Are you missing out on life if you don't party ?

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I was referring to groups of differentiating social statuses and prestige if I got my definition wrong, although I'm acknowledging you on the collective narcissism part.

agreed, I also agree the auditory nightmare. I have no sensory issues (never had) but NT parties always have to play music so loud that effectively nobody can ever hear themselves.

It is not a must do requirement for young people or for anyone else to have fun. There are thousands of people who do not enjoy partying and that sort of thing and they are not all Autistic. Whatever is fun for you is what is fun for you. There is no rule that determines what has to be fun.

Usually society and peer pressure makes you feel bad for not partying when you're young, and it's like if you've never been clubbing and aren't interested in getting drunk then people think there's something wrong with you. This isn't really a society we should be living in, but sadly it is (unless you're religious or live in a culture where people don't drink or whatever).
A lot of NTs actually dislike partying but the vast majority of NTs force themselves to attend clubs and bars when they're young and get drink themselves silly. I think most people get too drunk in those sorts of places because the environment is basically more bearable to be in when drunk. And it appeals to these youngsters for some reason, just like playgrounds appeal to children.

I remember when I was younger I saw an advertisement somewhere of a party vacation for people aged 18-30, and for a whole week all you do is party and nothing else. Now to me that sounded like the most BORING vacation in the world.

Australians are quite imaginative, a rite of passage was to join a Kontiki cruise where for about 2 weeks you and a group of 20 something age groups do nothing but drink and fornicate while cruising to ports in various parts of the world.

A common oft heard phrase is "lock up your daughters" here comes the kontiki...

The appeal of partying to NTs is the prospect of forming new relationships and having pleasurable interactions via socializing with one another and acting out. It is a sexual facilitator as well.

I did two Kontiki cruises actually as an American. It was a few guys who were the hottest and most social working hard to try to get laid. Locals who knew about the trips would also try to get laid with the girls on the bus in bars. It was actually harder I think than hooking up with local girls at a bar. The girls were hesitant to hook up with guys because unless the guy was high up in the hierarchy, everyone would know, so they had to be sure the guy was worth it for their reputation. A thing seemed to be for several girls to hook up with one hottest guy. The girls were willing to socialize and flirt with anyone, but if you aren't quick to socialize and bond and establish your status, people on the cruise aren't interested in you long term. Very difficult environment for an AS to navigate and tolerate. My sister wanted to go herself but never got the chance and recommended it to me. The girls were for the most part hard to get. The girls were after the hottest guys obviously. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone with AS. It's only good for very social people. But the thing I discovered was that the social 'popular' 'cool' people who on these trips are actually kind of like not that cool in their everyday life and they pretend to be cool when on the trip. In fact, a lot of these travelers are kind of like losers in their real life compared to what they pretend to be on the Kontiki trip. The marketing is for young, hot cool people to have a social experience while travelling, but really it has a fifth grade vibe and the travel is very superficial and you have to bond with strangers quickly in a competitive social hierarchy environment, where everyone divides into groups like in middle school very quickly and if you are not in a group, you can get left out for long periods of time. I had some positive experiences on these trips, like getting to know and walking around with the groups and dancing with some of the girls a few times, but overall seeing the difference between social NT people and myself was very painful and hard to stomach, and I would not have gone for this reason. It's better to go to the gym on a regular basis and stay home in my opinion. My sister gave me bad advice because she does not understand AS and she bought the advertising. Also, Kontiki is 4x times as expensive as going from hostel to hostel. It's basically a simulation of a college dorm party experience on a moving bus or boat. The travel exposure is not very much and most people aren't that interested in the travel aspect - it is all about bonding and partying like in middle school and college - with the alfa male, the alfa female, the closed groups, teasing, the ugly/shy girls getting left out, etc.

When I had roommates who threw parties, I was glad to attend, but I don't think there was any lasting benefit. The dancing was fun, but it was too noisy to understand a conversation, let alone discuss any fine points. I found that more than two drinks became unpleasant and made me error-prone.

No, but I remember feeling the same way when I was younger. I tried it, but would end up either drinking way more than I should have because I felt alone/lonely in the crowded bar, or else would end up in a conversation I wasn't interested in with someone I didn't enjoy talking to (when I even could get a word in...) Usually the first option.
The next morning, I normally wouldn't have a hangover, but I'd be really disappointed in myself for spending so much money. I decided that I would get a $60 bottle instead of spending $60+ on a half-pint or so of something that goes for $12-15 a bottle, and I was much happier. My room could be the same as the bar, except with no crowding, music I choose, a volume level I control, and a whiskey that doesn't need "ambiance" to make it drinkable.

