I hate women.

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i hate some women, not all women are bad though. i especially like grandmas

Wot, this thread hasn't been locked yet?

Good, I'm not the only one...I have VERY few girl friends who I can really relate to...a couple of lesbians...haha...so maybe they think like guys...I don't know...and one close friend who is about 20 years older than me, her kids both were diagnosed with ADHD (I think from some of the thing one of them does, he might be closer to AS...) and I think my friend has many AS characteristics, altough she is very NT girlie in many ways...A couple of my neighbors and I get along as well...one is not a girlie girl, we talk about yard work, stuff that we need to do around the house, etc...and the other is a bit girlie, but she says the same that she doesn't have alot of friends that can relate to her...Her tastes are much more masculine (such as in decorating, etc...), similar to mine...

Growing up, no girlfriends really...TONS of guy friends...my best friends from high school/college years are all men...

I couldn't agree more.

While I'm not ready to endorse the "extreme male brain" theory of AS, there is a grain of truth there, which make (to my taste) many aspie women the best of both genders. It's a pity that they're so scarce!

I hate mysogynists!

We are all human - some of of us kinder and more compassionate than others. Sounds to me like women have hurt your feelings more often than men. What we don't understand is frightening and can prove hurtful as well.

But a blanket statement regarding the hate of a specific gender is no different than hating a specific racial group. It is ignorant and fear based - and it really needs to stop.

You need to take responsibility for your own sh@#@. Accept that you are limited in understanding certain women - where they are coming from, what they want - the motivating factors. And then stay away from the hurtful ones - no different than staying away from ill intentioned men.

If you feel too confused or afraid - simply walk away.

I'm the same way, KristaMeth, except in reverse. I'm male, but I've always gotten along much better with women. An AS thing, getting along better with the opposite sex? Probably not. (And no, I'm not gay -- not that there's anything wrong with that.)

I am like that. I always prefered the company of women. I am a rather female person character-wise. Women also seem a lot more mature and calm towards other people and they seem to be much more up for a mature conversation. When I walk around on my own and I pass a group of men, I always feel slightly uncomfortable, as if I know they may behave childish and bother me. I never felt uncomfortable though walking on my own and crossing a group of women, because behaving childish and bothering someone does not seem like a thing females would easily do. So I always felt a lot more comfortable around women. I also have a rather female way of moving according to other people, some people even think I am gay (which I am not) but I don't see it as a problem to be compared to women. Why would I be insulted when someone compares me to thing of beauty (PS don't take "thing" literarly)

Yeah, but that's what rocks about my situation. Not only do I get to goof off with the guys, I also get the ego boost from all the staring at my breasteses. Best of both worlds, yunno

I'm sorry, I thought it was pretty obvious that I was being stereotypical. And though I may not meet your PC standards, I'm still going to tell you that I think it's dumb to act like stereotypes aren't truthful at all. More black people wear FUBU than white people. More women are overly emotional than men. Insert many other well known stereotypes about race, gender, specific music genre listening labels and stereotypes here.

I think it would be very fair to say that all my life, women have "hurt my feelings". Maybe that's because women tend to use feelings as tools more than men?

Do you think I'm saying men don't do that? Or all women do that? I thought I tried to get that point across in my original post.

The fact remains that I refuse to dance around my words for people for whatever stupid reason. It sounds to me like you've had your feelings hurt by someone who was overly politically incorrect with you at once. The fear of political incorrectness is ignorant and fear based, and it needs to stop.

Also, I am not a women hater. I am a people hater. This just happens to be one small aspect of my dislike for people. My next post will be about football watching, boob grabbing, caveman grunting, lazy slob men. TY.

I find myself in the reverse situation to KristaMeth. Since I have no interest in team sports or cars, I prefer conversations with women (they don't talk to me about makeup and that sort of thing). i avoid drama queens like the plague, and find that i get along well with the quieter girls, the nicer girls, and those that don't get along much with other females. I think expectations have a lot to do with it - they don't expect that i'll be interested in makeup, they know i don't assume they'll like sports. Generally i find i get along better with people who are not my peers (older people, people from different cultures, etc) because there is no expectation that we will in fact be able to connect - the lack of stress makes it easier.
One difference i do notice in how men and women socialise, is that though both can form very strong friendship bonds, in the case of women they usually form them with others with whom they socialise for the sake of socialising, while men tend to form the strongest bonds with men with whom they share a common purpose (a sports team, politics, soldiers serving together, etc).

Given that the OP says she can get on with some women, and even admits to a degree of stereotyping, its not really a "blanket statement" at all. Its not even hatred of a gender as a whole, but seems more to be a dislike of certain manners of behaviour amongst some of that gender.

Its certainly not the first example of a woman who doesnt "get" women, or who prefers men as associates. Nor is it the first example of a woman who eschews all that "girly bollocks" that most men dont get either. As someone noted earlier, female aspies tend to be more "male" in outlook, opinion and behaviour, and even sometimes appearance. Its not insane to expect a female aspie to be as confused or lost by the apparently illogocal behaviour of regular women as the next man.

Its also true that women are more adept at using "feelings" as weapons, offensively or defensively, and thus would be more efficient at causing harm with that part of their arsenal. Some men are adept at it too, but generally the male less so, and is more inclined towards the physical.

And yes, stereotypes exist for a good reason, and there is usually an inclination by a large group of any section of society to follow the "stereotype", and reinforce it.

When I was younger I felt that way. I thought women were all like that, and that I naturally got along better with men because of my Aspie traits. But I'm older now, and know that attitude is really just self-delusionment against the much more unconfortable reality I wasn't ready to face yet.

