Eye contact??

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I would say don't force her (like making her face you) to make eye contact.

I always felt really uncomfortable making eye contact with some people and whenever I was told to "look them in the eye", it would only make things worse, not better.

I have always had trouble with eye contact, I think it is a fear of not being believed. Like if someone looks in your eyes they can tell if you are not telling the truth, and with a problem as stigmatized as autism or any "mental" disorder has been, it's like you have a secret and they are going to find out. And when they find out they are going to reject you and tell the world about you and then you will be tormented.

I am better at eye contact than I used to be but I still find it difficult.

Incidentally, animals cannot stand human eye contact. I read that as a child in The Jungle Book and it is true. The animal will always look away first. I do not pretend to know why, but I can certainly understand that. I have heard that certain cultures find eye contact rude. As we become more aware of cultural and neurological diversity, I think the eye contact deal will become less and less of a big thing.

exactly. Just don't force her. She'll learn, if she has people she trusts. I don't mind making eye contact with immediate family.

just remember that everyone is different; no two aspies are alike.

i always though eye contact was something couples or family did. how innocent i was!

It is not something that at such a young age will be a problem....

but as she grows older... she needs to learn to at least "fake" eye contact.... what other people have been saying about focus on hair or lips or earrings... it is just one of those things that once you reach employment level, you have to be able to do.... be able to look like you are looking at someone.

there is a neat youtube video that explains the eye contact thing....

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Frb7k9eT4uQ[/youtube]

shoulders work pretty good if she dosn't like looking at their face?

To me it feels like looking at the sun minus the 'spots'. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. With that in mind I do try to consiously glance at people's eyes when starting a conversation, just enough to say, "You've got my attention and I did the eye thing...now I'd like to just focus on your words"
(of course I don't speak this) I may glance back at their face, but overall it takes concentration away... I try to at least look like I'm looking at someone's face, even if I may have my eyes unfocused.

Many animals stare at each other as a form of aggression... Perhaps that may be partially true with me. If I am extrememly pissed off I find it much easier to glare into someone's eyes in a fixed stare... Perhaps I'm subconsiously hoping to give them the same tension and anxiety I feel.

If I'm meeting someone new I want to glance at them and look away. Once I was introduced to an autistic boy at a party. He glanced at me sideways, said hello, then looked down. I was like....SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS MY LANGUAGE!! !! !! !! !! ! Now THAT'S how you say hello to a new person, not this handshaking eye contact rubbish.

I've got it where I do short little glances at a person's eyes and mostly stare a little to the side of their face. It seems awkward to fix my eyes on theirs. It's fascinating how powerful that is, having no physical contact at all. Somebody recently observed how I interacted with another person and called me on it in a polite way, so I've been trying to improve this now that I'm more aware of the severity of it.