Can autistic people talk to autistic people better?

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Double Retired
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10 Mar 2021, 11:27 am

I vaguely possibly incorrectly remember reading of a study where they had autistics and non-autistics briefly interact with other study participants. As I possibly incorrectly remember it, the subjects did not know the neurotype of the person they were interacting with. As I more confidently remember it, participants later consistently reported a higher comfort talking with someone of the same neurotype as themself--even though they were not told each other's neurotype.

I'm unsure whether or not this is that study.

I notice that my preceding paragraphs are consistent with assertions that Aspies I'm an Aspie tend to be more precise in their communication than Allistics. I'll admit I wonder if that is part of the disconnect between Aspies and Allistics. I've noticed this difference even this week in conversations with my bride an ADHD Allistic. She said something, I noted that it was not exactly correct, and she said something to the effect of "it's close enough!"

The Psychological Evaluation that declared I was on the Spectrum contained the following observation:

Quote:
He also expressed some frustration on items asking him to reflect on how others perceive him, commenting, "How would I know what others think of me?"
The psychologist (who, when I asked, said she was NT) seemed to think this was odd--implying to me that NTs think they somehow magically know what other people think of them. Has anyone checked that? I'm pretty sure I'm right and the psychologist is wrong--NTs might always have a guess about what other people think of them, and that guess might often be right, but I cannot believe it is always right.


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Earthbound_Alien
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10 Mar 2021, 11:34 am

Yes, you can be more natural.

I am not formally diagnosed but I find it much easier to talk to people on the spectrum than I do Neurotypicals. I can be myself basically and unless our quirks bash heads I can be myself.

I feel different to the Neurotypicals...but I can't explain how.

But to cut it short and make it quick (as NTs would do), I like spectrumites. I can be weird around you and I adore it.



cat303
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10 Mar 2021, 3:24 pm

Double Retired wrote:

The Psychological Evaluation that declared I was on the Spectrum contained the following observation:
Quote:
He also expressed some frustration on items asking him to reflect on how others perceive him, commenting, "How would I know what others think of me?"
The psychologist (who, when I asked, said she was NT) seemed to think this was odd--implying to me that NTs think they somehow magically know what other people think of them. Has anyone checked that? I'm pretty sure I'm right and the psychologist is wrong--NTs might always have a guess about what other people think of them, and that guess might often be right, but I cannot believe it is always right.


That's theory of mind! The reason I first suspected (aged 40) that I might be autistic is because I was taught about ToM in psychology and realised I don't have it, or if I do, it doesn't come naturally. It's at the heart of most autism research, including my own (kind of) so don't worry, we're on to it :)



Double Retired
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10 Mar 2021, 5:22 pm

8O Theory of Mind = ESP?!

I believe that if someone (even me) cares what someone else thinks of them, and if they guess what that might be, then they can sometimes guess correctly or almost correctly...but I find it very difficult to believe that NTs can always, exactly know what other people think of them, even if they are not told. I have to believe they will sometimes be wrong. If they could read each others' minds they wouldn't need language!

My theory is NTs care what other people think of them, make a guess, and then choose to believe their guesses are correct. But someone who really wants to be accurate and correct (an Aspie?) would realize those guesses are not always correct and therefore be cautious about assuming they are right.

Has anyone objectively tested how accurate NTs really are on these conclusions they jump to?

P.S. Thank you for your patience with me. And please bring your sense of humor to this discussion because it is not an important issue to me and my sense of humor is definitely involved here. I hope I am not causing agitation.

P.P.S. Hmmm.... I'm kind of guessing how the NT minds are working. Crud. Does that mean I'm trying to think like an NT?!

P.P.P.S. "I believe that if someone (even me) cares what someone else thinks of them..." I've pretty much outgrown caring. Wait! Is my lack of concern age or Spectrum??

P.P.P.P.S. Wait! I'm married! I do care what she thinks of me. But I am often confused....

P.P.P.P.P.S. Did I mention my sense of humor was involved here?

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Thank you, again, for patience!


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When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.