Jerk who left a note and my response

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I don't know that it's stalking. I think it's just an annoyed NT being sarcastic. If he stuck the note on your car even when he wasn't parked next to you, there'd be a case for the beginnings of "stalking".

no to discussing your NLD with him. Just make no response or make a sarcastic one like his. Such as, "Nice constructive criticism. I'll be on the lookout to extend the same courtesy to you whenever I possibly can."

The note-writer has a legitimate concern that you're parking too close to his/her car. As angry as it might make you feel, your best action (due to what's already been said here) might be to not convey anything to the note-writer, and just find a different parking space (and get accustomed to using it from now on). Find a space that's next to a wall or pylon so that there's only one other car to ever worry about. Whenever I drive to a place that has a big parking lot, I intentionally park far away from the building, to avoid the mishaps of everyone else.

I want to tell you something that happened to me because reading your post reminded me of it. I was taking evening classes at a local college. It was right after an ice/snow storm and there was ice and snow all over the college's parking lot and I had a class. Cars were parked all over the place because no one could see any lines.
The community college I was attending at the time didn't plow their parking lot. No one had a clue where the parking spaces were. I was running late and struggling to get to class so I made a huge mistake. I saw a car that was parked further up than other cars beside it, so it looked like there was a space inbetween the cars. At first I thought it was an actual space but then I looked closer and saw there were two cars parked further up. Still, it looked like a space and I was determined to get to my class so I parked in it.
I parked behind someone who had a car parked in front of them.
I did this in desperation because I had to get to class and there was no place else to park.
So, I reluctantly parked there and ran to my class as fast as I could considering how slick things were. I figured the car in front would leave first and the car inbetween would be able to drive out of the space. I was counting on that happening because it was late and the classes were the last ones of the evening.
When I got out I found a note on my windshield, between the wiper and the glass. It read, "Who the hell taught you how to park?" or something like that. It was one rude note! It was written by the person in front of me. She also wrote that her car was in front of mine and she was stuck between my car and another one and it pissed her off. For a moment I was aggravated at the harsh language in the note but I realize she must have been really annoyed when she wrote it.
Anyway, I am glad whoever wrote that note for you was a bit more polite.

Personally, I would NOT reply to him.

If I were in his shoes, and angry enough to have written you a note explaining how much I hate your parking (I don't think i'd ever be that angry or rude .. anyways), I would go directly to the DMV with your note, which could very well lead to suspension of your license and/or fines levied against you.

He's obviously not a very nice person (who takes the time to write a note about someones parking, I mean, really?), antagonizing him is probably not the best idea.

Given your explanation of your condition, it sounds as if you should have a handicap parking permit, and not having one is a direct violation of state and federal laws (any 'condition' that adversly affects your ability to perform behind the wheel requires a doctors review and in a case like yours where you constantly have troubles parking, you should legally be carrying such a permit).

I know you must be pissed (I would be), i'm just trying to put in my $0.02 if it can do anything to prevent any trouble, cuz with such a note, he would have a damning case against you at the DMV.

Why someone would be such an a**hole as to write you a sarcastic note about your parking is beyond me, but hes obviously not someone who you should even give the time of day to in my opinion.

Although I appreciated most of your post, I disagree with this comment. There is nothing constructive about sarcasm. He could have written "Please stop parking so close to my car" or "Please be more careful when parking". Constructive criticism does not put the other person on their guard, should not be rude, and should never include sarcasm. If a coach said to a kid, "Nice job dropping that ball," no way would that be considered constructive criticism at all. Simply choosing a less harmful way to express his anger does not make the act itself constructive, as much as I appreciate that he *didn't* key my car. I still think he's a jerk. He could have expressed the same sentiments in a more respectful way.

To all:
I appreciate all the comments I've gotten, and I'm thinking seriously about what to do. I don't want to find another space because honestly, it would be upsetting and difficult to change my routine that way (aside from the difficulty of learning a new location). I really, really want to keep parking in the same place. I don't want to do nothing, because I don't want him to get angry and key my car. I am considering writing a simple apology explaining that I have difficulty parking, and that I am not being careless.

Last edited by LostInSpace on 07 Apr 2009, 8:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Not every handicap space has wide margins, though, and it can be difficult to get such a space with a disability that isn't physical. The OP might be better off looking for a space that doesn't have too many other cars nearby.

If I were you I would either put the note someplace (if you want to keep it) or throw the note away, but I would not let the person who wrote it know I found it. If the guy wants to talk to you in person that's entirely different, but since it's a note, you don't even have to act like you ever saw it. No one will know the difference.

Last edited by ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo on 07 Apr 2009, 8:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks very much for your post, and I wanted to respond to this portion in particular. I would *love* a handicap permit (not for the closeness to stores- I wouldn't care how far the spot was), because it would be wonderful to have more maneuvering room. When I park in a parking lot, I often park very far away from the store just for this reason- to have more room. Unfortunately, I'm certain that this type of disability is not recognized as one requiring a handicap permit- maybe in 20 years, but not yet.

Thanks again for all the comments. I've written a second, shorter message:

"As you can see, I struggle with parking, although I pull in very slowly and carefully each day. I appreciate your patience in tolerating this problem."

Hopefully this version will be effective, while not opening me up to anything nasty.

it has been my experience that most folks don't give a rap about an other's struggle with ability. Sarcastic people don't stop immediately when they realize someone is being honest and sincere and change their tune. It takes a really big person to recognize the common humanity between people and stop the bullying behavior that is shown in the sarcastic note. Why meet the guy in person. Get another parking space.

Merle

While I was thinking that the first note was a little too long, the second one is definitely too short. You need to give at least a little info.
Have you ever seen this character? Do you have any impression at all of a personality,
other than the one note?

That, too. I can't decide whether a note will make it better or worse. It's hard to guess how a stranger would react.

By the way, nice cans of worms.

If you are definitely going to write a note, it might be a good idea to state the way you park now is as good as it gets and as long as you stay within those lines (if there aren't any it's even less of an issue) then it's no big deal.
If I were writing the note I wouldn't explain anything about myself. I would just say bluntly "This is the way I park deal with it" and leave it at that. No sense in giving the guy any leverage.
If it were me, I would just forget about the note and move on, not even bothering to respond to it at all unless it comes up again for some reason. Chances are it's a one time deal anyway.

I think that sometimes the best kind of response to something like this is to have no response at all. But, on the other hand, since this person did leave you a note saying, "Nice park job (again)," you could almost leave a note thanking him for the complement.

and let him figure out you took it litterally!

Merle

Are you guys kidding me?
This guy is just a normal guy who probably thought you were an idiot who parks bad on purpose to piss people off. If you tell him that its something you can't control, I'm sure he'd understand.