chamoisee wrote:
Why do they ask that when they do not want an honest reply, and get annoyed if you tell them honestly? It irritates me!! Nearly every time someone asks me this I hesitate because I have to stop and think about how I am doing and how to reply.
My first reaction is to tell them that I am having a crummy (or nice or okay) day and why, but most of them do not even stay around long enough to hear!
It has gotten to where I just shrug and smile, and maybe say, "Oh, okay", since they seem to want a short, succint answer. Then they stop and say, "Okay? OKAY? That's all? OKAY?! !!", which again prompts me to answer honestly and tell them that so far, the day sucks.
If it has been really bad, I will say, "I'm here." :shrug and smile: Meaning, I haven't died or commited suicide yet. My boss got mad at me for that: "Yuu're here, huh? Is it so bad to be at work, to have a job? etc etc". I didn't mean anything against the job, only that I was here, as in, *here*, in life.
I know that the expected reply is "I'm fine thank you, how are you?", but I just can't choke it out if I don't mean it, and when I ask someone how they are, I mean it. If I ask that, I am prepared to stand there and listen when they say that a truck fell on their head and their dogs died, etc etc....It would *bother* me if they said they were fine under those circumstances.
This is a very small ritual question, but it is so prevalent that it annoys me daily....
When people ask me how I am, I just say fine, alright, and okay, and do not go any further than that. I think people are just only acknowledging our presence anyway, not that they are really that interested in us, or they don't really want to know us better, I can't understand either because it is still confusing to me and I am almost forty years old, and still can't figure out certain social cues, gestures, and expressions.