Does autism make some of us look physically unattractive ?

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The only thing about that I find odd is tucking in the fandom t-shirts especially into leggings. I always leave my t-shirts loose. I mean I do think a non-tucked in t-shirt with tighter pants or leggings looks a lot better....but to each their own.

I didn't always tuck my shirts in but because I'm quite overweight, I have issues with untucked shirts rolling up and showing off my stomach (which I can't stand) so that is why I tuck them in to avoid that.

As far as I can tell, there's no easily-discernable inherent physical standout. However, what's considered attractive in a given society and time can have a social component, and we may not always be the most aware of what that is.

Fashion, effectively. Or its wider cousin: copying other people in nearly every aspect of presentation.

I've been in rooms at aspie events (usually bring-your-aspie-kid research things) where it's very easy to pick out at least some of the autistic people. However, it's a combination of factors - clothing color and cut (and fit, and materials); types of haircut (simple, easy to maintain, usually short but sometimes obviously uncut for years; completely untrimmed or absent beards on men); stance, gaze, and body language (particularly when interacting or given opportunity to interact); vocal inflections and word choices; evidence of common co-morbidities, and so on. Physical fitness also tends to be all or nothing; either it's something the person puts significant time and effort into, or they don't at all. Few are the aspies who work out just enough to look good.

And then there are those who are completely indistinguishable from the NT crowd. It's never a perfect set of criteria.

So while it's not exactly a *physically* attractive thing, there is a social aspect to attraction, and part of that is sending and being able to read social signals. Not doing so can make at least some types of attraction falter or get confused, or not even start in the first place. And usually that's all subconscious, so people don't know why someone giving unexpected signals doesn't seem attractive to them; it's just a general feeling of "kind of a weirdo for some reason".

On the plus side, such signals can be learned, and it's quite possible to send expected ones using socially-accepted appearances (fashionable haircut, clothing, accessories), body language and extended facial expressions (learnable), and so on and so forth. Even if it does feel a bit like trying to bluff your way through a party for aliens while you only know a handful of words, particularly at first.

I don't really know. I mean I've never thought of myself as even remotely attractive and yet there always seems to be people asking me out for a drink or to grab some food. I don't think it's something you can base really on autism, as usually I base attraction on the face whether he or she looks kind. Their hair colour, what they are wearing, their qualities and so on.

People never used to ask me out back at school as I was a loner, never spoke to anyone. Eventually I started speaking, tried to make a friend or two. When I approached people they reacted and I found that even though talking nearly half killed me I was able to at least participate with others my age. Social anxiety made that hard work but I did and still continue to do it now.

FTFY...

As for the topic (My opinion only)
There are 3 kinds of beauty.

1. The external kind. What do you (Or they) look like ect. This beauty is strongest as we are young and fades quickly as we age. It is the most superficial and fake kind of beauty. If you only ever strive for this beauty you will find yourself forever empty. Be true to yourself though, its not bad if your attracted to skinny women with big boobs, everyone has their own preferences and that's ok whatever they are, so long as you don't like kids

2. The internal kind. Who are you, how do you carry yourself, what are your morals, how do you exist in your world. This beauty is incredibly strong and not tied to physicality, its the expression of who you really are, if we could peel back all the layers, take off the mask and be 100% true, this is it.
(Watching Picard last night, S01E04, They discuss a concept called 'Total Candor' A person of internal beauty would be an amazing honest, truthful and reliable person in that context)

3. Your actions. This is a very strong kind of beauty, again not tied to the physicality of you, but to your actions and how you present to the outside world. What do your actions say about you? do they tell the world your a cold heartless monster? Or do they tell the world that your a true friend to those that are privileged to see your inner beauty? If you see some rubbish on the ground, do you pick it up and put it in a bin? If you see someone struggling with a trolley in the shops, do you help them? If you find a lost animal do you care for it like its your own until you can locate the owner?

I don't believe in an afterlife or a god, but if there is, I think that we would be our own judges to decide our worthiness. that judgement would come from our inner beauty, our actions, how we carry ourselves, how we impacted the world around us. We will always be our own harshest critics, so when your internal critic is ok with you, you know your on the right path.
I personally am quite critical of myself and my actions in the past, but I try to be a good person. my personal perspective of myself is that im not well known or really liked very much, but much to my constant surprise people say really nice things about me, they call on me when they need someone to come through 100% for them. I try to be a good person to myself and it expresses outwards to others improving my quality of life.

When you see the internal beauty of someone, you see the external beauty too, whatever it is, unfiltered and pure, just the way they are.

When you see the external beauty only, you never get the privilege of truly knowing them.

Thankyou

a lot of people seem to underestimate the importance of mannerisms and how you carry yourself, when it comes to physical attraction

aspergers won't make you look different in a picture, but if you watched someone for just a bit, it's more likely to come out i think.

This describes attraction for me also.

As for looking unattractive I guess outward presentation that's inconsistent with the expected appearance for their age and the venue can make a person standout; couple that with inconsistent facial expressions and physical mannerisms and the autistic person stands out, and not for attraction reasons.

Different people find different things attractive


Every autistic looks different

Not everyone that is married is conventionally attractive

It's still to be determined all the types of autism/aspergers. So, noticing that, I did mention to my specialist that there IS a bit of similarity between SOME forms of autism to Downs syndrome (which was even published). Mainly that for whatever type we are talking about. You can find very masculine features in the face and the female version of this type also has "man-ish" masculine features. But this is NOT total. I usually notice that Aspies are thin/slim and geeky/nerdy like (much like I was when I was young, almost anorexic, until I had comorbids that made me overweight), those that fall into the Classical Autistic category could be either babyfaced or very masculine (sometimes to the point of ugliness) but again, NOT totally.

Yes.

An aspie guy can have a face like Brad Pitt, or George Clooney, but will typically wear his shirts with one tail tucked in, and the other tucked out, and even wear a plaid shirt WITH plaid pants!

That pocket protector in your shirt is probably ...THE LEAST of your fashion problems!