Talking past the point

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If you don't talk on and on with everyone, just at certain times/people...it might be something like a mini meltdown only with a monologue instead of the typical meltdown antics.
It's a response to being subconsciously stressed out. Not sure how to stop it though. I get like that sometimes and cannot stop myself every single time. I have gotten a lot better though.

I still do that. Been caught a few times too
Sometimes it clarifies my thinking, just hearing my thoughts out loud, pulls it into consciousness where I can examine it better. It's even socially acceptable to do that, to some extent - counting coins, for example. Other times it's just anything and everything for no apparent reason. It's said you never find a better listener though.

It's relief to find others who do the same thing. I never knew anyone but me monologued to myself. I felt so...unusual, the only one with this particular habit, you could call it. I think I did it because it, like stimming, did something to my brain that made life easier and me better able to cope with it. The only problem with it was other's reaction to it. I did a cost/benefit analysis and decided it wasn't worth the price of other people's reactions so I tried my best to get out of the habit. The only time I do it these days is when I am around my mother and I am stressed out about going somewhere. Rest of the time I am really quiet, am not assertive enough, do not initiate conversations like I should but spoke when spoken to and carry on conversations (with the NT give and take) when needed.

I do that a lot about things that interest me. I've learned to cut down in order for people not to get annoyed with me. Sometimes I just have to cut myself short, even if I'm bursting to say more.

What's a meltdown? I know sometimes when I can't stop, it's something to do with stress. I recall a guy at work a very long time ago who was talking practically non-stop just after his chid was born. He'd always seemed a nervous type to me. The strange thing was, it was all quite impressively perceptive stuff, although sometimes inappropriate. But the sheer amount was scary, and the energy it must have taken, we really thought he might be headed for a breakdown, but he didn't.

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Yes, the interest factor. Ideas can really fascinate me and it's somehow very hard to believe that anybody out there could possibly not feel the same way. If I lose my thread (in speech or thought), it feels like a terrible thing.

most everything said on this thread describes very well the way i get sometimes in conversations, also it's suspiciously well put by everyone. i think this is something that many people here have thought about a lot.
sometimes it's ok to monologue i think, if you know it's on a subject the person listening is interested in, & if you actually have a point to make. nothing delights me more than the realisation that i've been given a genuine opening in a conversation to yap on about whatever writer or director or puppet animator i'm particularly interested in at the moment, & i think (hope) that i've got a little better over the years at spotting those moments, & more importantly not mistaking requests for a brief answer for them.
regarding the tangents in conversations that others have mentioned, i find it's not so much that i make bizarre connections that no one else can follow, as that someone will say something, which will suggest something to me, which in turn & before i've opened my mouth will suggest something else which i will actually talk about, & the resultant appearance of speaking in non sequiters is only a result of my neglecting to mention one of links in the chain.

I never thought of it like that before, but it does feel that way to me.

Yes, once again it's the attitude of others to a harmless thing that's the problem. If I had a mobile phone to my ear, nobody would bat an eyelid. I've internalised a lot of the taboo though. It'd probably be hard for anybody who interrupted me to convince me they didn't think I was insane.

A meltdown is when you are overstimulated, stressed for whatever reason. It can be a huge tantrum (one that cannot be helped). Mine involved crying, screaming, yelling, hitting the walls, hitting doors, kicking doors. It's terrible. I don't have them anymore and I am sooooo glad about that. Meltdowns vary from individual to individual. Some people injure themselves, injure others, stop responding. It just varies. Mine just happened to resemble huge tantrums that left me completely exhausted afterwards, I would go right to sleep. Someimes I hyperventilated a while first.
Meltdowns, like "lecture mode" I couldn't control very easily. Once I go into "lecture mode" I do not want to stop lecturing no matter WHAT. I just want to go on and on and drive everyone crazy even though I do realize others don't want to hear it.

I've given long answers when a few words would have done. Doesn't go down well as a rule, does it?

I've had the occasional friend who likes me to talk at length. I mentioned my regrets at being so verbose to one of them, who replied simply, "detail is important." We enjoyed that long style of dialogue.

yes, it is a pleasure to get into a conversation with someone who is interested in one's mini-lectures, & of course it's good too if one is interested in their opinion. looking back now, i used not to care if the person was interested in what i was saying, i think i considered it their problem for not being interested in my detailed explication of a fascinating topic (sometimes, with a few pints on me, i still do).
i think my tendency for a long time now has been to err on the side of caution, but small talk is so difficult that it often comes down to a choice between saying nothing or succumbing to the urge to just launch into a monologue.
maybe the answer is to steer the conversation to things like current affairs & sports (if you're into that kind of thing)? - areas that are easier to talk about & get a handle on than personal stuff or small talk, but also areas that other people are interested in & will have opinions on, so that they will tend to interrupt your monologue, & then once you've got a good argument going conversation will flow?

I see......nearest I've had to that is one hyperventilation episode, I was having a very traumatic relationship, and had got into a blazing row. Nothing compared to your descriptions, though it shook me up a lot. A friend had a "nervous breakdown" as they called it, very similar to your descriptions, but afterwards he was profoundy confused for a week or two, and was hospitalised, had ECT and all. We were only teenagers. Just seeing him confused was disturbing enough, I can still only guess at how it felt for him. But he pulled through.

I guess a 'conversation' between two Aspies is nothing of the sort.
It's actually loosely-connected, sequential monologues rather than a question and answer, mutual interview.
IOW, it's sequential monologues that bear no relevance to the listener.

I love depth - even when I try to do small talk I can't help but deepen it. I wrote a song about it years ago:

Hello again, it's nice today
And you hope the clouds will fade away
And that's as deep as you want to go
Why is it always so?
If only you knew me
We could share the weight of fear
Why does everybody say
The sentences nobody wants to hear?