In my opinion, Aspie women and girls may feel more comfortable around men because their way of socializing is less intrusive, more ritualistic (predictable) and observes more boundaries than the way most women socialize. But that doesn't mean we actually relate to them - it's just being around men causes us less confusion and anxiety on the surface. And let's be honest, most male socializing is pretty superficial. not because men are more cerebral and less emotional than women - psychology and sociology proves that to be utterly false (see the PBS doc "Rasing Cane" for more about that). It's just that men, due to social pressure and expectations, aren't allowed to behave normally in ways that exposes their emotionality. That's rather distinct from an Aspie, who is neurologically wired in a way that caused a developmental delays in his or her emotional awareness and expression.

I think we're kidding ourselves if we think that we're really relating or connecting with men when the reason we feel comfortable around them is primary their own socially conditioned emotional repression. What's more, we can kid ourselves into a state of arrested development, because we're sticking to what's familiar and comfortable, and avoiding what's challenging and could make us develop and grow in our social skills (just as these men often do themselves). Of course, I've been through this myself, and I know how resistant I was to believing that, seeing the conclusion is a very distressing one. But I guess that depends on how ready you are to be honest with yourself.

Granted my closest female friend recently screwd me over in a "typically" female way (being gossipy and contentious), but truth is, male friends have screwd me over too, and in worst ways. What I take away from this is people can be pretty awful, and you have to find your own way of dealing with it. You have to deal with people on an individual basis, judging them on their own stage of personal development and sense of self, even if that sounds overwhelming. I mean, that is, if you want to grow as a person yourself. If not, you can play these boys verus girls games as long as you like. But be warned: dividing people into groups of those you think you'll get along with and those you won't under false or naive precepts is going to lead you down a very unpleasant road in the end.

On a side note: the earlier idea that Aspies possessed "extreme male" brains is a false concept at best. More recent research in psychology and sociology of the genders show that men are socially conditioned to be less emotional and more systematizing, and often contrary to their own individual native personalities and dispositions. Yes some men may be like that naturally, but not all by far. In fact, male infants have been shown in some studies to be more emotionally reactive than female ones. So to present categories like "male" and "female" brains that's based on stereotypical assumptions about gender cannot be seen as valid.

This is a REALLY interesting discussion! Random stuff, most in response to one post or another:

Something weird about myself-I think in a lot of ways I'm MORE emotional than a normal guy-but then at the same time there's like this separate very logical part of me. It's weird. I haven't even figured myself out yet in that regard...

From what I've observed, there really is something to women being more...I don't know, "clicky" and backstabbing and all that. Not uniformly, but it does seem like men tend to be more straight forward.

Regarding that "taking a long time to get ready" thing-I sure don't fit into that stereotype. I always allow myself 2 hours, and need a lot of time to make sure I'm ready, everything's packed, etc. I get kind of panicky if I'm not prepared for everything, and don't like having surprise stuff thrown at me...though all of that is probably just from AS...

Aspie women do seem to be a magical "best of both worlds" type situation, don't they? Where are they all hiding?

I also agree with the posts that said as aspies we tend to do better with people who aren't quite in our social group-people older, younger, or the opposite sex, as we're not expected to be able to fit in so much. I know I'm probably generally most nervous around males of roughly the same age, compared to other groups. There's the whole sexual aspect that's been mentioned too that probably feeds in to that. I sort of feel like I should know what I'm doing more in that situation, and I have no clue.

AspieMartian's (and other's) comments on that seem dead on to me.

It's tough. I find it difficult to keep male friends because while I want friendship, they want something else.

I find it difficult to have female friends because it's like what the original poster stated. I don't know if I hate one gender more than the other. I often feel more sorry for females because they are the most hated gender. For me right now it's this.

Okay, if I have a male friend, we can talk about a variety of topics but I can't trust that all the person really wants is friendship.

If I have a female friend, it's because she's not catty and we can talk about a variety of topics but I can't trust that she won't get overly emotional and backstab me over whatever she's feeling at the moment.

Then this is where I know it's not the physical being as having a penis=male and having a vagina=female.

I've met men with the same female tendencies except they don't backstab you for feminine reasons but will get very emotionally upset if you don't put out and resort to using emotions to get what they want. When that fails, they get pissed off.

Women with male tendencies they will get pissed off and confrontational when being confronted and shove you back after you push them. They will continue to listen to you if put in the situation where they must but if youare disrespectful and overly-emotional then they will just leave and seek isolation.

There is an outside that is easy to peg but can also be inaccurate. That is why I see male and female on the outside first. Okay you are male, you are female. Does it mean you have a feminine or masculine energy and mind? No.

I think there's a positive masculine force and negative. There's a positive and negative feminine force. I tend to like the positives of both and if it's not overbearing, accept the negatives of both. There's always a line to be drawn. If someone uses their negative to harm you mentally, emotionally or physically or an attempt then that is where I draw the line.

Honestly, I agree with most of what you said. I just feel that your comments were implying that I was talking about connections with men. For me, socializing and connecting are two completely different things. I socialize a lot (for an aspie). But I rarely make any kind of connection with real substance. Those connections I have made though, I've found, have never been any kind of gender related. I can't even make any kind of generalization about the few people I've connected with. To be honest they've been so sparse that connections seem like more of a freak occurance for me than something I could explain with gender specific stereotypes.



Very interesting, about the infants and emotions. Appreciate the food for thought. But also, don't you think the way someone acts or presents themselves is just as big of a part of the person as their brain? Because really, is there such a thing as a person who actually acts completely the way they were "born to act"? In the world we live in, social conditioning, parental (also governmental, medical, educational) conditioning, becomes who we are, and will also determine connection, no matter how alike two brains may be.

Yeah, well, that changes the message a bit! It goes from "I hate women" to "I prefer the company of others to that of a subset of heterosexual NT women." Although that is rather long for a subject line.