Loborojo wrote:
. So we live in this insulated flat for 10 moths with nothing but us to talk to.[
Sounds pretty feeble. There's a whole city of solitary people who don't want to make friends? I don't buy it, unless Hermit University is there. As for the language, for crying out loud, an NT friend of mine accidentally hitchhiked to Guatamala and made friends, and came back speaking bad Spanish. Another went off to Kenya on some wild hair and came back with Swahili in two months. I, in spite of my grim expression, can't travel to any other-language region (except Quebec) without people wanting to practice their English on me.
She may have her own brand of social-phobia, and being a woman she has more reason to be cautious, but it's not the town.
I note that the particular brand of malfunctioning but social human that I have had the misfortune to be repeatedly exposed to absolutely
loves to latch on to the solitary person. They want to write that solitary guy into their little "You and me against the world, baby," scenario, reinterprating his lack of interest in the socialising to confirm her opinion that only two people in the world aren't evil.
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I haven't been alone for a long while and though she knows I need it, the minut I bring it up she says, "I know, you would rather be with boys than with me, I had better leave...."
ANd now I am depressed,
Of course you are depressed. Somebody laid a big fat guilt-trip on you. It's calculated to make you feel bad.
It's a load of crap. Your need to be alone is not lesser than her need to socialize. Your obligation to take care of yourself is not less than your obligation to take care of her. Her laying responsibility for
her emotional life at
your feet is childish and unfair.
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She can won't eat by herself adn wills it at the table until I come to sit by her and then only she will eat. "That's how I am she says".
What a crock. She won't do the simplest thing to take care of herself, eat, without your help? That may be the most pathetic suck-him-in guilt-trip I've ever heard of. They always need your help for some darn thing, and soon it's something regular, and then it's bloody three-times-daily, and the real truth of is it that she could handle it without you and is just trying to guilt you into centering your life around her.
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But I don't know? What is worse, being alone staring at walls or being wiht a person who contantly needs babales, hugs, love, warmth, doing things together, etc????
Alone. The wall is both less boring and less dramatic.
04 Sep 2008, 3:47 pm
