much. As if my eyes are somehow making promises to their eyes that I know I can't keep. Other times I force myself to look at people... or there is simply nothing else to look at... for example if you're eating in a group. I feel like I have a deer in headlights expression. Or look as if I'm staring into space.

I remember when I had a female friend who did that. She'd be in class with me and seem to stare out at the window for several minutes. Perhaps the world inside of her head was more comfortable than the real world. I certainly understand that. I'm glad she was my friend for a while before she moved.

More than negative, I feel different. Sometimes different appeals to people. But they only want you to be just a little different. Like they're is a switch you're meant to set to "just different enough". I am way too different though, too incapable of interacting, and I can't meet people halfway. It feels like my body is a cage sometimes. People can be physically near me and completely unreachable.

I'm sure many of us have a negativity bias due to conditioning, because of us being different and thus being treated badly by others as we grew up.

The main thing I was pointing out is that if you don't have the optimism bias, then people assume you must have a negativity bias. There is a dichotomy, with some sort of critical cut-off point where behaviors get rejected.
This may have to do with individuals having to decide if you are validating their emotions or not.

I think it's wrong to call others negative for their default expressions, tone of voice, and their own life. But I can understand people being frustrated if someone was negative about everything else. Like if every time I said I like something then someone said, "I hate that. I hate pizza. I hate that movie. I hate that person you like. I hate your shoes. I hate your face."

That kind of negativity is like colouring inside someone else's brain in a cruel and senseless manner. Forming negative and mean connotations, as well as probably self-doubt, to where the person might not want to talk to people anymore.

Another example is if you have a passion, like writing or making music, there is a very fine line between helpful criticism and destroying someone's confidence. I realized that as sensitive as I am I'd rather not hear most people's thoughts on my writing. At least until my entire story is finished and I'm done with it... which could take a very long time.

They do call me negative. I am depressed, so that kind of makes sense. It kind of annoys me when people call me negative when I'm putting an effort into not being negative.

yes people call me negative

apparently I have a "quitter's attitude"

I always thought I was just being realistic, but maybe they're right.

People often tell me to cheer up, I think it's because I don't look outwardly happy. Feel like telling people to just assume I'm happy as I'm happy 99% of the time. I've also been told I'm a very negative person at times, but if you go into something with low expectations then pretty much anything is good, no?
But then people often say how are you not more stressed (in relation to lots of assessments and reports at uni).
It's confusing at times, people can't seem to make their mind up about whether I'm happy or not.
I'm very optimistic but also extraordinarily realistic and very cynical.