My reflection in the pages...

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Hi IronSails! You'll probably find better information on the internet (in places like WP) than in the book store. Most of the books are obsolete by the time they get into print and some of them are just plain full of BS. If you're going to spend cash for paper, stick to well respected authors like Tony Atwood and Liane Holliday Willey.

It's too bad your mother wasn't much help. I was lucky when it came to talking about AS with my parents. I discussed it with my mother prior to my official diagnosis, and expected her to say I was functioning at too high a level to have an ASD. Instead, she pretty much agreed with my unofficial conclusions and urged me to see the doctor to find out for sure. She then sat down at her computer and wrote down virtually everything she could remember about the medical history of everyone in the family so I could take it with me to the doctor. Armed with all that family history the doc didn't take very long to agree that I have AS, and added ADD (why didn't anyone catch that 30 years ago?) and depression to the list. After I got the official diagnosis I told my brother and father. Neither were particularly surprised to find out. All three of them self-identify with many of the ASD symptoms. My father is convinced he also has ADD, and my mother says AS would explain most of the problems she had as a child. I guess the reason nobody ever thought I had AS was because I wasn't too different from everyone else in the family.

IronSails:

I think you have tried to handle your life. It is nice to admit your mistakes, that way we know how we can help you. However, I think that everyone on this forum would agree, we have done our best to make you feel welcome. I hope to see you here soon.

Hi, Ironsails. Don't be so hard on yourself as a parent. There's this saying that goes, "When we know better, we do better." It's all a learning process when raising children. It's like they're also raising you.
You don't have to know everything at once as even the most experienced parents never do. Just keep on doing what you believe is best for your children.

As for your diagnosis, trust your common sense and your own intelligence rather than some doctor who, after all, isn't a mind reader. I'm not going to a neurologist for official diagnosis because many symptoms that showed up in childhood either aren't as obvious or I've learned to control, making it harder for any doctor to make an accurate assessment.

Interestingly, I told my mother about my AS just this past week while she was visiting from out of town and she wasn't surprised at all, being that most people in my family, including her, have ASD traits, anyway.

IronSails, maybe you could take a little comfort in knowing that the worst parents don't admit that they are bad parents. In fact, they make out to everybody that they are the best, while in their homes they are cruel and nasty to their children.

It's hard to raise kids and lots of the "experts" make it harder by battering your confidence in your abilities to look after them. Kids don't come with an instruction manual. I think the "experts" undermine your confidence so you will buy more of their books.

I can't stand screaming or screeching either. Dad couldn't (I suspect he was AS, too) and the kid who made the most noise got the worst punishment. I don't feel sorry for kids who scream but if they just cry or whimper, I do feel like comforting them.

Tony Attwood has a very good reputation and Simon Baron-Cohen has written a really good book on AS & autism - "The Essential Difference".
There is supposed to be a really good book called "Through The Eyes Of Aliens" but I forget who wrote it and haven't been able to find it yet.

Thanx for the boost in confidence!

I'm currently reading Pretending to be Normal by Liane Willey.

I bought Asperger Syndrome edited by Ami Klin, Fred R. Volkmar and Sara S. Sparrow. It's a compilation a research data from the past few decades with some Parental essays.

I was looking at a book called Not Even Wrong today and it looks like a good one. Might buy it next week.

I found this place today-->http://www.neurodevelopmentcenter.com

It's only a few miles from where I live and I'm really hung up on the whole diagnosis thing so I might give them a call. I'm going to need a new Dr. for my sons anyway.

IronSails, here is a good website which you might have come across, with a whole slew of Asperger/Autism books:

http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/index.php/cat/autism

I would recommend looking them up on there and then searching elsewhere to find them at a cheaper price (if you don't mind buying over the internet). Overstock.com sometimes has them. Half.com sometimes has them as well, as long as they are not brand new published releases.

Good luck and enjoy!