I have trouble talking to people

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Good idea. However, I usually don't find anything interesting about the people I talk to on a daily basis. Well, I should rephrase that - the things I DO find interesting are probably not subjects that are discussed openly between mere acquaintances. All the questions I come up with always seem too personal for me to ask, so I keep my mouth shut, or try to.



What sort of expectations? Your friends should take you as you are.

Those are not probably not pauses, but ends of the conversations that preceded. It's a necessary (and, I find, very pleasant) attribute of conversations that they end at some point. The problem here is not that there are moments you can't think of anything to talk about, but that you believe you must talk.

I find the only way I can have a conversation is to find the right person. I need a person who can fill in the gaps when I can’t think of what to say next. Extroverts are good for filling in the gaps but they also tend to not be interested in anything serious or “deep” which is frustrating. Introverts are more likely to have an intelligent conversation but it’s almost impossible to get going as awkward silences tend to end the conversation early on. It takes just the right balance and it’s so difficult to find such people.

It’s the people who can spontaneously provide stories and topics that are able to converse easily with anyone. I don't think I'll ever be able to "provide" conversation. I lack that spontaneity of thought and there isn’t anything I can do about it. My brain just isn’t equipped to pull topics on the spot. If I try to be spontaneous I'm just goofy which might be okay in some circles but inappropriate with people I don't know well.

I have a similar problem, but I never know how to start talking. I listen and stay awaiting for my turn on talk, but this never comes, people jumps ahead with their thoughts, and know exactly the timing of conversation. When I need to say, really need to say, something, commonly I cut another talk - I apologize, of course. Unfortunately I usually stay so much time silent that people realize that I am a ret*d, and don't expect any comment at all.

Last edited by ericksonlk on 01 Aug 2008, 5:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm am soooooo tired of think that i'll say somethink very

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They are good people, it's my perceptions that get in the way. Something as simple as joking around is difficult, as either I don't know what the hell is so funny, and won't laugh, or laugh at theh wrong time. They are understanding, it's just that I feel like such a putz around certain people...

I notice all sorts of oddball things in people, but maybe it doesn't need to be limited to that person? Make an observation of someone else, or something at work. I notice that sometimes I'll say something in passing, and if I'm with a group of people, everyone kinda "explodes" (not really, but you get the picture), and what I've said might have been an unsaid complaint that many have secretly harbored. Either that, or people will give me a strange look, at which point I button up. Doesn't have to be a complaint, any observation will do, especially if it ain't been brought up before. Could even just be a different way to look at something. Whatever it is, elaboration isn't even necessary sometimes, as people "get" things quickly. Noticed this myself, if I can't fully form the idea, but have a piece of it ready to tell someone, that person more than often fills in the blanks of what I was thinking, or even better, expands on the idea.

Experience pays, more you open up, better things turn out.

Last edited by -JR on 31 Jul 2008, 7:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

BTW: it's OUT OF PLACE scrambled up.