Biscuitman wrote:
I am getting anxious because a diagnosis of aspergers I would see as positive. It would allow me to not give myself such a hard time and understand the way I am whereas a diagnosis of social anxiety I see as a real negative and will only give myself an even harder time over.
My big thing is people and not dealing with them well. I get anxious around people, I avoid people and shut myself away. That is what lead me to look into aspergers. I wonder if there is enough other stuff I struggle with to really diagnose something. I find eye contact difficult, I can feel my conversation with others as being clumsy.
I have some routines but then doesn't everyone? NT's days are surely structured around routine too? The average NT day is not just an unorganised barrage of complete surprises!
Social anxiety can be cured therefore it gives hope. Asperger is a condition you have to live with for your whole life. So if you get social anxiety diagnosis don't mourn. It's not that hard to cure. A few months/year from now you will be happy and wondering what was even wrong with you in the first place.
Asperger isn't all about logical brain and special gifts - if it was it wouldn't be a disability.
It is also possible you get double diagnosis - Asperger and Social Anxiety. It's pretty common. And even in that case Social Anxiety is possible to be cured.
About differences:
Social anxiety causes you anxiety symptoms when you think about or are in a social situation. You sweat, your hands shake, your voice gets weird, looking people in eye is uncomfortable and you get a lot of ideas like "They surely think I am weird and don't want to talk to me, I will make an idiot of myself" and you often don't know what to say - ar rather know what to say but don't know how to say it in a way noone thinks you are stupid or gets angry at you. The interesting thing is you act totally normal when you are comfortable - for example between friends or close family members, in casual settings.
Asperger makes you seem odd in social situations. You think you are doing the right thing and then suddenly someone says you were rude or awkward - and you don't know why. You thought you are doing well! You fail to understand why what you did was awkward. Another time you feel happy and other people suddenly ask you why you are so sad. You think you actively participate in conversation and in the end people ask you why you were so silent and if they bore you. Someone says they fell head over heels for a guy and you wonder who doesn't have head over their heels. You know it is an common expression for falling in love, but you can't help imagining it and thinking it should be the other way around and wondering why the saying exists in the first place. And at the same time you fail to understand why the friend is telling you that and how you are supposed to answer. You are not scared you say something wrong - you simply don't know what to say at all. So you say about your "heels over head" idea. And friend gets angry with you because you are "So insensitive!". And eye contact? You could probably do it - but why? Human eyeballs are not that interesting and you listen with your ears, not eyes.
Fun part is you do pretty well with strangers and in formal settings(because you learned the social scripts and can act them out for a while) but when interacting with friends or close family members all of your quirks show because you don't have a script for every single casual situation and often just forget of using them when you have fun.
Of course you can have both. And it isn't uncommon. Actually it is hard to avoid getting Social Anxiety and a point of life when you have Asperger. Especially during the "bully years" - middle and high school.
Thanks for that. I certainly have at least an element of SA as I get very nervous, sweaty palms etc when I know I am going to be around people but maybe there is some Aspergers too as I just want to be on my own all the time, I hardly talk when in most situations, I can't do eye contact, I find noise very difficult, have had food issues, am clumsy in conversations etc.
one that baffles me a little is the routine thing. I have routines and I like to know what I am doing and even do the same things at the same times, eat the same foods etc, but surely that goes for NT's too? if I have to break routine then I can handle it, I just don't like it. changing routine all depends on how much of a change too.
25 Aug 2016, 10:25 am