I liked parties as a kid because we were always crazy with excitement and I was with people I knew from primary school, I never went to costume parties except dress up at school, and only had games nights with families on birthdays, Christmas etc. As an adult, the excitement I once had was gone when I went to parties because I was surrounded by NT strangers I at times struggled to interact with and approach and my friends were not the clubbing or party-types so I didn't invite them or come along. So it didn't seem as fun anymore because I hardly made friends with NTs who willingly went to a club than someone like me who is maybe unwilling to go.

Personally, i like pubs / clubs / music events
and
I am hypersensitive to sound!

So... how can i like pubs / clubs etc.

Well, did you know, alcohol slows the brain down so that I don't get sensory overload. Yippee!
So if i go to a pub / club, i have to drink a fair amount of alcohol and I do enjoy some of the clubs / pubs
as long as they are not too overcrowded. I find overcrowding uncomfortable.

The problem though is that as you grow older, it is harder to find people to go to the pub / clubs with.
As many of the people who I used to hang with when younger, are either married with kids (so don't go to pubs / nightclubs), have moved away, I have fallen out with (or distanced myself from them because i think their douche bags) or in some cases, are now dead.

Also, as you grow older, you do start to stick out even more, being older than the general clientele.
There are some nightclubs however that are frequented by a spectrum of ages, so as you grow older
you are less stigmatised.

I like some parties, as i like drinking. But cant do it for more than one day (not more in a row)
as antidepressants stop working if you drink on consecutive days.

Clubbing and going to pubs can be costly though. with beer costing 5 times plus than in the shop.
And spirits costing even more! So, getting drunk, instead of costing £10, costs £50 plus!

Especially clubbing, as i would need to get a taxi back to my home which would cost £25

Having a few drinks at home while playing xbox and watching netflix can be equally as enjoyable
you don't meet people though or make new friendships staying at home

I could never really understand the draw of partying. To me, it would be a nightmare to go to one. I really dislike bright lights and the behaviors of drunk people. It might be great for others, but it is just not my idea of a fun time.

I used to frequent a local pub when I still lived in Kansas. Most went there to drink, but I went there early in the evening for the food and to clear my mind after a long day. I would sit away from everyone in a far corner to disappear. People would still often bother me with questions. Sometimes, it would get too crowded for me and I would take my cue to go right after paying for my meal. Drunk people just cannot understand others who are not drinking with them at the bar and I cannot consume alcohol due to an allergy. I do not miss that place.

You're more likely to meet new people going to pubs than to clubs. Most people go to clubs to dance and drink with their friends and the music is too loud to be able to have a conversation with anyone. The only thing that might come out of it is a one night stand, usually because some drunk guy is attracted to your tarty dress style.

A lot of people believe that going to clubs is the only way to make friends. Um, no. There are a thousand other places you can meet people and make friends without tartiness and alcohol being involved.

No, you’re not missing out on life.. but you’re missing out on partying.

I worked at pubs & clubs through much of my twenties, but never really went to them and when I did was for a friend’s event and never really enjoyed them all that much except for the live bands.

It wasn’t until my nearly mid 30’s, after I had my ASD & social anxiety under control, that I really truly partied for a few years and enjoyed it. Warehouses/club spaces packed with people, DJ’s, lights, sound systems, drinks, drugs, and debauchery! TONS of fun if you’re in the mood for it And that mood is.. pharmaceuticals enhanced And you’re amongst good party people.

The last year or so, pre covid, I haven’t really partied all that much but I did work at several of one of my friends’ party series as front door ticket sales/extra security. It’s a.. very vibrant scene of sexy body painted party people vibing to DJ’s & drums.

So yeah, if you’re in a state to truly enjoy it, it’s awesome fun! The gay parties I’ve attended have been the best of the best - the costumes & happy party people are amaaaaazing! But if it’s an environment that just makes you anxious or nervous or hypersensitive to light/sound and not enjoy it, then no, you’re not missing out on a damned thing but stress and maybe a meltdown lol.

All that said, IF people on the spectrum have a desire to experience the party scene vibe And can get themselves into a state of being where they truly look forward to and enjoy it, based on my own personal experience, I highly recommend it. And if you don’t want anything to do with it in your life, well then, whatever - never bother with it.

I enjoyed birthday parties as a kid. They were usually held in the day and didn't involve alcohol, and you could basically be yourself. At bars and clubs I feel like people judge you, and they are usually full of chavs that stare at you and you've got to look like you're having a great time otherwise they'll judge you. So it can become exhausting when you've got to pretend you can hear what everyone is saying over the loud music and look engaged and relaxed. It's just not my scene, and the older I get the less I feel guilty for not going to those places.
I'm not saying I'm a bad socialiser, but the last time I was in a noisy crowded bar I felt like I had to wear a mask (metaphorically, as this was way before the pandemic), and I had to consciously keep up this certain impression when in reality I wasn't even sure what to do. I was too busy worrying about my body language and how I appeared to others. After all, bars are social places so obviously you've got to look social and relaxed to belong.

Life contains numerous activities

It is not possible to do all of them

Thus everyone is missing out on life